My daughter's "sperm donor" and I broke up when I was 3 months pregnant. She just turned 5 in July. He has never seen her, or even a picture of her for that matter, has never called to see how she was doing, has never paid child support, has never bought her anything. His name is not on the birth certificate. My fiancé wants to adopt her. He is the only father she knows. Can he adopt her without sperm donor's consent? Can I just put his name on the birth certificate and change her name? Would that make it legal? If he came back into the picture in like 10 years and said that he was her father, what would happen? Would they have to do a paternity test? I want to make sure he can never have anything to do with my daughter. I know that sounds horrible but I believe it is in my daughter's best interest. He has 3 other children that, the last I heard from numerous mutual friends, he has nothing to do with also. I'm scared that if it went to court that I would have to let him see her. I know that the chances of that are slim unless they were supervised, but I don't want my daughter to be around him.

If your fiancé petititons the court to adopt (after you are married), then the court is going to ask you if you know who the father is. You will then have to testify to that under oath. At that point the court will require that you get his permission for the adoption.

The best way to make sure he can't have anything to do with your daughter is to get him to relinquish his rights. Changing the birth certificate would be illegal.

First have you ever went to court and got full custody of the child, have you a court ordered child support order in place, while of course the father has a obligation, if you did not get a court order and follow up, honestly you are not trying to get the money either.

But no you can not just list new boyfriend on birth cerrtificate, and yes you have to get the bio fathers permission

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

First have you ever went to court and got full custody of the child, have you a court ordered child support order in place, while of course the father has a obligation, if you did not get a court order and follow up, honestly you are not trying to get the money either.

But no you can not just list new boyfriend on birth cerrtificate, and yes you have to get the bio fathers permission

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I disagree.
In Pennsylvania the biofather CANNOT assert his right alone 5 years after child was born.
There is more than enough the fiancé to sign Paternity acknoledgment/ I do not say it is fair/ and after that he will be irrebutable legal father notwithstanding the absent of genetical link to the child.But your fiancé has to know that if you break up he will be responsible for paying child support.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Changing the birth certificate would be illegal.

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Not changing the birth certificate,signing of Paternity Acknowledgment.
Unfair but not illegal.

Pennsylvania Consolidated Statutes
DOMESTIC RELATIONS CHAPTER 51
§ 5102. Children declared to be legitimate.
a) General rule.--All children shall be legitimate irrespective of the marital status of their parents, and, in every case where children are born out of wedlock, they shall enjoy all the rights and privileges as if they had been born during the wedlock of their parents except as otherwise provided in Title 20 (relating to decedents, estates and fiduciaries).

(b) Determination of paternity.--For purposes of prescribing benefits to children born out of wedlock by, from and through the father, paternity shall be determined by any one of the following ways:


If the parents of a child born out of wedlock have married each other.
If, during the lifetime of the child, it is determined by clear and convincing evidence that the father openly holds out the child to be his and either receives the child into his home or provides support for the child.
If there is clear and convincing evidence that the man was the father of the child, which may include a prior court determination of paternity.
5103. Acknowledgment and claim of paternity
a) Acknowledgment of paternity.--The father of a child born to an unmarried woman may file with the Department of Public Welfare, on forms prescribed by subsection (c), an acknowledgment of paternity of the child which shall include the consent of the mother of the child, supported by her affidavit. In such case, the father shall have all the rights and duties as to the child which he would have had if he had been married to the mother at the time of the birth of the child, and the child shall have all the rights and duties as to the father which the child would have had if the father had been married to the mother at the time of birth.
d) Conclusive evidence.--An acknowledgment of paternity shall constitute conclusive evidence of paternity in any action to establish support. An acknowledgment of paternity may be set aside by the court only upon clear and convincing evidence that the defendant was unaware of the fact that he was acknowledging paternity when the acknowledgment was signed.

Thanks GV, interesting. So, a bio father can be shut out simply because another man has acknowledged paternity WITH the consent of the mother.

I'm curious, is there a time frame in which the mother's choice has to acknowledge paternity? Also, is this typical of other states?

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Thanks GV, interesting. So, a bio father can be shut out simply because another man has acknowledged paternity WITH the consent of the mother.

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Not exactly.The biological father has to play from the birth to 2 years after the child was born.It is DEADLINE when paternity was established by marriage or acknowledgment.

Scott, the paternity questions incl. biofathers v. marital/acknowledged,adjudicated and etc./ fathers are solved in three ways and all depend on the states law.In Alabama,California,Florida,Georgia,Iowa,Michigan,O klahoma,Pennsylvania,Texas,Kentucky
And Wisconsin it is impossible to the biofather to assert his rights if a child was born
And live in intact family and the mother and the marital /acknowledged/father resist to his claims.Other
States adopted UPA/ the Uniform Parentage Act/ with some differences.The UPA allows
Biofathers to assert their rights but there is statutes of limitation - usually from 1 to
5 years after child was born.It has cognisize in Arkansas,Colorado,Illinois,Minnesota,New
Jersey,New York,Washington , Massachusets, and etc.and some of these states have to weight
Presumptions where two competing / marital and biological / fathers are and the best
Interest of child controls these presumptions.
The third part of states are adopted the biological imperative.If the biological father is
Proven he stays as a biological and also as a legal father without matter when,where and
Why he asserted his rights and without the marital status of the mother also without to
Allow the husband to have an opportunity to defend the marital presumption.These states
Are Connecticut,Indiana,Maine,Mississippi,Ohio.In these states the biological father can
Assert his right any time,

Very informative. I thought things had swung more towards the bio parents rights. These days with many divorces and remarriages and step siblings and half siblings this whole paternity thing can get really muddled.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

if you did not get a court order and follow up, honestly you are not trying to get the money either.

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No I haven't gotten anything court ordered because I don't want his forced, drug money. I have the help of my parents which I lucked out with. Could I have gone to court, yes, but I chose not to. If he wanted to be here he would have been. No one forced him to leave. We broke up because he cheated on me yet again like he did throughout our 3 year relationship and I had had enough. I was pregnant with his child and if he didn't want to be there for me than fine. He walked away from his child. He had the choice to call or come around. He was in my neighborhood hanging out with friends and had his friends drive by my house. But not once did they or him care enough to stop and ask how is daughter, who by the way was born at 26.6 weeks gestation, was doing. So no I didn't try to get money either.

Yes-this whole paternity thing is really muddled.The truth is over there...
In my opinion bio parents rights were on the increase when welfare reform began... The goal is clear-much money to be collected and the easiest way to do it is to hook biofathers to pay.Also there is a federal requirement for receiving federal funds and it is 90% of paternities to be established.This was the answer of the government about the continuously growing number of single mothers on welfare.It imposed a narrow definition of fatherhood based on biology.This was the ground for many legislations to impose the fatherhood based on biology and to define in economic terms all parental functions.I think it was not done for the rights of the biological parents-it was done for the goals of welfare.After that some of the legislators and judges changed their mind. They understood that if it all was imposed on biology it would destroy the state’s interests in collecting child support, protecting children and preserving families . A lot of men will be willing to disestablish their paternity and if courts allow them to do it-it will result in states child support decreasing. And... the conception about “social” or “functional” fatherhood was born!/some researches show that from 10 to 30 % of the children born to married women are not their husbands' children. The men's rights activists call it Paternity fraud,the feminists call it Paternity discrepancy.I like to say nothing about this moral colaps/
And finally/ Lehr v. Robinson-463 U.S. 248 (1983)No. 81-1756,the Supreme Court found that states can impose a time limitation for putative fathers to establish a relationship with their nonmarital children.