Im hoping some people may be able to give me some light on my situation please.
Right here goes. My ex girlfriend and I broke up mutually 8 months ago. We had been together three years and we have been very close and not only being a couple became very good friends. The physical side of the relationship had dried up a bit but not completely. And right up until we parted, we were very close in all ways possible. We broke up on mutual terms and both understanding we needed a break it also fitted in with me moving not to far away for the year. She also wanted to be able to have sometime to herself and meet other guys etc. We still are very good friends today but at times it can seem a bit odd with how she acts. But we also have a great time when we do visit each other to where it is close to what it was like when we were a couple but with out the physical side to it. I was stupid enough for a while when I left to turn into a bit of a lovesick puppy, not to the extreme, but enough where most girls would freak out and run away. But being the amazing girl she is, she is still here in my life. Now I can safely say for a while now I have not been acting that way, but in the way I should be.
For a few months after I left the "love yous" were still being said, and she said several times she really wanted to get back with me and have us again down the track in a little while. She does not say that anymore mostly down to the reason that its not really appropriate if we are seeing other people, and talking all the time about feelings is a bit silly and I do not say it anymore either. She rings me everyday and sometimes several times through out. I don't always answer all of them or I might be busy and not return the call for a few days. But at times she always seems really interested in me by ringing me a bit and being all fun and happy on the phone and sounding really interested in me and what I have been up to etc. Then the next few weeks or something she will back off and come across hardly interested at all in anything I am doing and hardly say anything to me over the phone and yet she still rings me though for what seems to be no point if she is acting that way. And it goes in a little bit of a cycle. She is not normally one to show much emotion if she is upset and talk to people about it, and she is not a big one for talking about her feelings for me and stuff, so I don't ask her I just leave it up to her if she wants to tell me. Occasionally she might say something. Like a month ago after talking to me she randomly text me sayn she was sorry for anything she ever did to hurt me at anytime and I never deserve anything like that. When she never really ever did much to hurt me.
I have been with other girls since her and have made friends with girls that could lead to something more, but I to be honest just haven't been interested. Nothing is taking away the feelings about my ex. I really do want something to happen and for us to get back together at some point and I can be patient and I am definitely not putting my life on hold, its moving forward in full swing. The hardest part is the thought of her with other guys and it really bothers me, I don't say anything to her though about it, and she does not tell me about anything in that department, but I do here things from people and sometimes it is not hard to put things together and figure out what's going on at times. That is a painful battle that I have yet to learn how to overcome.
What I am confused about is why she wants to keep me so close all the time. By ringing me frequently and even when she seems totally uninterested and hardly says a word. I know she does not want to be with me at the moment and she does not want to be in any relationship at the moment is what she has told me, which I just listen to and accept. Is she keeping me there so that I am there if she does not find somebody better or when she is ready to come back. I can't pick up on her signals, and I don't want to ask what she thinks and feels about me and us and the possibilties cause she gets angry and I don't want to push her away. I really want something with this girl as I find her amazing and she is always there for me and has been this year when ever there has been a problem. I had a possible cancer scare during the year which turned out to be a false alarm, but she got quite upset about it during the time, and even though she was not physically there she was right by my side. As I said I really want something with her, but if I am wasting my time I just want to get on with making an effort of totally getting over her and the possibility of anything, even though that is the last thing I want to have to do. We do still have a speacial bond in our own way which a lot of people pick up on when they see us catch up when we can. We are close in our own way and always have been.
Earlier on this year she also said oh I don't need to talk to you everyday and we keep in touch a hell of a lot and we don't need to and it not normal. So I backed off it went to talking to her every couple of days or so for just over a week. So then it went back to her ringing each day and maybe several times etc. I am hrdly the person who calls out of the two of us anyway.
I would also like to know how to get the control of the situation in my hands. They way I see it is, I think she thinks she can come back anytime provided I am not with someone else, and that I will always be there. I have tried to shift that thought from her but not sure if it has been working. I want to change it so she thinks I am not always going to be there to be with again, when she is ready and I am not just sitting waiting. So its change that she feels that she has to make a bit of an effort if she wants to be back with me. Hopefully you know what I mean.
So overall what I am trying to do is figure out why she acts how she does, and what I should be thinking, and what it is that she wants after having some space. Also any ideas on how to get control of the situation into my hands. And if anybody knows how to overcome the pain of knowing or thinking of there ex with other people then I would really like to know. As I have said the other woman thing has not really done it for me. Sorry to bore all the people that read this. But any help would be greatly appreaciated.
Cheers
