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-   -   Ever heard of anyone going from lovers, to friends, back to lovers? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=120224)

  • Aug 16, 2007, 03:24 PM
    marcus83
    Ever heard of anyone going from lovers, to friends, back to lovers?
    Has anyone ever heard of two people breaking up, actually bieng just friends for a while, and then actually getting back together?
  • Aug 16, 2007, 03:40 PM
    XenoSapien
    Yes. Your lover should be a friend; if not, it's just lust.

    XenoSapien
  • Aug 16, 2007, 03:44 PM
    Oracleofwisdom
    It does happen, u have to question wh u sp;lit up then work on those areas not just get bk together or you will end up splitin up again. Communication is supposed to be easy its not it's the hardest thig in the world. Review why u split talk about it if u get bk together and work on those areas. Be honest and open ALWAYS.
  • Aug 16, 2007, 03:47 PM
    pointoflight
    It's best to never go back to an ex once they dump you. The chances of a reconciliation working out long term is about 3%. Pretty pathetic odds.
  • Aug 16, 2007, 03:50 PM
    marcus83
    She keeps trying and trying to be my "friend" I keep skrewing it up because I'm still in love with her, I want her back so badly I can't see straight! I try to be JUST A FRIEND. We've been going in circles for 6 months now... she keeps giving me chances to be her friend, it feels IMPOSSIBLE!
  • Aug 16, 2007, 03:52 PM
    marcus83
    I dumped her... three times in a row... I wanted her to change a little... instead she said she wanted space... now all she wants is "friendship"
  • Aug 16, 2007, 03:54 PM
    pointoflight
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by marcus83
    I dumped her...three times in a row...I wanted her to change a little...instead she said she wanted space...now all she wants is "friendship"

    Well if you dumped her then don't expect her to forgive you for breaking her heart. I hope she never considers taking you back. You made the decision to end things and now you must suffer the consequences. If I were talking to her I would tell her to have no contact with you.
  • Aug 16, 2007, 03:56 PM
    XenoSapien
    Come on now, marcus83, you can be a friend; you just got to try a different approach. Resist urges to get in her pants, to kiss her or do things that lovers do. Maybe pretend like she's that 'best buddy' you had early in your childhood. If she sees that you see her as a friend, she may slowly come around...

    XenoSapien
  • Aug 16, 2007, 03:57 PM
    marcus83
    I "dumped" her for 3 hours, then called her and apologized... the third time, she said she wanted space & took it! So I actually sometimes think she really did the dumping.. your right, looking at from that perspective.. I know I don't deserve another chance, it sucks!
  • Aug 16, 2007, 03:58 PM
    marcus83
    Oh yeah,. forgot to tell you all, It was a long distance relationship, always has been, She's in med school in Virginia, Im in Florida... all I have is a phone to get the love of my life back...
  • Aug 16, 2007, 04:00 PM
    Oracleofwisdom
    Marcus, ask yourself a question, what do you want familularity? Or are you scared of ending up on your own. Because if it's the latter don't go there I did now I'm devorced. Don't settle for second best because your scared. Do what you heart says is right, my guess is you know you just don't want to.
  • Aug 17, 2007, 09:45 AM
    sweetlady7
    Not really answering, but how far along is she in med school? Could you move to Virginia? Has she considered moving to Virginia after school? Removing the distance could certainly help. I would think about what is it about her and your relationship that you miss and want and try to communicate that to her somehow. Good luck!
  • Aug 17, 2007, 01:03 PM
    marcus83
    I try to tell her how much I miss her and love her, then I'm ignored! LOL... I paid her phone bill for a month after I broke up with her,. and she AVOIDED my calls! And still does... and when I get pissed and leave her a mean voicemail for always ignoring me... SHE calls me! And says " see this is why I can't be with you ever again" She told me she was in love with me,. now I feel like I'm in love with a brick wall.


    I tell her I want to move to virginia... and she says,. dont.. if I moved there I wouldn't be with her... and wouldn't have a job. Yet wants to be "FRIENDS" even though I invited her to a wedding... she forgot to call me and tell me if she was going or not... and then told me not to be mad about her forgetting a WEDDING w/ my family "she loves" I drove over to sarasota while she was down on break from school to surprise her... she left me sitting at a bar by myself... yet texted me the day after that she was "out of town." She told me for months I was "rediculous" when I asked her if she was dating... and said NO. I'm no "slut" I just found out she is see and has been seeing a guy, now her story has changed to " be logical,.you thought i was going to become a nun? "


    She's playing sick mind games with me... its so cruel
  • Aug 17, 2007, 01:17 PM
    sweetlady7
    Well, I don't think there is anything that I can say to make you feel better. Some of the things that she has said (like be logical... nun) are probably to mask guilt feelings that she may be having. I'm not much for games so I won't suggest anything like that. I think you do deserve to be treated better though.
    More than anything right now, I think you need consistency from her... if she is wants to see you then she should see you... if she doesn't then she needs to stop all contact (no calls, texts, etc.) for a while to give you a chance to move on.
  • Aug 17, 2007, 01:18 PM
    BMI
    I like the post about its best not to get back with an ex! Never look back, that's sound wisdom.
  • Aug 17, 2007, 01:33 PM
    marcus83
    No in three weeks she will call me and act like she hasn't talked to me in 5 years, saying hey... "its ******", (like I forgot her voice) "you really dont want to be friends with me?" proves how "immature" you are and I tell her I try, but I'm in LOVE with you. Then she says a bunch of heartless stuff saying I we don't know what love is, and that I treat her like crap... "friends or nothing" then I try the friends thing with good intentions... then skrew it up because its all an ACT. Im almost suicidal. Its unbelievable
  • Aug 17, 2007, 01:38 PM
    marcus83
    I stay strong for 3 weeks... then she's like (in her head, sub-conciously)... "whoa buddy, not so fast, dont want to lose you entirely...I like having a human puppet" now lets be "friends" while I go out and date new guys knowing it literally makes you sick.

    I tell her what she's doing by dating is killing me... and she says things like. What do you want me to do about it? Im not going to sacrifice myself for you..


    THEN SAYS "LETS BE FRIENDS!" :) F-her! Man

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