How do you choose someone to talk to?
I feel I need to talk to someone but I'm no good at opening up or asking for help (terrible bluffer) This is the closest I have ever come to asking for help and I'm drunk on an anonymous website (go me!)
I can't talk to my boyfriend/ family as I don't want to hurt them.
Half my close friends are mentally unstable themselves; I couldn't burden them further, and the other half live too far away.

I don't want to seek professional help as I don't want anything on my medical records which could prevent me from getting into the career I want. Take that away and what's the point anyway.

I have tried emailing help lines but they are much too random and impersonal. They make me feel worse.

So people who have been in this situation, what type of person did you choose? Who do you burden? I'm tempted by one friend but he is about to enter 4th year med school so it is probably a bad time.

I suppose the question is thus:-
How do you ask for help and from whom?

Thank you for any considerations.

Why would a counselor prevent you from getting the career you want? You know yourself that this information is totally and completely private.

I'm not sure, the only ones I know are through the NHS and the uni - both which require personal information. Perhaps I'm just paranoid... I can't afford to go private. I always lie to positions of authority anyway. I can just see it now..

How do you feel?
Oh much better now sorry to bother you.
[exit stage right]

Gar I'm so bad for making excuses. It's so much easier just to continue as you are. Pretending. Strange but it's these qualities that make me so good at interviews, equally cursed and blessed indeed.

I'm not even sure how much sense I'm making, I apologise.

The waiting lists here are so long, I had a friend tried to kill herself a couple of times and still had to wait to see a counsellor for half a year. Ridiculous, exactly why I don't want to take up valuable places.

Perhaps a member of the clergy can help. You don't have to belong to their religion to get a minister or priest to offer assistance.

Friends won't see you as a burden, I bet they will be honored that you thought they could help.

Sweetie, I read above that you are drunk. Did I read correctly? This may be part of the problem right now.

Do you want to talk here? Can we maybe help you?

What is wrong?

Sometimes its nice to get back in touch with one of your old friends. They always have an open ear.
Or
You can meet some new people, there must be plenty of people at school, make friends with someone and then when you get to be better friends just simply tell them that things aren't right in your life. Then casually ask them for advice.

Though you already said you don't want to go to your boyfriend, I think it would bring you closer, and you don't have to tell him everything just some things and it will still make you feel better, him more informed and then eventually maybe you can tell him it all. Also if he's good enough to be with you I'm sure he can offer some good advice and because he is with you he'll give you support.

Teachers are amazing people to talk to. Particularly teachers that you don't have a class with.

Ask and you shall receive.

You say you cannot afford a private counselor. Since you are still in college, try a state counseling type agency, that charges on a sliding scale fee. Sometimes it is free - all based on income. I know here in North Dakota, the regional human service centers are all set up like that. Counselors of many varieties from addiction to family to just getting one's own head straight.

Now a clergy can help and you and it is confidential. Unless you were to say to someone that you killed another person and then it is not so confidential, unless you confessed that to a priest during confession.

How to pick someone to talk to, that is not a professional? Listen to others and how they talk. If you hear someone who randomly gossips about people, you know you do not want to speak to that person. Talking to your advisor might help you, they are there to provide support. Some campuses even have student counseling centers - that is confidential.

Everyone needs help at one time in their life. Getting help should not prevent your career goals. Not getting help could prevent you from obtaining your goals, if you do not get what is inside you, outside you so it can be dealt with.

Talking here is anonymous - no one knows who you are. Pretty safe.

Take care and the very best to you.

Thank you all for your advice, I'm not ignoring it I am just having a think at the moment and will probably post again later.