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-   -   Confused as always (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=118747)

  • Aug 11, 2007, 11:18 PM
    never_say_always
    Confused as always
    OK.. ive used this site before but haven't posted anything in awhile.. im 18 years old.. im about to go away for college.. was excited for awhile.. but then a couple weeks before going, I got denied for loans and thought I was going to end up staying home.. I was disappointed but started to accept staying home.. more and more I accepted staying home and became excited because I adore the people around me.. ive become so close with so many people, met so many new people, and became very close with one cousin especially.. ok this is where the "relationships" part comes in.. ive been on and off with this one kid for over a year.. we were on a good start again but going away killed us once more.. we will have an everlasting love for one another.. we've been friends for the past month or so.. not so close anymore.. and when I started asking him questions about the school he's going to (the one I may be going to if I'm staying home) he became very interested.. still motivating me to go away but excited that there's a possibility I may be staying home.. hmm.. now that killed me.. that there's a possibility we can start up and no games this time.. a real relationship.. with him.. I couldn't ask for anything better.. now am I being foolish? If I want to stay home and him being even more of a push to stay home, should I stay?. or go away?. and wonder what we couldve been..
  • Aug 12, 2007, 06:48 AM
    s_cianci
    That's a decision that you have to make. You say that you were "denied for loans." That seems rather unusual, to be turned down for a student loan. But you'll save a lot of money if you attend school close to home. You'll also get just as good of an education if you stay home. The point I'm trying to make is that, as far as college goes, location really isn't important. What's important is the school's reputation and the opportunities offered. I don't think that the consideration of a relationship should be what drives your decision. There are plenty of men to be met whether you stay home or go away. There's no real commitment between you right now, just speculation. That said, you need to put your education and career first, so do what's going to best advance that.
  • Aug 12, 2007, 06:55 AM
    chuff
    At your age you should go to the school you want. You have no idea what the next 2 to 7 years are going to be like but just trust me, as I'm only 30 so I'm not that far removed but those years are going to change so much for you and when you get past them you won't wonder if it would have worked out, you'll know that it would not have. So if you wind up in the same town, great. If not don't worry about it.
  • Aug 12, 2007, 07:16 AM
    nicespringgirl
    I don't want to be wrong, did u say you are seeing your cousin?!

    For me, school always comes first, now work.

    A solid foundation is very important, ask your parents what do they think!
  • Aug 12, 2007, 07:38 AM
    talaniman
    I have to agree very strongly with the others, as an education is so important to prepare you for life, that it has to be a priority over everything else, whether you go away or stay. Leave the options open, and don't close the doors on anything involving your building for the future.
  • Aug 12, 2007, 07:45 AM
    nicespringgirl
    U go to school find a part time job on campus. You are problly eligible for work study ask the financial aid office. Declare your major as early as possible, so you can be eligible for the scholarship from your department. (they usually have one)
    Make good grades and get involved on campus activities, make new friends and connections with professors. There might be other grant ,scholarship you will know once you start school and get involved in.


    Hey Tal,
    I made some hotdogs yesterday, it reminds me of your granddaughter.:D
  • Aug 12, 2007, 10:40 AM
    talaniman
    She starts preschool next week, Time for a break.
  • Aug 12, 2007, 12:31 PM
    never_say_always
    Confused as always part 2
    OK.. so its between.. going away- something new, new people, greatt school, freedom.. stay home- cheaper, really good school, new people, sustaining great friendships I have, being home, possibility of the relationship I always wanted with the person I've always wanted it with.. I was staying home because I wanted time to prepare for buffalo (away school).. prepare myself mentally and academically.. was going to start at home to start on loans and scholarships and also get a feel of the college work before I go away and into a harder curriculum.. become more organized and disciplined.. THEN the boy comes back in the picture and I begin to imagine staying home and doing the college thing with him by my side.. we'd be going to the same school.. I was staying home for all the right reasons until I thought about him and scared of having him be a big factor in my decision of staying home because there's always a possibility of things going wrong.. should I go and see how it is and if I don't like it, come back? Or stay home, prepare, and have him be a possibility again? But if we do start again and its great- I may never want to go bak.. am I being naïve?
  • Aug 16, 2007, 12:00 PM
    Bluerose
    No matter what you decide there is always the chance that something will go wrong. Going away in your present frame of mind - “if it doesn't work out I can always come back home“ - probably means that at the first sign of trouble you go back home. Staying where you are will leave you with a “What if…. ” for the rest of your life. As for this guy, if there is anything there it will be there whether you are at home or away. Only you can make this decision. So go somewhere quiet and think things through very carefully…. Then commit to a decision.
  • Aug 16, 2007, 01:19 PM
    Dennis777
    Hello.

    Going away to school is so much more then just getting an education. Its meeting new people and having to be on your own. It's a time to play and work at the same time, that's a real life education, learning what happens if you play too much and can't work.

    Life is confusing and the more you can learn about it before your part of it the better you will be. So take the schooling and stay friends with him and see how that goes.

    Good Luck
    Dennis777

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