Ask Me Help Desk - In love with someone.if my family finds out they'll disown me.

I'm 22 years old... female... living a very secret life. I never did well in relationships with guys. Never lasted because I push people away. I had friends but I slowly shut everyone out just to be alone. Now I don't have friends but I have a lot of time on my hands. I met someone online who makes me feel incridible, like I've never felt before. I lied to that person for over a year about who I am. No one calls me beautiful except my mom, but she's my mom so she has to say those thing's. I don't believe her. I'm really down on myself and I've never had someone love me and I've never loved someone either. But this person finally knows who I am. I'm bi. No one knows this but the girl I'm in love with. She understands and she forgives me. We now talk on the phone because she knows who I am now. I like her a lot but she lives in another state and I have a cell phone but it goes to my moms bill. No one calls my phone but my family, because like I said I have no friends anymore. I lost them. I want to continue talking to her on the phone but I cant. Because she will come out in my moms phone bill and she's nosy. When she sees I received a call from Florida, at 2 in the mornin with more then 60 minutes used, she'll ask me. My family doesn't know I'm bi. I can't tell them because they'll either kick me out the house because I'm dirty, or they'll never talk to me again. I have to respect my family, after all they've done for me. I'm torn in two. I either keep talking to the girl I love and work something out with her and lose my families respect, or I don't confront my family about who I am and lose her. I have no personal life. I can't be me and be happy. Does anyone have any advice?

Hello.

Sending you a great Big Hug.

I have a few questions that will help me help you...

1. Have you ever been with this GF of yours or is this all over the internet.

2. How do you know your Bi.

3. Why can't you use your phone or get one to use.

Dennis777

Are you 22 or 12 ? If you are a adult, you have to be who you are. If you have to move out of your moms house, then do it, why not just get your own cell phone??

Next I will say be careful of any and everyone over the internet. I dated several people I meet online some years ago, and while I did meet my current wife ( of 10 years now) I did also meet some real nut cases. And I am told there are more nuts online now than 11 years ago.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLierInMe

I'm 22 years old...female...living a very secret life. I never did well in relationships with guys. Never lasted because I push people away. I had friends but I slowly shut everyone out just to be alone. Now I don't have friends but I have alot of time on my hands. I met someone online who makes me feel incridible, like I've never felt before. I lied to that person for over a year about who I am. No one calls me beautiful except my mom, but she's my mom so she has to say those thing's. I don't believe her. I'm really down on myself and I've never had someone love me and I've never loved someone either. But this person finally knows who I am. I'm bi. No one knows this but the girl I'm in love with. She understands and she forgives me. We now talk on the phone because she knows who I am now. I like her alot but she lives in another state and I have a cell phone but it goes to my moms bill. No one calls my phone but my family, cos like I said I have no friends anymore. I lost them. I want to continue talking to her on the phone but I cant. Because she will come out in my moms phone bill and she's nosy. When she sees I received a call from Florida, at 2 in the mornin with more then 60 minutes used, she'll ask me. My family doesn't know I'm bi. I can't tell them because they'll either kick me out the house because I'm dirty, or they'll never talk to me again. I have to respect my family, after all they've done for me. I'm torn in two. I either keep talking to the girl I love and work something out with her and lose my families respect, or I don't confront my family about who I am and lose her. I have no personal life. I can't be me and be happy. Does anyone have any advice?

Please believe that your mother have some ideal, a mother can feel that her child is not what life say they should be. She may not want to believe the sign or the feel she have about you but she have some ideal, but one thing you much remember no matter what a mother love will not change just because you are bi and as far as the other family member they will come to term with you and understand you are you if that what you are the world have change a lot so live your life and be happy take care

I am not qualified or experienced in these isues so consider what I have to say in the merits of your own situation. I have a friend who takes about guys in a way that no straight man would... it would not enter there head.

Now all of the lads, do what lads do and take the mick. We joke on with this lad in a fun way about him being gay... All good humuor and he takes it in the way it is meant.

Point Being: Because he talkes about it the way he does, we all suspect him to be Bi, if he came out we would not be surprised as we already expect him to and we would treat him no different because we already think he is. I on the other hand talk about women 24/7 so I I came out it would be a massive shock and adjustment.

So possible over time lead your family into this, so that they suspect this. Once they do, then its no great surprise when you tell them. Also by doing this you will know their responses before you commit.

Just an idea !

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dennis777

Hello.

Sending you a great Big Hug.

I have a few questions that will help me help you...

1. Have you ever been with this GF of yours or is this all over the internet.

2. How do you know your Bi.

3. Why can't you use your phone or get one to use.

Dennis777

It's over the internet, I feel I can be myself and open to her about who I am. I'm afraid no one else will accept me. Because everyone that does know me doesn't suspect that I'm bi. Once they know I know everything will change. They'll talk to me different or even be afraid to talk to me because they wouldn't know what to say. And I know I'm bi because I like her. I more like guys, I look at them more and I like what I see but I like how this girl makes me feel and she's attractive and I care a lot about her. I've been talking to her over a year now. Well I had no phone, my mom got a cell phone and they said you can add a line and pay half for the other line. So my mom got me the extra phone. But the bill goes to her and I know shell look at the bill and see who calls and all that. I'm in Texas and she's in Florida. The bill will show I got several calls from Florida, in the middle of the night and it'll show I used a lot of minutes. Now every time I get a call from someone else I'm only on it for 2 or 5 minutes. She's going to see this # from Florida and how many minutes I used on it and shell ask. That's what I'm afraid of because ill have to tell her the truth. And I duno what shell do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Are you 22 or 12 ? if you are a adult, you have to be who you are. If you have to move out of your moms house, then do it, why not just get your own cell phone ???

Next I will say be careful of any and everyone over the internet. I dated several people I meet online some years ago, and while I did meet my current wife ( of 10 years now) I did also meet some real nut cases. And I am told there are more nuts online now than 11 years ago.

Lol I'm 22 but I guess I do act 12. And I don't have a good enough job to have a car, insurance, and a lacks bill. There's no way I can afford a phone bill yet. I do plan on going to school out of state for music production, and maybe then I can be happy and do what I want to do. And I've known her for a year over the internet and she seems to still be the same person over the phone. But yea I know there's a lot of nutsos over the internet, I'm one as well. Thanks for your comments

Are you sure you are bi or are you just craving the attention that this person is giving you?

People can be totally different online than they are in real life. Fr_Chuck is right, there are soooo many nuts out there now.

I think you should really put your efforts into developing yourself - yourself worth, your employment skills and mature a little before you enter into any relationship.

Its your life you can be anything you won't my aunt is bi and she has tons of friends from other states and she is also 22 she doesn't really have a lot of frineds form home town either and she told my grandma(her mom) she was and she was fine with it try to have your mom understand my aunt did!!

It's on the internet?