My son is 6yrs old. I brought him to my moms place when he was just 8 months as I had a very difficult health issue, I was living in another city. And I got no help from my husband. Nor his parents, relatives or friends. My parents have helped me to bring my son up as I needed:confused: :confused: to work close to 14 hours. My husband would just visit once in 6 months and not bother even to make calls to check as to what was happening? So I had to absolutely rely on my parents.

But now their squabbles and hourly arguments of how you should be... from my mother is really getting on to me after 5 years. To top it all I have a brother who comes home drunk and creates a noisy scene which sometimes ends up violent. I usually lock my room and stay with my kid but you can hear everything.

And 6 months back I quit a good managerial job because I found it too demanding and I wanted to spend time with my kid. This has ben constantly criticised by my mom in front of the kid. I had saved money to spend time with him. And I thought my husband will act and call me to be with him in the same city if I quit. But to my bad luck I discovered that his first love is work.( he works as an operations manager onshore oil rigging assignments) , he hardly seems to bother about what's happening on the home front and calls once in 15-20 days. He visits whenever off and even when he comes home he spends all the time on the computer or talking to his office? When I question this saying he hardly talks to us he keeps telling me "so many projects are on?What to do?. So I have realised that There is no point in arguing or fighting it out and have just kept quiet, allowing him to come whenever he wants.

But now I realise that my son is slowly getting aggressive ad understands a lot of things. Infact when I tell him not to argue with me he promptly asks me " then why do you argue with grandmother" I know I will have to move out fast. And to do that I have to get a job

But please just help me with these questions

Can my son live without the grand parents?

Once I start working I will have to arrange for a baby sitter to take care of him? Will he be able to handle?

Will he remember all the arguments he has heard or seen at home?

He gets upset or angry very fast . Is this because of what he has been observing?

( I have also had a whole lot of health problem in the last few months, Hypothyrodism, chicken pox etc and it would have been difficult to handle alone.I have become fat and really careless with the way I look. I have started looking older and feeling so worried all the time)

Will all my worries pass on to the child?

Will I be able to handle him independently and bring him up as a healthy and wise adult?

Will I be able to use him as my leverage to become the once happy bubbly person I was?

Please let me know what I should do?

• Move out of my mothers place or
• move to a seperate place close to my mothers place or
• go a bit closer to the school and my possible work are or
• continue to put up with whatever is happening here and just stay for the childs sake.

SWEETIE FIRST OF ALL YOU NEED TO RELAX... DONT WORRY SO MUCH...

For your first question, your son can live with out his grandparents he can't live without you!

As long as you find a babysitter that is good to your son. They have daycare places that I'm sure that he will ajust to just fine. He might remember some things because kids are not stupid that is why it is good to get him away from that situation as soon as posiable.
When kids see bad things the sometimes tend to do the same. Get him and yourself away from that unhealthy environment. You and your son do not deserve to be treated unfair. You can do it on your own you just have to have a little more confendence in yourself.

You need to find yourself and learn to be happy, with you and your son. I know how you feel I was once in your shoes. I am a single mom and my son is 7. Things always have a way of working themselves out. If your not happy with the way you are or the way you look the only one that can change that is you.

You never stay in a bad situation for the sake of having it easy. Do you want your son to grow up like that? No I don't think you do. Take yourself away from all the stress in your life, and I would tell that husbond of yours to get it together or get the hell out of your life completely. Does he even suppot your and your son with money? Because he doesn't sounds like he is really good for anything. I know your not happy because I can tell just by they way you wrote, you have to keep telling yourself that things will get better as long as you want them. Things are only as good as you make them. Never settle for less, and always make your little man #1! Because no matter what is is going to always be there. That's one man that will never leave your side. I really do hope things start turning around for you, if you ever need anyone to talk to please just drop me a little something.

Can my son live without the grand parents? I'm sure he could, its you he needs ;)

Once I start working I will have to arrange for a baby sitter to take care of him? Will he be able to handle? Yes and yes. He's only 6, he'll need supervision while you're away. Kids adjust very quickly so he'll manage just fine.

Will he remember all the arguments he has heard or seen at home? Possibly, but as he grows and new things happen, he'll forget most of it.

He gets upset or angry very fast . Is this because of what he has been observing? That's very possible. Kids learn how to behave and they don't know how to convey emotions very well, so anger and frustration often comes to the surface.

( I have also had a whole lot of health problem in the last few months, Hypothyrodism, chicken pox etc and it would have been difficult to handle alone.I have become fat and really careless with the way I look. I have started looking older and feeling so worried all the time)

Will all my worries pass on to the child? Only if you let them! Try feeling more confident which will naturally teach him how to be. :) Everyone has health concerns, its nothing to be ashamed of.

Will I be able to handle him independently and bring him up as a healthy and wise adult? Where there's a will, there is a way. As long as you're always looking out for his best interest and show him love you'll be fine. :)

Will I be able to use him as my leverage to become the once happy bubbly person I was? Of course! You can (will!) both make each other very happy as you continue to bond. Even simple things can help you both feel good. (Coloring together, taking walks, reading stories at bedtime, etc.)

Please let me know what I should do? Love him and move out with him when you're ready to take care of him (feed him, roof over his head, school, etc.)
Move out of my mothers place or
Move to a separate place close to my mothers place or
Go a bit closer to the school and my possible work are or
Continue to put up with whatever is happening here and just stay for the child's sake.

If your heart tells you your mom's house isn't good for him, take a little time to get a plan together and move out with him. If you don't think its that bad there, it might be best to stay. Only you can make that decision, but as long as there is no abuse and he's okay... there is nothing wrong with taking a little time to work the details out.

Good luck and God bless!

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Originally Posted by vidds

My son is 6yrs old. I brought him to my moms place when he was just 8 months as I had a very difficult health issue, I was living in another city. And I got no help from my husband. Nor his parents, relatives or friends. My parents have helped me to bring my son up as I needed:confused: :confused: to work close to 14 hours. My husband would just visit once in 6 months and not bother even to make calls to check as to what was happening? So I had to absolutely rely on my parents.

But now their squabbles and hourly arguments of how you should be... from my mother is really getting on to me after 5 years. To top it all I have a brother who comes home drunk and creates a noisy scene which sometimes ends up violent. i ususally lock my room and stay with my kid but you can hear everything.

And 6 months back I quit a good managerial job because I found it too demanding and I wanted to spend time with my kid. This has ben constantly criticised by my mom in front of the kid. I had saved money to spend time with him. And I thought my husband will act and call me to be with him in the same city if I quit. But to my bad luck I discovered that his first love is work.( he works as an operations manager onshore oil rigging assignments) , he hardly seems to bother about whats happening on the home front and calls once in 15-20 days. He visits whenever off and even when he comes home he spends all the time on the computer or talking to his office? When I question this saying he hardly talks to us he keeps telling me "so many projects are on?What to do?. So I have realised that There is no point in arguing or fighting it out and have just kept quiet, allowing him to come whenever he wants.

But now I realise that my son is slowly getting aggressive ad understands a lot of things. Infact when I tell him not to argue with me he promptly asks me " then why do you argue with grandmother" I know I will have to move out fast. And to do that I have to get a job

But please just help me with these questions

Can my son live without the grand parents?

Once I start working I will have to arrange for a baby sitter to take care of him? will he be able to handle?

Will he remember all the arguments he has heard or seen at home?

He gets upset or angry very fast . Is this because of what he has been observing?

( I have also had a whole lot of health problem in the last few months, Hypothyrodism, chicken pox etc and it would have been difficult to handle alone.I have become fat and really careless with the way I look. I have started looking older and feeling so worried all the time)

Will all my worries pass on to the child?

Will I be able to handle him independently and bring him up as a healthy and wise adult?

Will I be able to use him as my leverage to become the once happy bubbly person I was?

Please let me know what I should do?

• Move out of my mothers place or
• move to a seperate place close to my mothers place or
• go a bit closer to the school and my possible work are or
• continue to put up with whatever is happening here and just stay for the childs sake.

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He should be able to meet new people and be in new places not locked up in your moms place move out
Alexander