Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Teens (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=327)
-   -   Friend and I have the same crush! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=121672)

  • Aug 21, 2007, 05:11 PM
    Ceasefire
    Friend and I have the same crush!
    My best friend and I, both seniors in HS, like the same girl, a sophomore. I have liked her since last year when she first came to our school, but never said anything. Recently my friend mentioned that he likes her, I told him I did as well, and he is cool with it. I can't stand the fact that he likes her, because I know she is interested in the same things as me, not so much him. Neither of us have said anything to her about us liking her. My friend and I are the shy type and don't talk to girls much, so it's even more difficult when I have to compete with him to make the first move. We aren't the type to lose our friendship over her, he has shown that he'll back off if her and I have something. But I know that I'll feel bitter and resentful if he wins her over first. What do you suggest I should do? I have no classes with her and I see her only in the halls or at lunch, sometimes after school. I know her email address, but I think she would be too freaked out if I randomly email her. What should I do? I have to do something fast.

    By the way. She is really shy and quiet as well.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 05:14 PM
    GlindaofOz
    Are you friends with this girl?

    What you have to recognize is that neither of you have any "right" to her as neither of you ever asked her out or dated her. All is fair in love and war. My recommendation would be to befriend this girl and simply ask her to do something that you know she would enjoy. You said that the two of you share many common interests so I imagine it wouldn't be hard to find something to get her to go to with you.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:16 PM
    Ceasefire
    I'm not friends with her.

    One of my other friends liked her for a while and tried to add her to friends / message her on Facebook (similar to MySpace) and she told him a flat out no, she was not interested at all. So I'm afraid she will do something similar to me. I guess I should just give it a shot, but it seems VERY awkward to go up to her in person, being 2 grades above her, and having no classes with her, rarely seeing each other in the halls. Should I pass her a note? Or give a note to her friends to give to her? I don't want to seem like I'm coming on too strong like my other friend may have done.
  • Aug 22, 2007, 04:17 AM
    Flexel
    First thing first is, general just go up and speak to her!! As a friend... do this a few times and get to know her :P:P then you can maybe ask for her number / ask her to go do something with you. Not use as in you and you friend her . Just both of use like go to the cinema or something :P... and you mentioned she was 2 grades below you?? Doesn't that make it easier for you since your the mature one even though your shy... my girlfriend is 16 turning 17 and I'm 19... and we just clicked... but I made sure that her mother/father was OK with my age before I went on with anything and I don't mean sexual activity's,

    I guess what I'm trying to say is go with your heart not with your head otherwise you will be shy all your life :P:P:P and is she says no then just act like it didn't bother you... when it should't there a person out there for us all mate :P
  • Aug 22, 2007, 07:45 AM
    GlindaofOz
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Ceasefire
    I'm not friends with her.

    One of my other friends liked her for a while and tried to add her to friends / message her on Facebook (similar to MySpace) and she told him a flat out no, she was not interested at all. So I'm afraid she will do something similar to me. I guess I should just give it a shot, but it seems VERY awkward to go up to her in person, being 2 grades above her, and having no classes with her, rarely seeing each other in the halls. Should I pass her a note? or give a note to her friends to give to her? I don't want to seem like I'm coming on too strong like my other friend may have done.


    I know when I was sophomore in HS if a Senior came up to me I would die. It would be too cool for words. If anything I would just say hi to her in the halls and engage her in brief conversation like asking her how her day is going how her classes are. You said you know that the two of you have a lot in common so if its music you could ask if she heard about a concert or a new cd coming out from a band you both like. Basic stuff like that. You won't never if you never try.
  • Aug 22, 2007, 07:47 AM
    LearningAsIGo
    Don't pass notes

    Start by walking by her in the hall, give a quick glance into her eyes and say "hi"... keep walking.

    Build up slowly from there, maybe promise yourself to say "hi" every day then on Friday find her at her locker and ask her how her day is going... (something like that)... then, "do you want to go____" (fill in the blank)
    OR you could start a conversation like, "Hey, do you have Mr. ? for Algebra? He was such a pain, so let me know if you need help." (you get the idea ;))

    Yes, she may turn you down, but there are 3 positives to that!
    1. You'll never know until you find out... which will drive you crazy ;)
    2. She could at least become a friend.
    3. You've got to start somewhere so this could help you "master your moves"

    Good luck! It sounds difficult now, but later you'll realize it's worth the effort to try. :)
  • Oct 15, 2010, 04:57 AM
    CupcakeLover99
    Hi. I'm a girl, so I think some of my advice might come in handy. If she's a shy girl chances are that she just has trouble making conversations with people. You should go up to her and start talking, but try to ease in, not jump in or it'll scare her. Don't try to get to friendly too fast or she'll get suspicious. Try to act like a helping hand, then maybe friends, then maybe even something better. Be patient. Get straight to the point when speaking to her, don't make small talk too much because us girls get quite annoyed at it.
    Hope this advice helps you!
    Best wishes,
    CupcakeLover99 :)
  • Oct 15, 2010, 02:20 PM
    cdad

    Look, the bottom line is you either talk to her or you don't. It's that simple.
    Don't pass notes as by the time you think of the :perfect" thing to say in it she will have graduated already.

    If you don't talk to her someone else will and then she is lost to them. If all you want to do in life is watch then keep at the pace your at. But if you want to participate it takes effort. Try words and sentences first and the rest will come to you.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:05 AM.