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-   -   Now I feel bad. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=118945)

  • Aug 12, 2007, 03:55 PM
    XxXscarsXxX
    now i feel bad.
    okay, so most of you know about my dad because like its everywhere.

    well a couple months ago he turned off my cell phone, and today it came back on and I think its because his x- and I made him feel guilty for not being there for me.. now I feel bad.

    I think another reason he turned it on is because he wants me to call him but I don't want to!

    what do I do?


    I'm so stressed!:confused: :(
  • Aug 12, 2007, 04:03 PM
    xxmissconfusedxx
    Well he is your father in all but he is a drug dealer it is not the best example for you so call him and explain how you feel about his whole situation and see what he wants how could a phone call hurt?
  • Aug 12, 2007, 04:05 PM
    XxXscarsXxX
    I haven't seen him in like a yr
  • Aug 12, 2007, 04:08 PM
    xxmissconfusedxx
    Well just call and see what he wants my father is also a no good piece of trash but I still call him to see what he wants
  • Aug 12, 2007, 11:07 PM
    XxXscarsXxX
    Okay... ill sleep on it..
  • Aug 13, 2007, 04:23 AM
    xxmissconfusedxx
    If your not going to take our advise then why waste our time?
  • Aug 13, 2007, 06:22 AM
    GlindaofOz
    Dolly what do you want to do? Not what you think you should or what you think other people want you to do. What feels right to you?

    I think the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is try to forgive your father for the horrible things he has done. It will ease a burden off you. Maybe speak to your counselor about how you could work through that. Now keep in mind forgiving him is not for him it is for you.

    I grew up with a pretty rotten Dad myself. It took my a very long time to get over how angry I was at him for everything that he did. The day I was able to say to myself I forgive him it released so much inside of me. It got rid of a lot of that anger. I never needed to tell him because it wasn't about him.

    If you do not feel ready to have him in your life then do not contact him. Life gave you kind of a crummy roll parent wise and now its up to you to rise above that. You don't have to have a relationship with your Dad if it makes you sad. If you want to have one with him I would go in with low expectations kiddo. If he is still taking drugs he may have a hard time keeping his word to you. Or he may really change. You know my goal for you is just for you to keep your heart open.
  • Aug 13, 2007, 07:09 AM
    XxXscarsXxX
    Okay well I will forgive him but I won't forget and I'm not sure if I'm ready to have him back into my life yet.. but I will forgive him.
  • Aug 13, 2007, 07:10 AM
    GlindaofOz
    Forgiving is not about forgetting. Believe me I have not forgotten one thing my father did.
  • Aug 13, 2007, 07:10 AM
    NeedKarma
    Why does a 12 year old need a cellphone?
  • Aug 13, 2007, 07:19 AM
    XxXscarsXxX
    Uh... That's NOT THE POINT!

    Ps.

    Why I need a cell phone:

    Because I need to call friends when I need to get picked of from a party, chear, boyfriends house... ect.
  • Aug 13, 2007, 08:34 AM
    LearningAsIGo
    If you don't want to call him, don't. It might be good to keep some distance and clear your head.
  • Aug 13, 2007, 09:01 AM
    XxXscarsXxX
    You that's how I feel but I wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do or you..
  • Aug 13, 2007, 10:00 AM
    LearningAsIGo
    Its fine to do that. You can't read his mind, so don't try to ;)
  • Aug 13, 2007, 01:30 PM
    XxXscarsXxX
    Okay thanks guys.. okay like an hour ago or something I got a text from him saying he's sorry for not being there for me and he hopes I can forgive him and all that stuff. He said I can ask him anything and he will tell the truth no matter much and he owes it to me..

    But the thing that really got me is he said.. "im proud of you rachael, really proud...

    OMG! I broke down right there! No one has ever said that to me!

    I didn't tell him how I dress or cuss or any of that so I feel guilty.. cause he's proud of a screw up.. if I tell him about it he will probibly be disgusted and dissapointed in me...
    And I can't do that.. but I can't lie and tell him everything is fine... oh and my boyfriend? Yeah right! Hed be pissed! I'm pissed at myself!

    He said he wants to see me... I can't let him see me like this.. he's never seen me like this!

    :'(
  • Aug 13, 2007, 01:42 PM
    xxmissconfusedxx
    Why do you the dress and act the way you do because of your dad?
  • Aug 13, 2007, 01:49 PM
    XxXscarsXxX
    No.. not because of him I'm not really sure why I guess to get attention because I don't get a lot.. I know its not the right way but when I dress regularly I feel ugly even though the guys still look. I'm not sure I really care about the guys anymore.. what am I saying? You I do! But I look for more than sex.. I don't even look for sex. I just look for someone who will care, anderstand and treat me right.

    Unno what? I don't know why I dress the way I dress.
  • Aug 13, 2007, 01:52 PM
    J_9
    You know hun, you will get more attention from better people if you dress appropriately. The attention you get from dressing as you do will only come from losers who have no respect for themselves and no respect for you.
  • Aug 13, 2007, 01:55 PM
    XxXscarsXxX
    You I otally know what you mean.. I LOVE YOU PICTURE!
  • Aug 13, 2007, 02:00 PM
    J_9
    That picture you have there is gorgeous. You look absolutely beautiful. That, my dear, is appropriate for your age.

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