Hi guys.
Im going to put this in point form to save you all from A lot of reading lol.
By the way she just turned 18, and I just turned 21 if that's any help for an answer.

. Was with my ex for a year and a half.

. On and off we were, her deciding to end it every couple of months.

. Whenever she ended it she would come up with some lame excuse with no good reason.

. When we would be broken up she would immediately have someone in the picture (I mean like instantly)

. She would always run back saying she wanted to work it out, or that her feelings have come back for me (right after I knew it wouldn't end up working out with the new guy).

. This last break-up we were on a break for a month, I found out she was talking to another guy over the phone who she met on the net which was during this break, she instantly turned around and said all these excuses why she didn't want to get back with me once she got to know the guy. I seen these excuses as more rubbish, more like reasons to just brush me off for him).

. Every break we have had she is used to me chasing after her, and always taking her back as I did this like a fool. It was just me caring for her too much I guess.

. So it's been 3 months now since, and I still chased her, until my mates told me 2 just use NC, and once I came on this site I looked up a lot on NC. Since the last week I have used it.
My mates believe I should not even want to know her after how she wiped me off for another, although it's easier said then done.

. She already is chasing after me, she has a boyfriend yet she tries to call me everyday since NC came into play. She keeps coming up with excuses to talk to me such as "I seen your mates over the weekend and they said something about you". (Is she using this as bait, or trying to show she cares, because I don't trust it even if something was said about me it's kind of shifty of her I think, as you don't try calling all week just to tell someone something like that).

. Last night she called on private number, I picked up but did not say a word, she said " Luke, Luke .... you know who it is, why are you acting like this..... i don't get you stop being a kid, .... don't you want to know what was said about you...." then she hung up without me saying a word at all.

. Whenever she calls with her ID on I reject it or don't answer the phone at all. On MSN she approaches me without fail, even if it's 15 minutes after I sign in... she always tries to talk with a hi... or hello? Why you acting like this? What have I done?

. Sorry to drag it on guys, but now that's all out in the open LOL I need to know where I go now? I still do feel for her obviously as she is my ex... I would take her back as I feel we had a lot more to go in our relationship and we should have worked it out instead of going about it like this, I feel she went the wrong way about... especially by moving on to someone else like that I feel is dangerous as it is so quick. Do I keep giving her NC as it is obviously burning her inside... maybe she is realising what she lost from this? Or do I occasionally return her calls and messages? I don't want to push her away to far to the point where she won't take it any longer. Im just scared as if I do slightly hang around she may think hey I still have him on that string.

(I have not said a single word to her at all since I used NC... not even over MSN... reason for her still being on my MSN is that I want it to burn her inside a little, so she knows that I really am ignoring her.)

I am really unsure where to go from here guys. Please help

I think you should keep the no contact if she is with another guy cause when she gets you on that string again she will turn her attention to him. Its hard cause I know how you feel as its hard to let go, I was seeing a girl casually that I really liked and I'm fiding it hard. You are still young, she is even younger, its more than likely she will not be with you nor the guy she is talking to just now... u can't see that just now but in time to come you will realise. If you keep no contact it shows your strong, it's unlikely to bring her back... Do you really want to go back and she does the same thing again, cause all these emotions you will have to suffer again, then heal again??

Dear Luke, I'll make this short and sweet.

Dump her. Avoid her like the plague.

She is keeping you on reserve and you don't deserve this.

She is immature and needs a 'home base' for her games. It will probably take her longer to grow up and you should not have to put yourself through this constant wondering.

I promise that you will get over it, it might take time, but you'll find someone that treats you better.

Good luck.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_33_21.gif

I would keep up with NC and never call or return her calls in the future. She is playing with your head. I know how hard it is to let go but letgo of this woman. Why put up with this. I feel this will always be a problem. Move on and heal and find someone who will stay with you rather then keep putting you through all this drama when ever she feels like leaving.

Thanks for the replies guys,
Really does help to hear opinions from others than people who know me directly.

It's just a real bummer how when we were going well, no one could get between us we were on top of the world. But she would instantly decide to go cold towards me for no reason when she felt like it (boredom, maybe sees something better). Just a shame to let go of something like that after I put so much effort into it, and she could just crush it all in her hands when she wanted to. I guess it's like a big investment you make, when you put so much into it you expect so much out of it at the same time. In the end I started to realise it was like a one-way street for me.

No I would not like to go through suffering like this again... I'm just learning how to live on my own 2 feet again. Every other time I would say to myself maybe I did this wrong or I didn't do this right? But it would just end up the same in the end.

NC, concentrate on you and your life. Stay busy!

GOD DAMN, women are the WORST POST BREAK-UP!

I totally sympathize with u LUK, I have a similar situation. Ex-girl wants your attention but you KNOW you should not do it. Harder than HELL, at least it has been for me to not come back like a drooling idiot. They always work the next guy into the post breakup, it KILLS us, we feel the need to go back just so no one else can get in there, I noticed she wrote to you "what did i do?" ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh GOD I hate that, they know what they are doing and they love it.

Sorry, its just that it seems so real and I know where your coming from. CAN'T do it bud, got to take the hit and never let your guard down, its going to be tough I know, but really you will feel better. Save what you can and fold when its time y'know, If your like me getting back weith her is done and doner, the things she is doing now will bother you even when you get back togethwer with you and once a liar always a liar. She'll just stick it to you again when things go sour again. The hard truth is that it will hurt now and for awhile, OR you can get back together with her and just delay the pain for say a couple of months but ultimately you got to face it. I'm with you buddy

My ex fiancé kept breaking up with me, 5-6 times in about 5 years. It's been over 6 months since she broke up with me this time. And it still hurts a little now for what she did to me. I just wish I wouldn't have taken her back 3.5 years ago when we had a first major breakup. I look back now and think how much time and money I wasted on that selfish user. By the way she kept the expensive engagement ring and used me for money toward the end. Don't waste time on this person like I did.

I understand the both of you guys.
It is tough and at times I do wish I never took her back all those times, just makes me look the fool. Guess I was holding on to false hope?
Thanks BMI :) Yes it is harder than HELL lol.
SAB123 I know what you mean, I wasn't as serious but at the same time I did splash a lot of cash on her, and I guess she took advantage of my kindness... just scares me to show that kindness 2 another girl now because in my head I have that fear that they are all the same ( sorry if that sounded sexist don't intend it on being like that ).

A question out of curiosity though guys... If she really does know how serious I was this time, do you think it may change how she is to me in the future?. and maybe things could work out... or will it just end up the same??

BUSTED!

Any talk like that last sentence is an indication of continually holding on. OH MAN, I was where you are now like 2 months ago, I GET IT. Its normal to get into what if, but trust its all a game, a fantasy, telling yourself this and that. Early stages of clinging, its o.k, I'm glad we established this:)... TRY MAN, DO NOT let her in your head, think of anything to distract you, ANYTHING. I would get my ex-girl in my head and once I caught myself thinking about her I would look at anything to distract me, I would ask really dumb questions to myself to distract myself. If I saw a tree I'd ask myself "why does that tree look differentthan theother tree" I have no answer but you get the point, I did it for 3 days and you feel better TRUST.

LOLLL...
I see, very nice strategy BMI, I'm glad we have established this too.
Interesting to hear your point of view.
Other things that keep me there also... when she is on MSN she listens to songs like
Wanting my ex back... or sorry for what iv'e done... or I'm missing you.
All that kind of music with them meanings... is this another part of her game?
Or is it regret building up in her because even when I appear offline or block her she still plays that music, plus she has video slips of that on her bebo page so it's not like she does it because she knows I can always see it.
That is another part I do not understand...

Ohhh these girls are clever my friend, they know damn well what you can see.

My ex-girl KNEW I always looked at her ex-mans page on Facebook, so when we broke up she started writing stuff on his wall, she knew I'd see it, she just wanted the attention. Girls like this always want the attention from cavemen like us, we must be strong and say NO DAMMIT, I still have my pride.

All those things you mentioned are her way of telling you it's that time again, got no one else but you as of right now. Even when they do have someone else they like the attention from ex's. I mean reverse it, if you found a smoking hot girl you still wouldn't mind other girls paying you attention, its awesome no?

You didn't look like a fool for taking her back, you look like someone who really loved her, but she doesn't love you. If she did she would not keep breaking up with you. And NO, she will walk all over you because she no's you will take her back like my ex did to me. Me and my ex were engaged for 5 months before she broke up with me again. So yes it ended up the same way. I agree with BMI you are still holding on let it go it just delays the healing process. I let go a month and 1/2 ago, but no all the way and now I'm starting to think more about her. NOT good on my part.

Yes she is pretty clever if that's how she is playing it.
Of course I wouldn't mind the attention lol. I'm just trying to get the point across to her that "You cannot have your cake and eat it too! You can't have the best of both worlds!."
I thought to myself even if I say straight out look it's me or him... that's why I am doing what I'm doing. What do you think?

It's not you or him, you don't need her, it just you, you will move on and then find a hotter girl and BAM, revenge is sweet when u parade her in front of your ex and she's all like oh man that guy is the MAN... LOL!

Disregard that last paragraph, that's just a dream of mine applicable to my own situation HAHAH

Yes stay NC show her you are strong and hopefully strong enough to say no when/if she comes back.

Man up and tell her that this kind of game playing is not what you want. Tell her that this constant on-again, off-again while she experiments with other guys is not acceptable to you, that enough is enough and it's over. Then change your phone number, e-mail address, IM screen name and any other means by which she has of contacting you (except possibly your address.)

You know, no matter how much we invest, if the deal goes bad, it does just that. The only thing we can do is live and learn from these experiences and grow to be better people ouselves. We can only hope that we see the 'warning signs' when we encounter new people. Nothing is a sure thing, but guess what, neither are you, as you will grow and change from every experience you encounter. That's life, and

Keep on Living!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_22_15.gifUnravel one ball of string and sure enough, another one will come along and keep you busy.

Quote:

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If she really does know how serious I was this time, do you think it may change how she is to me in the future?. and maybe things could work out... or will it just end up the same??

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She doesn't care about you, or your feelings and the fact is, you don't care about yourself either, since you allow this female to treat you like a piece of shat, and always take her back, knowing she will chase guys every time she feels like it. Wake up, as this is the worst case of stuck I have ever seen. Make sure you keep no contact with this female for life. End of discussion.

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Originally Posted by LUK3Y

A question out of curiosity though guys... If she really does know how serious i was this time, do you think it may change how she is to me in the future?... and maybe things could work out... or will it just end up the same????

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She's got your number... and no, she will not change.

Go back to her and she will eat you up!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_1_25.gifcats have nine lives, you only have one - so save a life today - it may be your own.