My daughter has been so full of anger and hate, she says she hates her life and that she is jinxed. She vents out on the people closest to her ,she tells me almost daily that she hates me. Now you would think that she has had some sort of traumatic exsperience or something right? When I ask her she screams:because all I do is work and never have any money,
You won't pay for me to have a cell phone, are computer is to slow, I have no life and I always have bad luck every day.
I said you have had several cell phones and lost them or they got broke , her reply exactly because I have bad luck Im always losing stuff or it brakes!
She has become almost violent every one says she has a anger manage meant probleam.
We went on a vacation with her grandparents cousins and brother who are all teenagers as well, and the police caught my son smoking a cigarette the officer told him to put it out and be on his way and he complied, they could have walked away, But my daughter said to the police officer hey that is my lighter can I have it back he then wrote her a ticket for contributing to a minor then she screamed and yelled that that's not fair he took it out of my purse so he gave her another ticket for dissorderly conduct!
We went to the police station to pick her up and when she got out she was mad at every one for not being on her side in the matter , we said she should have kept her mouth shut. She screamed and ranted half the night;.
She has good goals and wants to be a veternarian and she is very smart.
We are helping her with paying for college and books, but we have cut her off as far as paying for her bill and she acts like we are the worst parents in the world. HELP!

It sounds like she is going through a stage. Hopefully it'll pass. Keep reminding her of what she does has and not what she's missing. When I was younger I went to a homeless shelter to help serve food, it was a great experience and really let me see how fortunate I am. Maybe it would be good for her to experience the same thing. Also does she have a job. I am a strong believer that kids should help pay for some little things, it teaches them responsibility for the future. If she can get a job and pay for her own cell phone and new computer (since she seems to think yours is slow) she might seem to be less "jinxed" and may become more responsible. Good luck.

Hello.

Sending you a Great Big Hug...

All of us that have raised teenagers (my case kids and grandkids) know what your going through in one way or another. In your case its anger that is almost out of control and at this point it has got her in trouble. She needs help and now. Im not big on telling people to get help because I think most of the time people need to learn to deal with their problems not pay a person to lean on. BUT in your case she needs real help not only because of the past but if she has future problems it will help her to have tried treatment.

Dennis777

You may actually want to look into anger management courses.

They work.

Too bad she's a legal adult. If she were a juvenile, for her disorderly/contributing charges, rather than paying a fine or probation, the judge could order them. But because she's an adult, I seriously doubt she will agree to them.

Did you say that you are paying for her college? Maybe putting a temporary kibbosh on that would do her some good?

It's a pain, but she does sound like a pretty normal teenager. (I was much worse than that!)

Sit her down and let her know that life is hard at her age and you understand that. However, it could be much worse so she should sit back and think about that. Also, remind her that you deserve respect as her parent and she needs to treat everyone a little better.. without yelling, etc.

And this too shall pass... ;) good luck!

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Originally Posted by Treeny

My daughter has been so full of anger and hate, she says she hates her life and that she is jinxed. She vents out on the people closest to her ,she tells me almost daily that she hates me. Now you would think that she has had some sort of traumatic exsperience or something right? when I ask her she screams:because all I do is work and never have any money,
You wont pay for me to have a cell phone, are computer is to slow, I have no life and i always have bad luck every day.
I said you have had several cell phones and lost them or they got broke , her reply exactly because i have bad luck Im always loosing stuff or it brakes!
She has become almost violent every one says she has a anger manage ment probleam.
We went on a vacation with her grandparents cousins and brother who are all teenagers as well, and the police caught my son smoking a cigarette the officer told him to put it out and be on his way and he complied, they could have walked away, But my daughter said to the police officer hey that is my lighter can i have it back he then wrote her a ticket for contributing to a minor then she screamed and yelled that thats not fair he took it out of my purse so he gave her another ticket for dissorderly conduct!
we went to the police station to pick her up and when she got out she was mad at every one for not being on her side in the matter , we said she should have kept her mouth shut. She screamed and ranted half the night;.
She has good goals and wants to be a veternarian and she is very smart.
We are helping her with paying for college and books, but we have cut her off as far as paying for her bill and she acts like we are the worst parents in the world. HELP!

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In my opinion, she sounds like a spoiled brat.

She tells you she hates you because she knows the words will hurt you and make you feel bad. This in turn will make you want to try and change her mood by, being nice to her, buying her something, helping her do something, etc. It is a way of manipulating parents without really trying. I feel horrible when my three year old tells me he hates me because he doesn't want to finish his dinner. But I don't baby him for it and the same should go for her. The next time she screams, "I hate you, I hate my life, I hate everything", tell her so suck it up and get over it and quit being a brat. There are people out there with far worse problems than hers and she needs to get over it.

I get the impression that you are a very giving parent by the fact that she complains about her cell phone, computer and life and your response was, "you have had several cell phones and lost them or they got broke". Next time she complains about that crap, tell her again to get over it. Tough love will work with a stubborn teen. I would know, I use to be one a few years back! ;)

In response to the answers I received about my daughter, first of all I would like to say thanks all for your reply.
I don't think putting a kaboosh on helping with school is a good idea, that would not help her in the long run, I do want her to become sucesfull.
She does have a job and pays her bills that is why she says all I do is work and never have any money and gets angry with us because we won't help her any more.
I think she does need anger management and needs to learn how to deal with stress.
I have asked her to let me get her help and she refuses the proposal.
When she gets angry its as if she can't control her mouth she don't care who it is or where we are. I was never so humiliated as I was when she went off in front of my parents that night on vacation. She even got verbally visious with my Dad, her Grandfather!
I now feel emmbarresed and don't even want to be around any one.

Believe me , your parents won't think bad of you or your parenting because of your daughters behavior!!
Just keep up with the tough love and make sure you are around people all the time because being isolated due to your child's behavior is totally wrong!
You are a good mom and you need to set up rules and boundaries.
Write up a contract!
Example: (childs name) will do A B and C ( at least one of the rules should be respect parents & no yelling, (mom and dad) will do A B and C ( at least one will be love, support and provide housing and food)