Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship. I'm 14 and he's 16, we've been together for 8 months. We barely ever get to see each other (4 times a year if we're lucky) and find it really hard (but not impossible) to be in this relationship. We love each other very much and our love for each other grows every day. We really want to make this work. People keep telling me that long distance relationships are stupid or hopeless and sometimes I find it hard not to believe them, but in about 2 years we could probably see each other whenever we wanted to.

So what I'm asking is: Can long distance relationships work? Or am I too young to even be in one? Should I just find someone that lives closer to me even if I don't love them as much? And If I feel as though I've found the perfect person for me, should I stay with them no matter what?

Any help is appreciated

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Originally Posted by Stare At The Sun

Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship. I'm 14 and he's 16, we've been together for 8 months. We barely ever get to see each other (4 times a year if we're lucky) and find it really hard (but not impossible) to be in this relationship. We love each other very much and our love for each other grows every day. We really want to make this work. People keep telling me that long distance relationships are stupid or hopeless and sometimes I find it hard not to believe them, but in about 2 years we could probably see each other whenever we wanted to.

So what I'm asking is: Can long distance relationships work? Or am I too young to even be in one? Should I just find someone that lives closer to me even if I don't love them as much? And If I feel as though I've found the perfect person for me, should I stay with them no matter what?

Any help is appreciated

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Anything is possible if you only believe.
If you two truly love and trust each other it can work. But, you guys are very young and iit may be hard on both of you because of the traveling issues.
Never listen to what people say. Those that are negative are those that had failure in this type of situation in their own life.

If we all listened to others - there would be no musicians, no writers, no movie stars -
No success at all!

Never underestimate the power of love and never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

Xxx
WebMistress

Long distance relationships are hard regardless of your age. However, I would imagine they are even more difficult at your young age. Of course they can work plenty of people have long distance relationships that last.

The real question is are you happy with the situation? From your post it sounds as if you are questioning if this is really working for you. Which is something that most people question in a long distance relationship. I wish I could give some really awesome advice here but the truth is that only you know what you need. If you feel that what you need in a relationship is not available long distance then you need to decide if you want to continue with the relationship or not.

There is nothing wrong with being unsure. You are very young and love is always confusing but especially so at your age. Best to you.

Whoever first said that absence makes the heart grow fonder never contended with the weekend airport rush.
Keep in touch daily. If large phone bills are a concern, send e-mail, letters, cards and even faxes.
Keep your partner informed about your life. You may live separately, but sharing information about your activities and friends is still important.
Trust in one another. Suspicion will only break the relationship down.
Easy said than done, if you could do all these then I think you could be able to handle the long distance relationship.:)
I have seen my friends done this well, but it is not easy at all. Good luck.:)

Sounds like you have many people telling you things. Would you be comfortable keeping your relationship a bit more discrete? If you do that you'll have a better relationship and only time can tell; when the Roman Legions marched in conquest years would pass before returning home and am sure the majority of their relationships did survive. Imagine being able to hear another's voice.

Hey everyone, thanks for your help.
Me and my boyfriend do trust each other and being in this situation is extremely hard but we're both determined for this to work. Sometimes we're not happy with it but only because we can't be there for each other when we're at our worst but neither of us could imagine being with anyone else.
We talk nearly every day, either on the phone or through email so we always know what's happening in each others lives. I've even made friends with some of his friends and he's made friends with mine.
I'll try to stop caring about what everyone else says about this because I know that I couldn't be happier with anyone else, even if I could see them every day.

Thanks again

I don't quite understand how in about 2 years you will be able to see each other when ever you want. I realize he should be 18 then. What is he going to do move closer to you? I personally think that you may be a little young to be concerning yourself with a relationship this seriously right now. But I am a bit of the old school group.

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Originally Posted by MOWERMAN2468

i don't quite understand how in about 2 years you will be able to see each other when ever you want. i realize he should be 18 then. what is he going to do move closer to you? i personally think that you may be a little young to be concerning yourself with a relationship this seriously right now. but i am a bit of the old school group.

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When he's 18 he would have finished high school by then and he said that he wants to move to the city I live in (Melbourne) and go to a university there instead of where he lives. I know I'm still young but I don't think anything can change the way I feel anytime soon

Yes they work I been in one for 4 years I have traveled to her country for the past 2 years 3 times a year we talk on the internet and phone we are happy we been toghter for 3 years now and still love very much each other we use this place to buy our phone cards which saves a lot of time and money Around the World Phone Cards so yes they do work just have to work on it and the sex part is the hard one

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Originally Posted by Chaly75

Yes they work I been in one for 4 years I have traveled to her country for the past 2 years 3 times a year we talk on the internet and phone we are happy we been toghter for 3 years now and still love very much each other we use this place to buy our phone cards which saves alot of time and money Around the World Phone Cards so yes they do work just have to work on it and the sex part is the hard one

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Hah thanks for that :)
I don't think I'll have to worry about the sex part for awhile though

Yes, a long distance relationship can work very well. The trick will be, will a relationship work for the two of you when you can be with each other often?

Right now you spend only quality time together, and a very small part of the day--without seeing each other face to face. It's fun to be romantic online, in chat and in email. It can have its mysteries (you don't see the gravy stains on his shirt front and he can't see that you didn't wash your hair today) and its excitement (saying "I love you" often and telling about the high points of your day)--but not always the disappointments and the less-than-exciting parts.

Being with each other in person on an everyday basis and seeing each other for who you are--physically, mentally, emotionally--will make or break your relationship.

I know. Been there, done that.

Yes long distance relationships can work. I am going out right now with a girl who lives in Boston when I live clear on the other side of the country. We have never actually met in person, yet weave done nothing but grow closer to each other in our love for each other, I can't see myself with any other person.
So yes I know long distance relationships can work out if your willing to devote yourself to them.

I hope this helps you.

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Originally Posted by techpro

Yes long distance relationships can work. I am going out right now with a girl who lives in Boston when i live clear on the other side of the country. We have never actually met in person, yet weave done nothing but grow closer to each other in our love for each other, i can't see myself with any other person.
So yes i know long distance relationships can work out if your willing to devote yourself to them.

I hope this helps you.

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He said exactly what I wanted to say:) sadly I don't get to see my boyfriend, but I talk to him pretty much everyday. Sometimes I even forget that were like... cross country. Trust me, if you're in love with your boyfriend, don't give up on him. You two seem to have a great relationship, and it seems to be growing closer everyday:)
Trust me, you can make long distance relationships work. :)

I am almost in the same boat that you are in. I have been dating this amazing guy since I was a freshman and he was a senior. We knew when we started dating that everyone would make fun of us and tell us that it could never work but we really liked each other so we thought we would give it a shot. When we started dating, we also knew that after he graduated in the spring, he would be going off possibly over 1,000 miles away in the fall for college because there are no colleges around where we live that had his major. I really started loving him around 2 months of dating, and I knew that I would never get to see him. Well, he graduated and he now lives 900 miles away. We don't get to see each other very often, but our love keeps us together. It is very hard to maintain the relationship usually because we are both very busy, but we make it work. If you guys really love each other, I think you guys will make it work too. We have now been dating almost a year and a half and we only see each other around 4 times a year, also. I feel your pain, and when I graduate in 2 years I'll be moving to where he is too. It is very hard, but I really think it will be worth it in the end. Hopefully everything works out for you, I really do.