Okay, this is really embarrassing, but here is the situation: I am in my late 20's, my boyfriend is in his early 30's and we have been togeher for several months. We do have sex on a regular basis and everything is fine there. The thing is that he does sometimes perform oral sex on me (and is good at it), but for some reason I can't bring myself to return the favor for him. I think it is because it is so long since I have done it, and I am really afraid I won't be any good at it. I really want to do this for him, and I am totally comfortable with him in all other respects, it is just this one thing that is somehow an issue for me. Can anyone give me some tips- as in things that would be good to do? I don't want any creepy come-ons here- I am just looking for some serious tips and maybe some reassurance...

Honestly, no matter how you do it as long as your mouth and hands are in contact with his "manhood," he is going to enjoy it but I can give you a view pointers. Tease him a little bit before you go straight for it, kiss all over his body paying attention to his pressure points such as under the arms, the crease of his leg, his neck,etc. You can even play with his testicles a bit, my husband likes that ;) Start by holding his shaft with your hand and gently go down and kiss, suck, whatever you want to on it while looking at him. After that, lick around the head of the penis; this is a really sensitive area. Once you are ready, take him into your mouth and place your hand around his penis and move up and down, however you please. This will create the feeling that he is "deep" without you gaging. Just be yourself, be playful, try different ways, and ask him what feels the best. There is really no right or wrong way, you'll do fine! Hope this helps a bit, good luck!

My husband states that bad oral is better than NO oral.

You might mention to your boyfriend that you're nervous, and that it would be helpful to you if he let you know when you were doing something right, and to be patient with you when you're not.

I've noticed that if you communicate in advance, then there is no misunderstanding later. For example, if he knows you're nervous, he can try to help you. If he doesn't know you're nervous, he might be afraid to say something to help you because he's afraid of hurting your feelings, which might make you never try again.

I think its good you recognize a little quid pro quo is nice.

Oral sex all the time is boring. I know, there are people who will say what the hell am I talking about, but it is. If all I get is oral, I miss intercourse. If all I get is laid, I miss oral.

The thing is though, oral is a selfless act to some degree. You are focusing yourself completely on your partner and they don't have to wonder "should i hold back"... no doubt what the intended outcome is supposed to be. Its sexy as hell.

So my advice is simple. Its my opinion and just mine, so if others disagree listen to them too... also, this is graphic, but we're all adults here so if its too much detail just skip it...

First... some of the best oral is when you are not expecting it. As in its not just a follow-up to intercourse, to finish him off. So catch him off guard. In the hallway and not the bedroom... when he steps out of the shower (I love this one) wait for him in the bathroom and tell him to come over, you get the point... a guy isn't going to need a lot of foreplay here and the excitement of "is this REALLY happening now" will get it off with a charge... car head is great... stupid and dangerous, but great. Waking him up from a dead sleep cause you're going down on him... the point is getting it done when he isn't thinking about it will probably help you, since hell mentally be really in the moment...

As mentioned, diff people will like different techniques. Personally, I like my partner to grip fairly tight, more toward the base, and pull the foreskin high and then low. Pulling high moves the skin around the testes, and this feels great. You can use your mouth to follow your hand... by using your hand it'll feel like you are taking him deeper... though sometimes its great with just the mouth. My partner does this "pinky drag" thing where she kinds drags a finger lower, over the sac, as she's pulling up... love it... just more and diff stim...

Slow deliberate movement to me feels fantastic. If I need a faster pace ill move more or ask for it. And as mentioned, telling him to tell you what he wants, as you are about to do it, lets him know you are willing to listen to him. Even with my partner of over 8 years, I still tell her from time to time to grib harder or go slower. Fav position one is me on bed, sitting up a little, her on her knees, hands on bed, over me. Just mouth at first, then hands with mouth. I can touch her chest and neck easily. Killer position. Second fav is her sitting on a chair, me standing. 69 is great, though I've neever thought it particularly incredible for the girl...

And then the peripherals. Yes, it'll feel silly I'm sure, maybe like the pat-the-belly-and-the-head thing. But you can use your free hand to cradle and tug and tease his "guys"... even though we can be in terrible pain when racked, the stim there during sex is interpreted as intense pleasure. So one great trick during sex or oral is to use a free hand to tug and pull and tease the sac. It does wonders. If he's standing, this is easier, but you can do this with him laying down, just as you can "reach around" during intercourse.

Also, take your top off and place his hand on your chest during. Its another stimulation that will drive him mad.

And since we are there... there's always the swallow or not debate. I'm guessing since you are tentative, that this is a little too much for you. One option... my feeling is finishing at the mouth makes a good blowjob great and a great one mindblowing. Notice I didn't say swallow... I said at the mouth. Using your hand to receive it and having your mouth near but not necessarily taking it all can be 99% as good. It's a technique my partner sometimes uses, though she's also able and enjoys taking it. Again, you don't have to do this at the mouth, but the wetness and the sensations are stronger... so even if you aren't ready, its something you can play with later on. Some people never will, and you shouldn't feel like you need to to something you don't want to.

So... hope that gives some ideas. Oral can do a lot to keep the sexual life interesting. Again, its different, and the mental side of receiving that selfless act... it just makes the sun a little sunnier, even if its just now and then...

So enjoy. Relax. I think with a little practice and an open mind you'll be glad you are broadening your sexual horizons.

Hello.

Don't worry about it. I know that no matter what you do he will Love it. Just listen to him and he will tell you what feels good and what doesn't. Just the way he knows what you like and don't like. Take it slow and quick at first to let him know your trying and I bet in no time you will be driving him crazy.

Dennis777

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Originally Posted by rankrank55

agrees: Hot, hot, hot!!! Great advice....uuuooaaaa is that my hubby in the hallway...BRB

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=) will it be easier for me to get into heaven if I help a few guys have a great night? Ah... don't know, at least ill sleep better thinking maybe the worlds a little more chipper...

#1 thing to remember... most guys do not want to feel dragging teeth.

#2 Do it when YOU are ready... not before.

#3 Nobody can be expected to give great head when they are new at it. Trust me in most guys understand this. The fact you are making the effort means a lot to most guys. You will learn over time. Don't get frustrated.


Another thing to say. There is no one right way to do it. Being someone who has been around before I got married I can state from first hand experience everyone has their own style. Never had two women do it the same. Try to avoid using only one technique... vary every 30 seconds or so. And unless you are ready to play catcher, have him wear a condom. You won't be able to tell when he's close and you can't rely on him to warn you at that point.

Practice makes perfect. I think he will love it, whether your good or bad, so just go for it. Once you get over your own worries about your performance, your in.

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Originally Posted by Synnen

My husband states that bad oral is better than NO oral.

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Thoroughly agree. If you are not comfortable tell him why you are worried. I KNOW he will understand, and even tell you what he likes when you have a go. Don't worry about it though. Your relationship appears to be good so whatever you do for him will be good.

Good luck

Well what can I say about this, last night I had oral for the first time oh it's good, we are both in experanced as this was our first time of trying this mine and her's what ever she was doing was all great, nothing was bad, and no harm in telling her to try this and do this, and her even asking things as well but hell yea its good there no right or wrong way he will like it either way. Is there really a good in bad?? And oh yea keep eye contact with him hell yea that turned me on she kept eye contact with me a lot :):) was rather good, and as she put it we will be doing that again :)

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Originally Posted by kp2171

=) will it be easier for me to get into heaven if i help a few guys have a great night? ah... dunno, at least ill sleep better thinking maybe the worlds a little more chipper...

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It just might! ;) Keep the good work up kp and you will establish world peace! :eek:

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Originally Posted by rankrank55

It just might! ;) Keep the good work up kp and you will establish world peace! :eek:

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give a piece for world peace? Or give a hand for... oh never mind

=)

ill try not to distract from the thread anymore. Pinky swear.

Watch a porno and see how the girls to it. Its like blow job training. Its sad but I learned to do it that way. That's why kids shouldn't be aloud to get access to trashy porn, kids who are curious will find out anyway, through asking a professional or reading a book, but access to trashy porn via internet is not good. Try talksexwithsue.com that helped me and I was about 14 when I did it my first time, not in my late 20s. Guys really don't like it when you can't give back its just not right. At least try. Come on now. Your making us girls look bad!

You can always joke about it. Instead of 69 ing, you 68 ing, which is 69 and I'll owe you one. <G>.

BJs should be erotic for the giver as they are for the receiver. When you give, pay attention to how he reacts, and how his body automatically reacts to the things that you do. Tell him how much you enjoy doing this for him, and how much you want him to be happy. Ask him how he likes what you're doing. The mind is the most powerful sex organ in the body. So make sure you involve that, too.

Always remember that smooth and slippery is better than rough and sticky. So be mindful of your teeth, fingernails, and jewelry because they can all cut or pinch. Keep your hands very wet. It only takes one painful pinch to ruin the moment.

Do you feel that it is gross?

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