After 2 years of being single and getting plenty attention from males, I finally met someone I am willing to try with. We are both in love and have been together for about 1,5 months. It's all still very young but it is great.
There is one shocking BUT. He left his ex girlfriend about 9 weeks ago, and he just found out she has been off birthcontrol since the beginning of this year, and she fell pregnant the last time they did it, which is about 10 weeks now!
Obviously he is very shocked (she just sent him pictures of an echo with the note 'it's yours, call me), and I told him I am with him and he can count on my support whatever happens, and to take his time to realize the impact of this.
But all of a sudden this brings a lot of complications for me as well! Am I going to be the stephmom of this child? And she - they - live a 1 hour flight away, will he choose to stay in that country to be with his flesh and blood? Or will he still be willing to move here as the plan was?
My first reaction was anger, I feel she betrayed him by just getting pregnant without informing him on that possibility. My next reaction was fear. Will I come on second place now after a child that is not mine? Will he still want to be with me?
And now I feel a little more relaxed. People come in packages and bring along lots of different things. I love children, but really wished for someone to experience that pleasure for the first time with me...
Sorry, this is not really a question, just some contemplation on a messy situation.
Any thoughts on this?

A paternity test is mandatory now a days, and I hope he does the right thing if its his child. I also think you should let him deal with this without pressure from you. Support him and keep a distance, as he and her must work together for the good of the child. Also no matter how good things are, a month and a half is not very long to get to know someone, so I hope you go slow and be cautious and keep your expectations very realistic. They have unfinished business, and actually you must let them handle it.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

A paternity test is mandatory now a days, and I hope he does the right thing if its his child. I also think you should let him deal with this without pressure from you. Support him and keep a distance, as he and her must work together for the good of the child. Also no matter how good things are, a month and a half is not very long to get to know someone, so I hope you go slow and be cautious and and keep your expectations very realistic. They have unfinished business, and actually you must let them handle it.

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Thank you for your reaction, Talaniman. I think the mandatory paternity test might be different in each country, but I am pretty sure it is his. The right thing, what would that be? To be fair, in the first place it was not the right thing for her to do when she decided for him that he was going to be a dad. He did not choose for that, and it was not an accident. The first thing he was determined about (before he found out about this) was leaving the country, as he is really fed up there. Would it be the right thing to still leave and follow his heart, or should a father (who wasn't consulted about becoming one) be in the same country as his child?
I was going pretty fast and was not too cautious so far, but I will really try to follow your advice. It will be hard for me to keep distance as I am just so curious how he feels about this and what this does to him, but I suppose you are right so I will also try doing that...
Thanks again!