Since the age of about 8 or 9 I have had been depressed and have had thoughts of suicide... there never a day that gose by just about were I don't think about it at least once... and a couple of months back a love one of mine "ex gf" hurt me bad I was in love with the girl... and I basically tried to commit suicide by over dose on a bunch of pills... ever since that hurt... the thoughts and depression have gotten worse... and since we broke up even before this... I seem not to be able to keep a relationship... ive been on anti depressants for about 4-6 months now and at first they seem to work... but after a while even after uping my dosage it doesn't really seem to work... and I hate myself and just about everyone around me... I don't really care... or is that I care too much... I help a lot of people out before I help myself... mainly emotionaly and help others go through there hardship... but I never ask or even mention mine... and even when people do ask me about mine I make it sound like no big deal... cause compard to what some people have to go though my stuff isn't... anyways... if any of you have any suggestions that might help me be less depressed or what to ask me some more in depth questions feel free.