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-   -   More Short Jokes . (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=119719)

  • Aug 15, 2007, 05:59 AM
    iAMfromHuntersBar
    More Short Jokes .
    Here are some more one liners from funny-man Jimmy Carr (legend!) to brighten up this horribly rainy day, hope you all like them!

    No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea, you never get that tea.

    I grew up in Slough in the 1970s.
    If you want to know what Slough was like in the 1970s… go there now.

    When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste.
    When I was in Mexico last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

    I'm not saying Michael Jackson is guilty.
    But if I was a billionaire paedophile, I’d buy a funfair for my back garden.

    My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her.
    So I said, "All right, fatty."

    Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
    Know why that is?
    They don't fancy each other.

    If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

    A dog is for life, not just for Christmas.
    So be careful at the next office Christmas party.

    I live near a remedial school.
    There's a sign on the road outside that says, "SLOW CHILDREN".
    That can't be good for their self-esteem.

    Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.

    I went up to the airport information desk.
    I said, "How many airports are there in the world?"

    A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day.
    She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?"
    I said, "All right, but we won't get much done."

    I've got no problem buying tampons. I'm a modern man.
    But apparently they're not a "proper" present.

    I hate those emails where they try to sell you penis enhancers. I got 10 just the other day.
    Eight of them from my girlfriend.
    It's the two from my mum that really hurt.


    :D ;)

    J
  • Aug 15, 2007, 06:14 AM
    benn11
    The penis enlargement joke is cold:D
  • Aug 15, 2007, 07:34 AM
    iAMfromHuntersBar
    There was a few more on there, but I thought my thread might get deleted if I posted them! Ha ha!
  • Aug 22, 2007, 07:01 PM
    worthbeads
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by iAMfromHuntersBar
    Here are some more one liners from funny-man Jimmy Carr (legend!) to brighten up this horribly rainy day, hope you all like them!

    Boxers don't have sex before a fight.
    Know why that is?
    They don't fancy each other.


    :D ;)

    J

    Of course boxers don't have sex...

    You take them off before you have sex!

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