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-   -   How can you tell the difference between love & lust? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=121311)

  • Aug 20, 2007, 02:48 PM
    NalvaBabii
    How can u tell the difference between love & lust?
    I was just curious because whenever 1 of my friends meet a guy and they say their in love, people keep telling them that its just lust and I wanted to know how can you tell the difference? Is it something that they will do or not do? And how can you tell if a guy really likes you for who you are or if he just wants to have sex with you then leave u?
  • Aug 21, 2007, 05:54 AM
    SAB123
    When me and my ex started dating she told me she loved me after like the 2nd or 3rd month. Then we started having sex, she would say it and I would mumble it back because I did not. At least not at that time. Then about 6-7 months later I fell in love with her. For me it was lust in the beginning, then we had a 1-2 day breakup. That's when I knew I loved her. For me, Love was just something I just felt in my heart. The sex was so much better then that afterwards, because now it had meaning.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:00 AM
    Alan Penweather
    This question has already been ruminated on extensively by well-known romantic philosophers, The Buzzcocks.

    Of particular salience to your question would be:

    "Your hands feel a need
    I don't know if it's too much
    Just lust, just lust"

    And equally

    "It seems it's only greed
    To taste all that you touch
    Just lust, just lust"

    I hope that clears it up for you.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:04 AM
    hilaryfortnum
    You should just ask the guy outright - "Are you in love with me, or is it just lust?" I can't see that he would have any reason to lie.

    In any case, if the answer is "just lust" that's surely a compliment anyway. So it's a win-win question.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:06 AM
    excon
    Hello Nal:

    If he jumps up to leave after he gets his jollies, it's lust. If he hangs around to smoke a cigarette, it's love.

    excon
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:09 AM
    Bluerose
    The easiest way to go is………..

    In the beginning simply assume it's lust - it usually is anyway.

    Love, real love takes time to grow. It doesn't matter how many times you say it, it means nothing until you truly feel it in your heart.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 01:28 PM
    NalvaBabii
    OK but how can you tell if a guy actually likes you or if he is just trying to have sex with you and leave u? I could ask him that but obviously he isn't going to tell me the truth
  • Aug 21, 2007, 02:17 PM
    Bluerose
    While you feel like that the thing to do is... no sex. If he sticks around it's cause he likes you and is willing to wait till you are ready.
  • Aug 21, 2007, 02:22 PM
    Ash123
    Lust causes us to commit more of ourselves physically (errands, dinner, plans, sex, lunch, sex, laughs, sex) but not mentally.

    Love has a lot of these more committed qualities: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ck-121409.html
  • Aug 21, 2007, 06:18 PM
    kellyn
    If you like this guy how can you pursue him?
  • Aug 21, 2007, 07:09 PM
    Dennis777
    Hello.

    Lust is very strong and it's very hard to know for sure unless you give it time. The simple rule is Love Grows stronger with time, Lust grows weaker with time. Time means months not days.

    I like the answer above that said if your new together figure its Lust just to be safe.

    Dennis777

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