Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   Year and a half and wants a break (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=119710)

  • Aug 15, 2007, 04:04 AM
    kyle22
    Year and a half and wants a break
    First I just want to say thanks for a site to tlk to people and hope to get good response

    So the first year of our relationship was awesome we never fought or anything and then she got a new group of friends which I thought would be good since she didn't have a lot of friends before that. Now I am regretting it because since then she has changed and about a month ago she told m she wanted a break I told her I understand and that I will give her the space she needs. She told me it was not a break up just a break and I was glad. But now we have officially broken up since a week ago I have been miserable and can't stop thinking about her. I was always overprotective and prob. A little jelause of her new friends that she spent more time with than me. I regret being so clingy and giving up all of my friends for her because now I have to make new friends and it suks. She still wants to be best friends she said and she said she still loves me she just need time to sort out her own problems and is not ready to GROW UP I'm confused why she would leave me if she still loves me so please help me I'm only 18 and already heart broken it suks! Hope to get some good responses!

    Also she said she doesn't want a boy friend or any romantic relationships and said that I would be the first person on her list if she wanted a boyfriend cause she still loves me. Which just gives me hope when I know I need to move on I'm so confused thanks for helping!
  • Aug 15, 2007, 05:19 AM
    Chery
    Let me do some math here, 18 minus 1 1/2 equals 16 1/2 and she is 16, minus 1 1/2... well I get the point. Does anyone else?

    Dear Kyle, welcome to the forum. After answering to another poster with similar heartaches and posting this one, I hope that you did not expect this relationship to be the one and only in your life.

    Dating is about learning how to cope and grow with another person and getting closer than anyone else before. From these relationships we get a taste of emotional capabilities that are new and it is hard to give these up. You don't have to give anything up, you just have to accept these as part of your life and accept that she is going through these growing pains as well. All we can expect in these relationships is happiness, pain, or apathy.

    At your age, you both will probably meet and love a lot more people during your journey and I hope that with most of them, you'll have fond memories of the time that you had together. That's what makes us human.

    Respect her wishes as you'd want her to respect your wishes if you wanted space, and believe me there will be times when you need time to collect yourself and the young lady will be as confused as you are now.

    Keep in touch and read more from those that are going through what you are, it helps to know that you are not alone.

    Good luck.


    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_17.gif Life would be so boring without learning all about it.
  • Aug 15, 2007, 05:29 AM
    Tyne26
    This is hard for you, you are still young and I'm assuming she is as well... going by experience and knowing about other peoples relationships at your age it usually never lasts... she may want to experience meeting other people... I hate to say this to you but when she said you would be the first person if she wanted a boyfriend... I feel that maybe to let you down gently... All you can do is try and go out with whoever you friends may be and try you best to keep yourself busy, I wouldn't contact her also as its her that has made the decision so in my opinion its up to her to correct it if she wants to... I know this probably isn't the answer you were wanting to hear but a lot of the time this is how it turns out... I live in hope as well of getting back with someone but deep down I know that isn't going to happen...
  • Aug 15, 2007, 05:37 AM
    talaniman
    You are not alone as everyone goes through the break up confusion, at one time or another. Yes it sucks when life around us changes, and what we were use to and comfortable with is gone. But give her what she wants, and turn your attention to something else you enjoy, and be happy being single. The sooner you accept her leaving, the sooner you can start building a life that you enjoy without her in it. Find your own happiness, and someone will want to share it with you. Much Luck.
  • Aug 15, 2007, 05:57 AM
    DazzaB
    I'm going through the same thing, just 2 years younger than you.

    I know how you feel.. like there was no other girl for you, you can't imagine being single again.. you can't picture yourself with another girl.

    I tell you now, forget about her coming back. I thought the same thing when my now ex told me she wanted a break 2 weeks ago. I thought we would go on a break and then she'd want to be in a relationship again. Me nor you will ever get our girlfriends back, and after realising what she's really like.. I don't want her back.

    I'm going out to meet new people and to get away from her as possible. Your old friends.. give them a call and tell them you're sorry for ditching them and now you realise what's important to you.

    Don't let the girl string you along. Go out, have fun and maybe you'll find someone new. Don't wait on her. She'll contact you when she realises what she's missing (if she does realise)
  • Aug 15, 2007, 10:06 AM
    kyle22
    Yeah all of you are right and that's just how I have to look at it, its just so hard letting go lol well at least I can party without feeling guilty thanks again and I love this forum or website if you may OK well thank you for the advice and ill talk to every one l8ter
  • Aug 15, 2007, 03:36 PM
    kyle22
    Well earlier today she called and I didn't answer it went straight to my voice mail she said tat she was calling to see how everything is going and if I wanted to hang out I haven't called back yet should I? :confused:
  • Aug 15, 2007, 03:38 PM
    kyle22
    Oh and just wants to hang out as "FRIENDS" which I feel would be very hard for me, because last time we did that I broke down and told her I love her and kept whining I'm sure was very annoying to her so I don't want to do that again so should I even hang out with her?
  • Aug 15, 2007, 04:03 PM
    talaniman
    Hec No!! And don't call her back either. You'll see this very pattern in other posts of people going through the same thing.You don't think she knows you want to be more than friends? Of course she knows and any contact by her is mean't to get you confused and hopeful, so you can't move on. Stay with no contact.
  • Aug 15, 2007, 06:50 PM
    kyle22
    Thanks every one I'm already feeling better about all of this and relize she's not the only girl out there and she can't keep me on a chain so thanks a lot and hope to talk to all of you soon about how I'm better and I got over her which will prob. Take a while but its OK I need to and thanks again I won't contact her promise:)
  • Aug 16, 2007, 08:05 PM
    kyle22
    So now I got another problem she came to my work today because I haven't been returining her calls she asked if I wanted to hang out I told her I had plans and tried to go do something she followed and kept asking for dates and told me she was going to newyork with her family Sunday. I told her I will call her after I got off so I did I then told her that I think I need space to get over the fact we arnt together and to get my life together without her in it she said she understood and I told her I will call her in a couple weeks or she could call me just give me sometime. Did I do the right thing?
  • Aug 17, 2007, 04:47 AM
    talaniman
    You did the right thing making sure you had more time, as she was quite persistent to come to your job. Stay with no contact Kyle, and see where you are in a week or to. Stay busy and worry about you and not her.
    Quote:

    also she said she doesn't want a boy friend or any romantic relationships and said that I would be the first person on her list if she wanted a boyfriend cause she still loves me. which just gives me hope when i know i need to move on I'm so confused thanks for helping!
    She still thinks you two can hang out as friends, and she is determined that will happened. Stay on your path and heal. This is no time to give in to anyone else's agenda that doesn't put YOU first.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:58 AM.