Ask Me Help Desk - Trying to regain custody

My name is Stephanie and I am 25. I have a 7 year old son and about 2 years ago I lost custody of him to his father. I had my son until he was 5. His dad never paid child support and had nothing to do with him until he was 5. I filed for a divorce from him because he left when our son was born. When I filed for custody after 5 years of him being gone the fight was on. I lived in an apartment near my parents, but I didn't have a lot of money. I worked two jobs to support my son and my mom babysat. Well, my lawyer was horrible and the judge gave custody to him. The reason being that I worked two jobs and my husband had more money... but truth was his parents are very wealthy and helped him. I have spent the last two years not getting to see my son much. I am a good mother and I would give my son the world if I could. He cries when he has to leave me when he goes back to his fathers. I try not to let any of this affect him. I want him to be happy. I love and adore my son and I just want to know if anyone knows how I can regain custody? His father is remarried and is never home. He leaves my son with his 12 year old stepson and goes out drinking a lot. He also has a bunch of criminal charges on his wife and a few other assalt charges that are pending. I think my son deserves to be taken care of and have me nurture him. Any advice that will help me win this thing will be appreciated. I am desperate here.

This will be a big, big fight. Reversing custody is terribly difficult. You will have to prove a change of circumstances. No one here can really tell you how to do this. It is not recommended to be tried on your own. You will have to consult a lawyer to see if you even have grounds to attempt to modify your current custody arrangement. I wish I could tell you something better but I am afraid that is the way it is. Really check word of mouth and reputation with the court and try to find a great lawyer to get advice. I wouldn't just check with one either, check your chances against a few lawyers. Good luck.

Stephanie,
Hello! My name is Kara. I just lost custody of my son on the Aug. 20th. My story is very similar to yours. My son's father did not want to have anything to do with him until he was 3 1/2... then after my son turned 6, he moved to Florida for 3 years (we live in Indiana). He told my son then that when he is 13 he will have to tell the judge he wants to live with him. He moved back when my son was 9, and carried the threat with him. I moved 4 years ago so my son could be closer to him. My mistake was moving too close to him... less than a mile. He took complete control and left our son w/ me every weekend and he seen him through the week. I met someone and moved 40 miles away. But he travels so it really wasn't that bad on him. My lawyer wasn't much help either. We married last year and his dad married late last year. My son lived w/ his dad for the last school year. My son kept telling me all year he wanted to come home and then all of a sudden... 2 weeks before court, he was in his care then, he was brainwashed and I believe threatened. My son told me that his dad wasn't givng him a choice of where he wanted to live. His dad is always gone and my son doesn't like being there all the time with his step mom. He would say when I take him back... "back to the dungeon". That is hard to have to do. I would have had him come back then but I thought I was doing what was in the best interest of my son and left him be until school ends. I am pregnant and my son has known since June, he was perfectly fine w/ that... his dad found out Aug. 5, and now my son is afraid of taking backseat to the baby (wasn't a problem for him prior to his dad finding out)... and wants to go to school where his dad lives because of the education... what 14 year old says that? We had court in a small town and he brought down his indy lawyer and had a local attorney as well. When he walked into the courtroom, he looked at our son and gave him the worst look a father could give to his own child... the saying if looks could kill! I swear there is something behind that glare! In the courtroom... I wasn't able to answer questions asked w/ explanations as he was... only yes and no's... his attorney kept objecting, to hear say, yet my attorney let him talk of hear say. My son is 14 and his decision mattered to the judge and that was that. I think he was afraid of his dad. It was only for temp custody, but I'm afraid that it is going to be hard to regain full custody again. I don't understand how the court system works. They obviously don't look at the situation very well. Maybe you could request a guardian ad litum... That is my next move for this battle. Plus getting his work schedule and proving that he is lying when he says he never travels for work. He lied under oath... I believe in karma and it will come back on him one of these days... I just hope it does the day we go back to court! Ok, I think I've written a book now! :eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by shudgins03

My name is Stephanie and I am 25. I have a 7 year old son and about 2 years ago I lost custody of him to his father. I had my son until he was 5. His dad never paid child support and had nothing to do with him until he was 5. I filed for a divorce from him because he left when our son was born. When I filed for custody after 5 years of him being gone the fight was on. I lived in an apartment near my parents, but I didn't have alot of money. I worked two jobs to support my son and my mom babysat. Well, my lawyer was horrible and the judge gave custody to him. The reason being that I worked two jobs and my husband had more money...but truth was his parents are very wealthy and helped him. I have spent the last two years not getting to see my son much. I am a good mother and I would give my son the world if I could. He cries when he has to leave me when he goes back to his fathers. I try not to let any of this affect him. I want him to be happy. I love and adore my son and I just want to know if anyone knows how i can regain custody? His father is remarried and is never home. He leaves my son with his 12 year old stepson and goes out drinking alot. He also has a bunch of criminal charges on his wife and a few other assalt charges that are pending. I think my son deserves to be taken care of and have me nurture him. Any advice that will help me win this thing will be appreciated. I am desperate here.

Get an attorney or document everything and if you have proof of him drinking while the child is in his care then bring it to court. File a motion to review visits.