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-   -   Is he flirting or just being friendly? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=118306)

  • Aug 10, 2007, 07:59 AM
    mydogquestion
    Is he flirting or just being friendly?
    I had car trouble and had to call a local garage for help. When the help arrived he got things fixed was friendly and charged me way less than expected. Skip ahead I needed help again same man came to help , fixed the car for the time told me to bring it in next day for repair. He did not charge me for this trip at all. Went for repair and had to go back two days later with a flat. He personally fixed the tire and change it for no charge.I joked they they would be betting on how soon I would be back ( as I seemed to have a spurt of car trouble) His response was soon I hope.

    About two weeks passed and went back for an electrical problem. While I was getting it fixed he shows up and askss if I had another flat tire? I said no I was being more careful about seeing what was in the driveway at home. He then said he could come by and drop nails in my drive ! I smiled and said as long as he change the tire that was OK.

    Is he interested or just being friendly? The only place we cross paths is at his work. I'm out of practice with dating (Divorced ten months ago) .Also way scared of rejection.

    Also have no reason to stop in his plaace of work .Any ideas.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 08:03 AM
    GoldieMae
    Clear flirting on his part. Find out if he's married first, but maybe next time your car hits a nail, you can ask him for coffee.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 08:07 AM
    Chery
    This is a good place to ask questions, that's what we are here for, but you should be asking him is he is 'flirting or just being friendly'

    If you need a reason to approach him, bake a cake, take it to his workplace and use that as an excuse. Say you want to thank him for all the help in the past and see what happens. If he shares that cake with you over coffee, you are pretty safe in asking him straight out.

    Good luck, and keep us posted.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif
  • Aug 10, 2007, 08:15 AM
    mydogquestion
    Thanks the place he works is pretty small and there are a bunch of guys around .I don't want to embarrass him or myself in such on open space. Maybe if he was alone but not in front of his co-workers!
  • Aug 10, 2007, 08:21 AM
    kanicky73
    I thought in the beginning he was just a guy who really enjoys helping people. But then you said he said he hopes you come back soon and that he could drop nails in your driveway. Those are clear signs of flirting. If he didn't care if he saw you again he wouldn't have thrown those out there. I am pretty bold when I see something that I want, so personally for me I would call there and ask for him. That is if you know his name. When you get him on the phone, just say you know I haven't been having any car troubles in a while and couldn't find any other reason to come in there so I figured I would call and see if you have any plans for this Saturday. And see what he says, if he is married or with someone hopefully he will do the right thing and tell you so and then shame on him for flirting like that. If he is interested he will be pleasantly surprised by your assertiveness and most likely will agree. Guys like it when a woman makes the first move, right guys?
  • Aug 10, 2007, 08:22 AM
    Chery
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mydogquestion
    Thanks the place he works is pretty small and there are a bunch of guys around .I don't want to embarass him or myself in such on open space. Maybe if he was alone but not in front of his co-workers!

    Well, you could try a Thank You Note with invitation to coffee shop nearby. If he accepts, then good, if not, then you still know where you stand. Either way, you need clarification or you will have him on your mind too much to be able to concentrate.

    Get clarity, and again good luck.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_1_24.gifIt's not good to be stranded anywhere, so set your goal and go for it.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 08:30 AM
    mydogquestion
    I do know his name. So I guess making the phone call is probably the way to go if I get rejected I will have to find a new gararge. But I kind of felt some interest .

    Any guys with a response.I need some bolstering before I make a call.Thanks
  • Aug 10, 2007, 08:43 AM
    kp2171
    Rejection sucks, sure.

    Well... comes with the territory. You need to get past that, or at least shove it in the hall closet and deal with it later.

    He absolutely was flirting and is interested. Is he available? Interested in a relationship? Interested in flirting? Don't know.

    But I'm guessing you are highly likely to get a good response if you take a swing. He's said enough to let you know he likes flirting with you. Next move is up to you.

    Send a thank you note for the great service and all the help. He deserves this regardless of whether he's flirting or not... send it to him specifically. Say thanks and throw in "i'll be glad when i see you and am not having car troubles"... sign with your name and throw in your phone number.

    Id be absolutely shocked if he didn't follow up.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 08:45 AM
    kp2171
    By the way, I've been more direct before, but I've also taken his approach when interested in a woman I wasn't sure was interested in me...

    Casual, light interest shown. The prospect of crossing paths again thrown out there.

    He's interested. At worst he's a habitual flirt. Give him a change to prove otherwise. And just enjoy the attention.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 02:14 PM
    s_cianci
    Sounds like he may be interested. With all of the work he's done on your car, he probably has your address and/or phone number. He may contact you. If not, stop by his shop one afternoon. When he asks what's wrong with your car, say "Nothing. I just though I could buy you a cup of coffee after work since you've been so kind in helping me with my car." That ought to ge the ball rolling.
  • Aug 14, 2007, 09:05 AM
    pasiria
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kanicky73
    I thought in the beginning he was just a guy who really enjoys helping people. But then you said he said he hopes you come back soon and that he could drop nails in your driveway. Those are clear signs of flirting. If he didnt care if he saw you again he wouldnt have thrown those out there. I am pretty bold when I see something that I want, so personally for me I would call there and ask for him. That is if you know his name. When you get him on the phone, just say you know I havent been having any car troubles in a while and couldnt find any other reason to come in there so I figured I would call and see if you have any plans for this Saturday. And see what he says, if he is married or with someone hopefully he will do the right thing and tell you so and then shame on him for flirting like that. If he is interested he will be pleasantly surprised by your assertiveness and most likely will agree. Guys like it when a woman makes the first move, right guys?

    I would do exactly the same thing. He is flirting. Invite him out with the excuse that you want to return the favor with dinner or coffee. Then take it from there. Good luck.
  • Aug 14, 2007, 09:40 AM
    GlindaofOz
    I had a similar situation with my mechanic. I had a very bad car and was in there pretty much every week. We would flirt and chat and I was never really sure if he was being friendly or if he was interested. So one time I brought my clunker in he told me to come into the shop so he could show me what was going on. He began to flirt with my shamelessly and I said to him "You know if this keeps up people will start to talk" and he goes "Oh yeah what about" and I said to him "Oh mostly how you're too much of a chicken to ask the pretty girl for her number".

    It was unusually slick for me but it worked. We dated for about 6 months. Just be forward you never know.
  • Aug 14, 2007, 09:46 AM
    BMI
    He's flirting,

    Use the work as a flirt too and see how that flies, make it obvious, go in with a small problem or something, he's probably wondering the same thing as you, if you make it obvious he will act.

    Ah men, we are too easy:)
  • Aug 14, 2007, 07:58 PM
    mydogquestion
    Well I have to go back next week so I am going to be bold . I'm not sure what I will say do not want to sound to rehearsed. Maybe an offer to take him to lunch.! I will let you know the result. Thanks for the input. Hope this works.
  • Aug 14, 2007, 09:46 PM
    kp2171
    Yea!!

    Glad to hear you are stepping up.

    He's absolutely flirting. Play back a little and see if he's all talk. Schedule a dropoff around lunchtime. Ask him if there's a good place around for lunch. When he has suggestions, thank him for the ideas and tell him you're ready to go when he's ready to join you.

    You never know... timing might be off... sometimes you can't just up and go... if he says he cant, just tell him you'll wait to go there until he decides he's free.

    You know, as much as I want this to go well, its not about that as much as its about taking the leap. Not easy. No fun to face rejection. Well... you can talk about life or live it. Glad to know you are willing to take that first step again.
  • Aug 15, 2007, 09:53 AM
    kanicky73
    Go get him girl!!
  • Aug 15, 2007, 09:55 AM
    GlindaofOz
    You will have to let us know how it goes! Good luck :)

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