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-   -   Over Protective Parents (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=118397)

  • Aug 10, 2007, 01:27 PM
    Guitarist94
    Over Protective Parents
    My parents never listen to me or what I have to say. When I want to hang out or go to the mall with my friends its no. Pretty much everything is no. Meanwhile I'm a good kid and have grades over 90. Whenever I tell my parents you don't listen to me they don't seem to care. When will they give me freedom and start hearing what I have to say?
  • Aug 10, 2007, 01:37 PM
    nauticalstar420
    Parents think of overprotection as a way of showing you they love you. They don't want you to get in trouble, get hurt, etc. If you want a little more freedom, just sit them down and have a talk with them. Explain to them that you have friends you would like to hang out with sometimes, and you have a social life. Its not uncommon for a teenager to want to hang out with his friends.

    How old are you? If you're 13 or below I can understand where they are coming from, but if you are a "higher up" teen then I don't see the problem.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 01:38 PM
    jrb252000
    When my mom used to tell that to me I would give her the whole this is where I am going, this is who I will be hanging out with and this is the time I will be home. Maybe try to approach your parents when they are in a relax mood, sometimes if you catch them at a bad time everything is no.
    Do you all spend quality time together at all?
    In the meantime great job on your grades and if they won't give you freedom it will be coming soon enough.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 01:39 PM
    kanicky73
    I agree Nauticalstar we need to know how old this person is. Also I think there are a lot more variables here. What kind of neighborhood do you live in. Have you disobeyed your parents in the past giving them reason not to trust you this time around? Did you recently get into some kind of trouble? We need to know the whole story, there has to be something here.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 01:47 PM
    GlindaofOz
    I'm guessing since he's Guitar94 that he's 13?

    If that's the case I could understand your parents not wanting you to hang out unsupervised. It may even be that your parents trust you but don't trust the situations that may be presented to you.

    When I was a teenager I wasn't allowed to go to the mall with my friends until I was in high school. At 13-14 I was really only allowed to go hang out with my friends at their houses. I never thought it was strict but I always told my mom where I was going who was there what we were going to be doing.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 01:48 PM
    Guitarist94
    Yeah I am 13
  • Aug 10, 2007, 01:52 PM
    kanicky73
    Then I completely understand your parents reasoning behind your limits. You need to be patient sweety, before you know it you will be 18 and can do whatever it is your little heart desires.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 01:55 PM
    nauticalstar420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
    I'm guessing since he's Guitar94 that he's 13?

    If thats the case i could understand your parents not wanting you to hang out unsupervised. It may even be that your parents trust you but don't trust the situations that may be presented to you.

    When I was a teenager I wasn't allowed to go to the mall with my friends until i was in high school. At 13-14 I was really only allowed to go hang out with my friends at their houses. I never thought it was strict but I always told my mom where I was going who was there what we were going to be doing.

    I agree with Glinda. 13 is a bit young to go out without an adult. They just want you to be safe and trouble free. I know you are unhappy with them for this, but you also have to understand where they are coming from. They care about you and don't want anything bad to happen.

    My mother always told me if I wanted to go out with friends without an adult I had to prove I was responsible. Apparently, that wasn't proven until I was 16 :p
  • Aug 10, 2007, 01:55 PM
    jrb252000
    You can still try at least going to a friends house... let your parents know you will give them a phone number they can reach you with. It will help build up the trust. If they still say no I wouldn't push the issue just wait in no time you will be able to spread your wings.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 01:56 PM
    GlindaofOz
    Yup I was pretty restricted in where I could go and how late but I proved to my mom all those years that I could be trusted to be where I said I would be and be home by curfew so by the time I was in my junior year of high school my rules were really relaxed. By summer I didn't have a curfew and my mom completely trusted me. Give it time. They'll come around :)
  • Aug 10, 2007, 02:18 PM
    Punkergurl13
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Guitarist94
    My parents never listen to me or what I have to say. When I want to hang out or go to the mall with my friends its no. Pretty much everything is no. Meanwhile I'm a good kid and have grades over 90. Whenever i tell my parents you don't listen to me they don't seem to care. When will they give me freedom and start hearing what I have to say?

    Hey I used to have the same impression. What did I do? I went to my parents and said I would really like to have a little bit of responsibility to be able to do this. When parents don't THINK that you are responsible they tend to get a little "touchy" when it comes to giving you space. So... help around the house more and show that you care say "yes mom!!" or "yes dad!" instead of " ugh.. why do i have to....?" TRUST ME THEY WILL NOTICE AND IT WILL BE ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THEY FINALLY SAY O.K.!
  • Aug 10, 2007, 03:24 PM
    Young-Love
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Guitarist94
    My parents never listen to me or what I have to say. When I want to hang out or go to the mall with my friends its no. Pretty much everything is no. Meanwhile I'm a good kid and have grades over 90. Whenever i tell my parents you don't listen to me they don't seem to care. When will they give me freedom and start hearing what I have to say?

    Your parents in your eyes may be over protective, but really if you think about it they are not. Are you asking your parents at inconvenient times? Is one thing you may want to think about. Also I'm not sure of how old you are buttt That could have something to do with it I know my parents didn't let me go to the mall until I was 15 with out a parent... when I was 'old enough' in their opinion to take the bus or call a cab
  • Aug 10, 2007, 05:56 PM
    Guitarist94
    Its just that all of my friends are with me if anything. And they won't even let me take a babysitting class! They said I don't believe your ready
  • Aug 10, 2007, 05:58 PM
    Guitarist94
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kanicky73
    I agree Nauticalstar we need to know how old this person is. Also I think there are a lot more variables here. What kind of neighborhood do you live in. Have you disobeyed your parents in the past giving them reason not to trust you this time around? Did you recently get into some kind of trouble? We need to know the whole story, there has to be something here.


    Nope. Nothing goes on. I live in a safe area and my friends are close to me. Whenever I get asked to go outside or anything by myself its no.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 06:30 PM
    GlindaofOz
    It will come with time. You are 13 and I know how frustrating it is to want to express yourself and be able to do what you want. Right now your parents are just trying to do what's best for you (which I know you don't want to hear and you're totally rolling your eyes, right?)

    As the rest of us old-timers have pointed out it all comes in time. Honestly, if I had a 13 year old I wouldn't let them out on their own with just their friends. That sort of thing can come when they are older. Before you know it you will be 16 and have more freedoms then you can think of. There is plenty of life in front of you don't stress it too much
  • Aug 10, 2007, 06:31 PM
    GoldieMae
    I think 13 is a very hard year. Parents are afraid to give up their little baby, and teens want to be treated a little more grown up.

    I agree with the poster. Start taking on extra responsibility. Your parents will begin to notice that you are maturing into a fine young lady (I presume you are a girl because you want to take babysitting classes). That's the first step.

    I wasn't allowed to go out without a parent or an adult relative when I was 13. I hated it. But I guarantee you will be 14 before you know it, and things will be different. You really need to know that they love you and are just worried for your safety. Even in the safest neighborhoods, things can happen. Now that I'm a mom, I totally get it, even though I hated it when I was your age.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 06:52 PM
    nicespringgirl
    Always be honest with your parents.

    P.S. You have grade above 90 that's very good. I remember my parents required me to have 100 at age of 13.LOL
  • Aug 10, 2007, 06:57 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Guitarist94
    They said I don't believe your ready

    Pretend you are your parents, or at least get inside their skin for a minute. Why do they think you're not ready?

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