This could be a novel if I told you all the details but I'll keep it short and to the point. Gil and I have been together for 6 years now. We met when I was 17 and a senior in high school, he was 23. About a year into our relationship he was heavily into Cocaine and he was very physically abusive to me. I was smart enough then to leave and we were apart for about a month. He promised me he would change and he did in fact quit with the drugs. As time went by he was still abusive but not nearly as bad. I became pregnant with my son and that is when the physical abuse stopped completely. Although he is still a very controlling, angry person. My son is now 3 years old and instead of being pushed around and punched, I am just mentally abused. He recently was laid off from his job and has been unemployed for the past 4 months. I started a new career in Real Estate and have proven successful. We were given a townhouse to live in on the site of my condo conversion project under the understanding that I will work and receive free rent. He just sits at home all day long, he will pick up my living room a little bit and then gives me the line about how filthy I am and how he works so hard to keep the house clean. Yet, there is a huge pile of dished in the sink and an even bigger pile of dirty clothes needing to be washed. He doesn't allow me to go anywhere with my friends, he gets angry when I'm outside talking to a friend on the phone. He has even kicked on of my friends out in the middle of the night because it was late and we must be lesbians. He is the most insecure man I know. He goes from pissed off to OK in the matter of seconds and then back to pissed off before I can even realize what's happeneding. I am fed up! I want him out of my life for good! All the belongings in the place are mostly mine. My son's belongings are in my home as well. I have gotten to the point where I despise him. I can't just pack up and leave, that is my place to live and my career relys on it. He is the type of person who will not leave on his own either. I could tell him point blank I don't want to be with you anymore, you need to leave and he will just get angry and threaten me. I am at my wits end! I need to know how to get him to leave. There is a million other things I could tell you about his man that would just disgust you but I have taken up enough of your time already. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Hey there...
Is he liiving at your house?

But either way. My brother recently left his ex g/f. She was controlling and yet she thought she could also get away with hitting him. He had bruises on him day in and day out from her and when he finally called the cops one night they said because she was a female they couldn't do anything.
But anyway what my brother did was while she was gone, I believe at work, he packed up all his stuff... and left.
Didn't tell her where he was going or anything... BE STRONG... you need to be

Hey there,

I think the only option for you is that the next time he leaves the house to go to the store or something (just anywhere) you should lock all the doors and not let him back in and if he gets aggressive just call the cops and then he will believe that is really is over and he won't get a chance to threaten you or physically abuse you in anyway,

But from a male perspective I think it is really surprising how many females out there seem to go for the wrong guys who don't show any respect for you or do anything for you to say the least and all the good guys are wasting away with nobody, it is a concept I will never seem to understand till the day I die!

I hope this has helped you and god bless

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Originally Posted by KaydeeM21

This could be a novel if I told you all the details but I'll keep it short and to the point. Gil and I have been together for 6 years now. We met when I was 17 and a senior in high school, he was 23. About a year into our relationship he was heavily into Cocaine and he was very physically abusive to me. I was smart enough then to leave and we were apart for about a month. He promised me he would change and he did infact quit with the drugs. As time went by he was still abusive but not nearly as bad. I became pregnant with my son and that is when the physical abuse stopped completely. Although he is still a very controlling, angry person. My son is now 3 years old and instead of being pushed around and punched, I am just mentally abused. He recently was laid off from his job and has been unemployed for the past 4 months. I started a new career in Real Estate and have proven successful. We were given a townhouse to live in on the site of my condo conversion project under the understanding that I will work and receive free rent. He just sits at home all day long, he will pick up my living room a little bit and then gives me the line about how filthy I am and how he works so hard to keep the house clean. Yet, there is a huge pile of dished in the sink and an even bigger pile of dirty clothes needing to be washed. He doesnt allow me to go anywhere with my friends, he gets angry when I'm outside talking to a friend on the phone. He has even kicked on of my friends out in the middle of the night because it was late and we must be lesbians. He is the most insecure man I know. He goes from pissed off to ok in the matter of seconds and then back to pissed off before I can even realize what's happeneding. I am fed up! I want him out of my life for good! All the belongings in the place are mostly mine. My son's belongings are in my home as well. I have gotten to the point where I despise him. I can't just pack up and leave, that is my place to live and my career relys on it. He is the type of person who will not leave on his own either. I could tell him point blank I dont want to be with you anymore, you need to leave and he will just get angry and threaten me. I am at my wits end! I need to know how to get him to leave. There is a million other things I could tell you about his man that would just disgust you but I have taken up enough of your time already. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

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Yes he lives at my house. It would be very easy for me to just pack up my stuff and leave but the situation is, that's not possible we live onsite at the condo development I work for. He wouldn't be allowed to live there without me. Plus, all the stuff inside is mine!

Then you can go and talk to an attorney about this or talk to your sheriff's office or police department. You need to put your request for him to move out in writing. Giving him the deadline. Send it certified mail - he has to sign for it and you get the receipt. If he comes home and is violent, you call 911. Have him removed and do not let him back in. When he comes back to retrieve his possessions, make sure there is a deputy sheriff or police officer there for two reasonsL 1. as a witness 2. for protection. You do not want to give this guy any other chance or reason to come back. For example, that he forgot something he owned and wants it back.

Do not allow yourself to keep being his victim. He is relying on that to keep him in his lifestyle. There are plenty of resources out there for you to access - do it and do not look back. But before you make any move, get your ducks in a row on this. Have a legal plan of action. Know what you can and cannot do, what you can say and expect. That is why I suggest seeing an attorney and law enfocement. If there is an abused women's resource center type of place there, contact them! Today!

You might have to consider a restraining order or a protection order. Child visitation at a neutral place, supervised child visitation. As I would not trust this guy with anyone. He could well use your son as some kind of bargaining chip to get back with you. Or run off with your son. Start learning how to protect yourself and your son. Quit being the victim. It is not easy, but you can do it. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by KaydeeM21

This could be a novel if I told you all the details but I'll keep it short and to the point. Gil and I have been together for 6 years now. We met when I was 17 and a senior in high school, he was 23. About a year into our relationship he was heavily into Cocaine and he was very physically abusive to me. I was smart enough then to leave and we were apart for about a month. He promised me he would change and he did infact quit with the drugs. As time went by he was still abusive but not nearly as bad. I became pregnant with my son and that is when the physical abuse stopped completely. Although he is still a very controlling, angry person. My son is now 3 years old and instead of being pushed around and punched, I am just mentally abused. He recently was laid off from his job and has been unemployed for the past 4 months. I started a new career in Real Estate and have proven successful. We were given a townhouse to live in on the site of my condo conversion project under the understanding that I will work and receive free rent. He just sits at home all day long, he will pick up my living room a little bit and then gives me the line about how filthy I am and how he works so hard to keep the house clean. Yet, there is a huge pile of dished in the sink and an even bigger pile of dirty clothes needing to be washed. He doesnt allow me to go anywhere with my friends, he gets angry when I'm outside talking to a friend on the phone. He has even kicked on of my friends out in the middle of the night because it was late and we must be lesbians. He is the most insecure man I know. He goes from pissed off to ok in the matter of seconds and then back to pissed off before I can even realize what's happeneding. I am fed up! I want him out of my life for good! All the belongings in the place are mostly mine. My son's belongings are in my home as well. I have gotten to the point where I despise him. I can't just pack up and leave, that is my place to live and my career relys on it. He is the type of person who will not leave on his own either. I could tell him point blank I dont want to be with you anymore, you need to leave and he will just get angry and threaten me. I am at my wits end! I need to know how to get him to leave. There is a million other things I could tell you about his man that would just disgust you but I have taken up enough of your time already. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

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I assume you are not married to this bum. If not that is a real blessing. You need to get rid of him and away from him right away. My sister had a similar situation. She was abused for 12 years and nobody knew until I put the bum in the hospital. He will never change until he brings your situation to a tragic end. End it now, and call the police and get a restraining order if he continues to give you trouble. And trust Jesus to change your life, not his life, and choose your friends wisely.