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-   -   Break up (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=121491)

  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:08 AM
    Dave1986
    Break up
    Is it true that if your girlfriend breaks up with you because she says she needs space, that if you acknowledge her decision an don’t chase her back you've more chance of reconciliation?

    Where as if you chase her and act all needy an desperate (Ie. Ring, text, send flowers, letter) she will lose all attraction for you?
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:11 AM
    GlindaofOz
    Yes that can be true. When someone wants space and you honor that decision it certainly shines a nice light on you. However, if they ask for space and you smother them it makes them think that you do not respect their needs or wants. Please keep in mind that nothing is guaranteed. You could give people all the space in the world but it will not guarantee that your ex will come back.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:12 AM
    SAB123
    Yes this is true in some cases, it's called NC. NC is not about getting an ex back. It's about making an ex jealous or mad. It's about you healing and moving on without your ex.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:21 AM
    hilaryfortnum
    Yes, scrawl a note in faeces that says "Stay away fat cow" and post it through her letterbox attached to a lit firework. Your violent and upsetting indifference will bring her crawling back immediately.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:23 AM
    Dave1986
    So basically I've totally killed all attraction and any chance of getting back with my ex with my neediness... if I'd of just been strong an gone into NC I'd of prob had more chance of getting things back on the road!
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:27 AM
    rol
    <if I'd of just been strong an gone into NC I'd of prob had more chance of getting things back on the road!>

    Na don't worry..
    It would not have made any difference.

    Move on with your life now, and start NC.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:29 AM
    GlindaofOz
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Dave1986
    So basically i've totally killed all attraction and any chance of getting back with my ex with my neediness... if i'd of just been strong an gone into NC i'd of prob had more chance of getting things back on the road!


    Well you've learned a valuable lesson here Dave. When someone tells you what they need give it to them. All it means is that this is not the girl for you. Move on and find another nice girl to date.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:33 AM
    Dave1986
    Its so hard, its easier to go backwards than it is to go forwards ha!

    I don't think I can be bothered with women anymore... or for a while anyway ha!
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:34 AM
    hilaryfortnum
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Dave1986
    Its so hard, its easier to go backwards than it is to go forwards ha!

    i dont think i can be bothered with women anymore... or for a while anyway ha!

    Yes, becoming a gay may be the answer. They always seem very happy and upbeat. Try that.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:35 AM
    SAB123
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Dave1986
    So basically i've totally killed all attraction and any chance of getting back with my ex with my neediness... if i'd of just been strong an gone into NC i'd of prob had more chance of getting things back on the road!

    Most likely, on 3 major break ups my ex had with me from day one I did not contact her once. She always came back begging for me back. This is know our 4th majpr breakup. I broke contact after 2 months wanting her back. This was the first time I ever contacted her after a breakup. It's know 4 months later, I'm healtheir and I don't want her back.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:52 AM
    mckenzie134
    How long you go out and whatwas the reason se wanted a break how longhas the break been goinf for
  • Aug 21, 2007, 07:02 AM
    Dave1986
    I was with her for 3 years, she's 21, I'm 25, I was her first love... we kept just falling out over petty little things which lead to a bigger fallout / break! At first I was cool about it, she started dating another guy which I knew was just totally rebound but I tried chasin her... prob because of the guy but I'm not the jealous type so not sure if that was just reason or if it just started sinking in. we split up 3 months ago, I chased her for 2 of these an then thoguht "what the heck am i doin, there's millions of girl out there" been in NC for 5 weeks no, well she broke the NC last week phoning me drunk at like half 1 in morning an I answered by mistake as I didn't know the number an was half asleep! She's split up with the rebound guy 2 weeks ago!
  • Aug 21, 2007, 07:08 AM
    GlindaofOz
    Just keep moving forward Dave. Honestly at 21 she has no idea what she really wants. You are doing good. Just keep moving forward. You know you are going be fine. And hey we're all here for you. You have literally hundreds of people backing you.

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