Ask Me Help Desk - Emotional effects of a physical scar

I have a scar on my hand as a result of an accident as a child. It is only about 1 inch long but has always and still does cause me much embarrassment. How do I cope with these emotional feelings? They are very profound especially if I am being watched when I am doing anything.

I think you need to find out how the scar got there xxx

If it is that much of an issue, you need to see a couselor to try and get used to it. I have my face scared from a accident and my left arm, little kids even mention it. You learn to be happy with yourself.

Yes, if it is a one inch scar that you got years ago, I think there is more that is bothering you than the scar. Very few people actually notice the scar I am sure, but you THINK they do.

So what, we all have slight imperfections, that is one thing that makes us individual, different from everyone else.

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Anon872 disagrees: I feel that my feelings have been made to sound trivial but it's a big problem to me.

Give me a break. You want to talk scars. I have them over both breasts, due to cancer and reconstruction, across my belly from reconstruction, and several on my face for various reasons, not to mention the scars on my knee, elbow, shall I go on. You are talking about a one inch scar... on your hand.

I can assure you that you notice it much more than any other person does. If a scar this small really bothers you so horribly, it might be necessary for you to get counseling to get to the real root of the issue.

I can pretty much guarantee you that not as many people notice it as you think.

It is those scars of the heart that won't heal. A one inch scar is very small. You might learn to appreciate your scar and start thanking God that you did not loose your hand or arm during an accident. Look up pictures on the internet of scars. Then maybe you will see that you really need to take care of an emotional scar and you are just confused. Please talk to a professional. We are not trying to be mean, we are here to help you. God bless you! Count your blessings. I know someone who lost a leg during an accident and her favorite thing was modeling. She had just started. But, after the accident, her life went on, she had children, enjoys sports and music.

It all depends the emotional attachment you have to the scar... and how much control you give it. I have horrible scars on my wrists from where I tried to commit suicide when I was 14... and to me EVERYONE notices them... and to make it worse, I am dark complected, and the scars are really light, making them stand out more. I used to think EVERYONE was looking at my scars and wondering or assuming what happened... I used to tell people I fell through a window... and was paranoid that they knew I was lying. It took a long time for me to deal with the scars and realize they were part of me and when I stopped obsessing about them myself, I think it drew the attention away from them, and eventually I didn't obsess about people noticing them.

I think it would be good to talk to a therapist about it... come to terms with the emotional ties you have to that scar that stare you in the face everyday. You also could consult your doctor about scar removal (cosmetic surgery) if it is really something you wish to get rid of... I talked to my doctor about it because I wanted all these horrible scars to go away, but realized, removing the scars on my body was not going to remove the reason they got there. So the scars are still there, and no one ever asks me about them, but I open up and talk about them with some people, when I know they have noticed them but are just being nice and not asking about them.

People can be mean and nasty about any number of things especially when it is to do with someone's body. It can be hair colour or a birthmark, whatever. Anyone that has been picked on at school for an reason will know that when we have been put down by people we need built back up by people too. Sadly its harder to build than it is to destroy, that's why people do it. I don't really know much about your personal area although I would say look at all your other assets. Think about what you like about yourself try to focus on that. Counciling may well be of use to you, try it is helpful.

I have two small scars on my left hand, but I thank God because I could have lost my hand. However, mine are inside my palm, so nobody notices. My hands do magic in art/music, and I love them with or without scars. If it really bothers you, go see a dermatologist and have it removed with laser or at least diminished. That way you won't have to see it any longer. We are all different, we have different perspectives in the way we view things. It might be a big issue for you, and no big deal for someone else. I respect that. I don't like a scar on my forehead. Today, we can change almost everything about us. Many people surrender to botox, liposuction, facelifts, breast implants... So, my new advice to you is get rid of the scar with laser and use body makeup, which is waterproof. Once I read somewhere that a man went up to God to exchange his cross because it was too heavy and when he saw the ones there, he took back his own, the other crosses were way way bigger than his. You have to choose to accept the scar as part of you or get rid of it.