I am 31 and my g/f is 23. We have been dating for about a year. I left about 3 months ago to go to Europe, prior to leaving we spent every day together and truly loved being around each other. I was a bit confused because prior to that she would tell me that she is not ready for a full commitment. While gone she would e-mail and call daily, saying how much she missed me, she just wanted to hear my voice, and that we are going to spend so much time together, and that she can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. That went on until about 3 weeks before I got*back. Her brother visited her and they would always go out and party, I went from 4 e-mails a day to 1 every 3 days and no calls. When I got home I saw her and she hugged me for a long time saying how much she missed. For the next couple of days I admit I was not acting myself, I had jet lag and recently had a death in the family. I was rude and distant towards her, she was hugging me and very friendly. She went out w/her friends and told me she would call that night, she didn't. I saw her the next morning and I barely recognized her, she was so hungover. She told me she did not want me around and we would talk later. I went over later and saw another guy there, I apologized for my behavior and gave her a necklace, which brought a tear to her eye, she then said she just needed space. All this took place in the hallway. About a week went by and we talked, she once again said she does not want a commitment and that the way I acted when I got back made her re-think everything. When I asked about the guy she said there are a couple of guys she has been hanging around who are just friends, she started hanging around them about the same time she stopped with the e-mails. I told her that I loved her which again brought a tear to her and I asked her what she wanted. She wants to hang out and talk every now and then. Then she started talking about marriage again!! When she left we were joking and laughing like we used to. I don't know what to do. She was never a big partier but now she is, I asked why she never did with me and she said that I am different. We had something really nice going until 4 weeks ago. Am I getting played here?? Should I just let her go?? I need some help.

Yes - you are getting played.

1. She's WAY to young for you.

2. You made about a zillion mistakes. A zillion.

3. She is juts starting her wild girl stage. She won't be ready to marry for 2 to 3 years and you will be long gone. She wants to party and try out other men.

4. YES she is seeing some else - the word space means seeing someone else.

5. It's you - you need to learn to be a man - be independent - you're WAY to into this gal. WAY too into her. She is only part of your life - you made her your life and she is repulsed.

6. You smothered the hell out of this woman and you weren't even in the same country. Woman hate that. You should have given her the gift of missing you.

7. You need to be a busy guy with other things in your life - you get back and you're ALL over her - no chance for her to breathe.


Problems here - you need to learn WHAT creates attractions. You don't see a woman every day - ever until you're married.

4 e-mails and all those calls?? Yuck!! HOW NEEDY AND CLINGY ARE YOU?? Yuck! She was SICK of you and you weren't even there. There is a thing called mystery and woman love it - she doesn't need to know everything about you - Ok?

You never share your feelings with a woman - it's repulsive to them. Period end of story. Ever. I love yous are for when you're married.

You need to learn about woman, dating, attraction, Nice Guys etc.

Go to these sites and learn about dating, nice guy syndrome, attraction, woman...

www.sosuave.com

Www/doubleyourdating.com

www.lovetactics.com

www.askmen.com - READ EVERY ARTICLE ON DATING

WWW.relationships.blog-city.com - learn about 'Nice Guys'.

Woman Don't want the soft sensitive guy ever. You need to back off and see what happens - leave this girl alone for a while - like a month. Quit communicating. You smothered her to death. No text or e-mail either.

If you feel for this person the way you seem to, then you need to make a bold move. Propose to her and set a date in the very near future. If it means eloping for lack of time to secure a church and a caterer, then so be it. This will flush out any games that she may be playing with you. If she balks, then that's your cue to bail out and don't look back. If she accepts, then make your wedding plans. Incidentally, tell her that rule #1 is NO PARTYING, unless she's doing it with you and only with friends whom you approve. You'll find out real fast whether you're getting played or not. Incidentally, if she says no, then you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that she'll spend her whole life wondering "what if" and every other man she attempts to have a relationship with will have to contend with that.

Dude? Marriage? They don't even have a relationship. She's seeing other people.

Please stop giving advice.