I found out that my 17 year old daughter is pregnant last week, Her father and I told her that we would support any decision that she made. She didn't want to terminate, and she wasn't sure on whether she wanted to keep the baby or give him/her up for adoption. My problem is one, She lied about who the father is... She told me one thing and I looked at her Instant messages and she's telling someone else its this other person. ( I will do the right thing , even if she won't by having a blood test done.) The other problem is that she plans on leaving and marring some 52 yr old pervert. He is trying to talk her into having an abortion, an he is going to pose as her father. I have tried to get her into counseling, but she is refusing to go and they said that I can't make her. I don't know what to do anymore. Any suggestions ?

Call the police and have that 52 year old arrested. If he is the one who impregnated your daughter chances are that his sexual relationship started with her under the age of consent (if 17 isn't below the age of consent in your state).

I think you can get him for fraud if he poses at the father as well.

A family couselor could really help in this situation.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Call the police and have that 52 year old arrested. If he is the one who impregnated your daughter chances are that his sexual relationship started with her under the age of consent (if 17 isn't below the age of consent in your state).

---

Tried that when I found out about him. Unfortuantly 16 is consenting age and I can't touch the jerk, unless I can prove that something did happen before age 16.

I'd also like to add that like heck you can't force her. She is still a minor and you are her parents. You can make her go to counseling.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

I'd also like to add that like heck you can't force her. She is still a minor and you are her parents. You can make her go to counseling.

---

Counselor said I couldn't force her to go. I asked 5 of them. All said it wouldn't help if she wasn't willing. I feel like I hit a brick wall with no way to tear it down.

Sometimes we can only deal with one thing at a time. Be there for your daughter no matter what and help her through her decision. The rest can be dealt with later, after the child issue is resolved. Keep her very close to you mom.

Miss where do you live?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dafily

Tried that when I found out about him. Unfortuantly 16 is consenting age and I can't touch the jerk, unless I can prove that something did happen before age 16.

---

Check the laws again. In some states, even if the girl is above the age of consent, when there is a large age difference, it can still be considered statutory rape.

Some states will prevent a marriage before age 18, so you might have some time. However, being pregnant may allow her to marry without parental consent.

I know it's a horrible idea, but is there anyway you could reach out to this perv? It's a long shot but maybe you could speak with him and remind him that she has a family and a life.
(You've heard how criminials break down in court when faced with their victims families? That's the route I'm thinking... )

If she took off with him as a 17yr old, could he be charged with kidnapping? Its worth consulting a lawyer with your options while she's still under 18.

Good luck to you. I hope she can calm down a bit and think about her actions before she does something regretable.

She's under 18.
In the US she can't get married without parental consent or leave your care without it either.
And if she does it any way you can post her as a run away after 24 hrs or charge him with kidnapping. You have so many options if you just talk to the right lawyer.
I hope everything works out for you and I hope your daughter will come to her senses and act like an adult and think of her child.

Amy

I never did get where they lived, since actually in some states girls can get married at 17 without parent concent,and in a couple states, they can move out at 17. I used to live in one such state when my 17 year old son decided to move out.

But I will say there are other charges, the DA can look at, aiding to the deliquency of a minor is one sort of vague law used at times for older perverts for those over age of concent. But as Scott mentioned many states still have laws even for age of concent if the age difference is over 5 or 8 years.

And to be honest if it was my daughter, and a 50 some was texting her, she would not have a cell phone the next day and be very restricted where she went. And of course I would personally visit that 50 something and be sure he work and maybe others in his life was aware of what he was doing.

Really You Can't Do Nothing About It.shes 17 In Most States She Is Legaly An Adult And If You Have Her Put As A Run Away The Law Cannot Force Her To Come Home As She Is An Adult. I Live In North Carolina And Our Law Is If Your 16 You're an Adult I Have Been Looking Up Information On It Latly As I Am 16 And Am Engaged To A 26 Year Old Guy. My Mother Is Signing Off On Me. And If Your Daughter Does Get Emancipated She Can Get Married Without Concent Also In Some States If She's Pregnant She Is Legally Emancipated, Like Maryland She Could Go Up There And Get Married With Proof That She's Pregnant Her I.d. And That's It There's Really No Way To Really Stop Her She's An Adult Let Her Make Her Decisions If There A Mistake Hopefully She Will Fix Them, As For Me To I Will Fix Mine If Things Don't Work

Well I think I would be able to take care of the 52 yr old myself. As for your daughter, she is only 17 and still a minor , correct? Then you have to keep her under your wing and keep the old pervert away from her. Surely he isn't the father is he? Get a restraining order on the old pervert, then put up no trespassing signs, and if he steps foot on your property, have him arrested for trespassing.

Ugggghhhhh, it makes me ill to think a 52 yr old pervert can be around your 17 yr old daughter and you can not legally stop it, or press charges of some type. Take him out behind the wood shed and give him a good butt kicking, I mean open up a large can of whoop --- on him.

I would again call one of the counselors, one you liked the sound of. It's amazing but even angry and very anti-counseling teens open up after a session or two. If the counselor can make a connection with her and at first just listen to her rant, then counseling will work. I'd give that a try.

Have you gotten to talk to the 52 year old, and do you know him or have you ever met him?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kt1205

have you gotten to talk to the 52 year old, and do you know him or have you ever met him?

---

I afraid if my daughter were 17, which she is only 13 now, but if she were 17 and some old 52 yr old pervert was messing with her. And I had met, or seen him, that would no longer be a problem. Take this as you will.

More about the counseling. She wants to be heard. She wants to vent. She wants someone to listen. A good counselor is the perfect unbiased person to listen and to know what to do after she vents.

Make arrangements with a counselor (prep him or her with only the basic information) and tell your daughter you want her to go to only two sessions. Anything after that will be her choice. If she continues, great! If she won't continue, then YOU go and get some help with this situation. (And make sure she knows you are going.)

I think your daughter is suffering from a very idolized view of how this is all going to work out. I would contact a local pregnant teen shelter. Like the ones that teach you how to be a parent and all. Older man, younger girl, lots of promises is a very common scenario. Maybe if you could get her in contact with someone that has been there, it will help her see reality.