how does one find a hobby when they are a perfectionist. I really enjoy painting and decorating my home, HOWEVER, my painting is not perfect and the my color choices are not the best. How do I follow my instinct without affecting resale or judgement? Here is an example. I live in the midwest and our home is less than 2 years old... we did not have the choice of the trim, woodwork or the windows, etc but loved the look when we bought it. I want and have changed some of the trim and window molding to white. The problem (for everyone but me) is that the trim and window molding is oak and I am being told I am ruinging the value of my home. Okay... perfectionist, being criticized for not only a bad decision but causing damange... HELP!!

Question is --- to whose values are you directing your talents? If you bought the house, only to sell it quickly then you should watch the changes you do to the house. But if you bought the house to keep and live in for yourself, then decorate it to your hearts content. You are the one that will be living there so suit yourself as to your likes and needs. The paint on the molding can be removed if needed in the future or if needed can be replaced with new molding. Enjoy your house. Ace

You're also having trouble letting go and have become a checker. You decorate and paint, check your work, consciously or unconsciously decide the changes are no good for some unrealistic reason, so you do it all over again. Paint and decorate and then let it go - enjoy it - live with it for, say, a year before you make more changes.

Your perfectionism is part of an OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). I too am a perfectionist. I catalog library books for a career and do hard crossword puzzles in ink for fun. I don't dare become a checker and re-doer because then I would go crazy. Know when to quit with the perfectionism stuff.

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Originally Posted by Ace High

Question is --- to whose values are you directing your talents?? If you bought the house, only to sell it quickly then you should watch the changes you do to the house. But if you bought the house to keep and live in for yourself, then decorate it to your hearts content. You are the one that will be living there so suit yourself as to your likes and needs. The paint on the molding can be removed if needed in the future or if needed can be replaced with new molding. Enjoy your house. Ace

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Thank you for your supportive and insightful answer. Your right I should live to my hearts content, but as a perfectionist your always looking for the next comment (husband, mom, children, etc) that makes you feel like you've made a huge mistake... I will keep the positive thoughts.

Hobbies don't need to be expensive. Make a list of what you like and choose from. It spring here and I'm going to start a new garden as a hobby.

OAK = no maintenance. PAINT = maintenance. Picture yourself older. Now decide.

Example Hobby for a perfectionist: John Allen LeBlanc - Amazing Wooden Replicas