Answered already so Im deleting it.

well, are you attracted to women who are "imperfect" (I know that's not the right word) as you state or are you attracted to women who are about $ and bad boys, as you state?

or is it the women who come on to you are all about money and bad boys?

anyway... life is silly and that's your answer. When you can't get laid you want to. When you can, you don't want the person whose offering. When you're ready to date, there isn't a soul you are interested in. and then sometimes suddenly there are a few and you then have to choose between them.

its happened to me, though not on your scale. I never had women throwing themselves at me, but I've had women who were interested sexually when I wasn't and I've been through periods of lower sex drive.

look... you haven't found the right person yet. Not everybody does when they are young. I was later 20's, my wife was in her 30's.

and much of your concerns are real. Random hookups might tease the mind, but there are consequences like stds.

depression can cause lack of interest, but I just think you aren't needing it right now cause you haven't found the right person. Normal.

stop beating yourself up. Stop worrying about what others will think. Live your life and work on your mind and your goals. I found my wife when I was absolutely NOT interested in starting a relationship. Silly, stupid life...

Kp always has good, well-rounded answers.

Don't worry what others are thinking about you (such as your family) and you don't owe them an explanation of any sort as to why you aren't getting laid all the time. It is none of their business. If you are happy being alone and masturbating, then you have nothing to feel bad about. When you are ready to date and find the right woman for you, then you will. There is no rush to jump into relationships that you are not 100% happy with just to get laid like everyone else is. Good luck!

~Mel~

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kp2171

as you state or are you attracted to women who are about $ and bad boys, as you state?

<<< the women I find attractive seem to me like they are after guys unlike me. Aside from being an attractive male I dont follow the same patterns as other guys I know who are mainly concerned about sex. I feel I am like you said just not meeting the right girl.

or is it the women who come on to you are all about money and bad boys? << no, they are desperate insecure mostly large women.

anyway... life is silly and thats your answer. when you can't get laid you want to. when you can, you dont want the person whose offering. when youre ready to date, there isnt a soul you are interested in. and then sometimes suddenly there are a few and you then have to choose between them. <<< very true

its happened to me, though not on your scale. i never had women throwing themselves at me

^ They arent necessarily throwing themselves at me like I may have made it sound. They are just following my good nature. I dont try to lead them on but by being nice they may get the wrong idea. It dont help when I am constantly talking about my problem not wanting sex. It seems to make them want to give it up more.


look... you havent found the right person yet. not everybody does when they are young. i was later 20's, my wife was in her 30's. <<< I am 25

and much of your concerns are real. random hookups might tease the mind, but there are consequences like stds. <<<< constantly worried if a girl has an STD Im sure I dont have one yet.

depression can cause lack of interest, but i just think you arent needing it right now cause you havent found the right person. normal. <<< thank you for verifying that!!!

stop beating yourself up. stop worrying about what others will think. live your life and work on your mind and your goals. i found my wife when i was absolutely NOT interested in starting a relationship. silly, stupid life...

---

<<< thanks a lot for your words of wisdom I appreciate it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by margarita_momma

kp always has good, well-rounded answers.

Don't worry what others are thinking about you (such as your family) and you don't owe them an explanation of any sort as to why you aren't getting laid all the time. It is none of their business. If you are happy being alone and masturbating, then you have nothing to feel bad about. When you are ready to date and find the right woman for you, then you will. There is no rush to jump into relationships that you are not 100% happy with just to get laid like everyone else is. Good luck!

~Mel~

---

I really appreciate your kind words. I have been told my whole life I worry too much about what others think. Can you believ I am an artist? Some things growing made me to believe that I was an oddity, some kind of freak of nature because when all my friends were concerned about normal things I was too caught up in the craziness of my home life that I felt like I was messed up for not doing what they did. So this could be another thread but I also quit drawing a few years back (aside from my profession graphic design drawing on computers) my hand drawing/painting is not of interest to me anymore. I think that somewhere between HS and college I decided I wanted to be like everyone else (bad idea). I should be proud to be so different. I should embrace the fact that I unlike most my peers have the patience and self control to wait for the right person. Or take the risk of being out of the norm in life. Thank you again!

well if you're an artist at heart isn't a little self flogging mandated? =)

you are growing. You are finding yourself. It's a lifelong process. Now, sometimes you are finding yourself masturbating and wondering what's it all about... wait... Isn't that the answer for us guys?? =)

but the point in the mess of me being a smarta$$ here is that your perspective is changing, is normal, is healthy, and chances are you are more grounded, or going to be, for facing your questions.

you know how many people never face these, and then wonder why they ended up where they ended up?

so sometimes, maybe, grab a pencil instead.

and stop worrying about conforming too much. It is good to be able to adapt. To be able to relate. Its also good to just try to find your own kind of weird. What the hell is normal anyway...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kp2171

well if youre an artist at heart isnt a little self flogging mandated? =)

you are growing. you are finding yourself. its a lifelong process. now, sometimes you are finding yourself masturbating and wondering whats it all about...wait... ISNT that the answer for us guys??? =)

but the point in the mess of me being a smarta$$ here is that your perspective is changing, is normal, is healthy, and chances are you are more grounded, or going to be, for facing your questions.

you know how many people never face these, and then wonder why they ended up where they ended up?

so sometimes, maybe, grab a pencil instead.

and stop worrying about conforming too much. it is good to be able to adapt. to be able to relate. its also good to just try to find your own kind of weird. what the hell is normal anyway...

---

Lol you got some good points. I have been wanting to draw but can't bring myself to have the same passion. I know that my depression started right about the time I quit drawing but do not believe it is all stemmed from that. I could draw ever since I picked up a pencil - my family has told me it's a gift from God. Sad thing is I felt like that's all people knew me for for so long. I need to stop the conformity as u said. I like what u said about chances are I will be more grounded. That helps me to believe that I will be stronger in future situations when dealing with this sort of thing or with others needing help. I just need to follow all of the advice Ive been given and pick up a pencil even if it kills me. I feel like I gave my gift away for some crappy alternate existence. Thank you again. Maybe I could draw my dream girl as inspiration lol. I know everything will be fine but this damn chemical imbalance (not medicated) is leading me to believe that nothing is ever going to change, everything is hopeless. I know its not true but man is it overwhelming at times. It could always be worse. As I read these forums I realize that.

Depression, in any degree, isn't fun.

I went through a... oh... almost year and a half phase where I was feeling some of the same things you were feeling... not all... but some...

And just to be fair, even when I found a great person and was in a healthy relationship, I had a period of depression that sucked rocks. Ugly. Wasn't her at all. I just had a funk, got in a rut, and it was not so fun.

And now, having been through it, I know myself better... and can catch myself sooner...

I wouldn't say I've ever been one to wallow, but you sometimes hit the sweet spot, and sometimes you just can't get it right.

Keep trying and thinking.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kp2171

depression, in any degree, isnt fun.

i went through a ...oh... almost year and a half phase where i was feeling some of the same things you were feeling... not all... but some...

and just to be fair, even when i found a great person and was in a healthy relationship, i had a period of depression that sucked rocks. ugly. wasnt her at all. i just had a funk, got in a rut, and it was not so fun.

and now, having been through it, i know myself better... and can catch myself sooner...

i wouldnt say ive ever been one to wallow, but you sometimes hit the sweet spot, and sometimes you just can't get it right.

keep trying and thinking.

---

Thank you again.