Ask Me Help Desk - Silent dates?

Silent dates?

I'm kind of anti social... I'm just really shy and don't trust very quickly, and I'm not easy like some girls... there are some guys that are intersted in me and I like them... the problem?. I can't talk to them... and if I do, we talk about something boring and I try desperately to keep the conversation going... I can talk pretty easy to them on myspace or texting but I can't talk on the phone or in person... any tips for how I can actually talk to these guys?? :)

Just relax. If you're able to carry on conversations other ways then you'll definitely be able to do it in person. Just be yourself. Obviously the guys are interested in you, so just be confident in that. If you don't feel comfortable doing a lot of talking, then ask open-ended questions, or ask things about him. You'll be fine. =o)

Quote:

Originally Posted by AliMarGoo

Just relax. If you're able to carry on conversations other ways then you'll definitely be able to do it in person. Just be yourself. Obviously the guys are interested in you, so just be confident in that. If you don't feel comfortable doing a lot of talking, then ask open-ended questions, or ask things about him. You'll be fine. =o)

OK... but I get really nervous sometimes and I can't think of anything to say...

Don't think of what you are going to say. Just say whatever comes to your mind. You can't think and plan out a conversation. Just let it go the way it happens.

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Originally Posted by sweetblood_15

ok...but i get really nervous sometimes and i can't think of anything to say...

Silence is OKAY. Just like a job interview, its sometimes better to let a few moments of silence pass rather than continuing to talk about something you'd rather not. And don't forget, first, second, even 14th dates can still be awkward so no one will judge you because you're a little nervous. He's probably nervous too!

If it helps, look at a persons eyebrows. It appears to them that you're making eye contact, but it may help you look more confident than you really feel. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by LearningAsIGo

Silence is OKAY. Just like a job interview, its sometimes better to let a few moments of silence pass rather than continuing to talk about something you'd rather not. And don't forget, first, second, even 14th dates can still be awkward so no one will judge you because you're a little nervous. He's probably nervous too!

If it helps, look at a persons eyebrows. It appears to them that you're making eye contact, but it may help you look more confident than you really feel. :)

OK... I have been getting a little warmed up to them and being social... just certain people make me nervous... I really don't get it... this one guy I liked, I kept talking to him and gave him a hug the first night I met him, later I was so shocked at myself, now that same guy is best friends with my brother and he calls me his little sister :( oh well... I'll try looking at them or, into their eyebrows :D I just hope it's not too awkward...

I'm going to have to disagree with LearningAsIGo; I'd give a "disagree" rep but I'm too lazy to click the button. Silence isn't okay all the time... there are a few moments when they are, but for the most part it just isn't.

Thankfully, I've been lucky enough to date girls who have the gift of gab (actually, it's more like they won't shut the hell up... ). One girl I was in a long distance relationship with, though, was very quiet and didn't talk much, and so I broke it off.

Anyway, you should try and convince yourself that guys are human beings, just like you. Think of them as breastless girls. Unless he's fat, then he probably does have breasts, in which case you should think of him as a girl who probably won't look so good in a miniskirt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by huno

I'm gonna have to disagree with LearningAsIGo; I'd give a "disagree" rep but I'm too lazy to click the button. Silence isn't okay all the time... there are a few moments when they are, but for the most part it just isn't.

Thankfully, I've been lucky enough to date girls who have the gift of gab (actually, it's more like they won't shut the hell up...). One girl I was in a long distance relationship with, though, was very quiet and didn't talk much, and so I broke it off.

Anyway, you should try and convince yourself that guys are human beings, just like you. Think of them as breastless girls. Unless he's fat, then he probably does have breasts, in which case you should think of him as a girl who probably won't look so good in a miniskirt.

Lmfao... no, he's skinny... he called me last night and I had lost my phone so I couldn't pick it up for him, but I'm too scared to call him back... :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetblood_15

Lmfao...no, he's skinny....he called me last night and i had lost my phone so i couldn't pick it up for him, but i'm too scared to call him back...:(

Scared? Please, don't be such a girl. :D Just call him. I can practically guarantee you he's sitting at home, worried that you didn't pick up the phone because you don't want to talk to him any more. Every minute that goes by just makes it worse for him.

So call him; let's go, let's go!

--huno

P.S.: why are you still reading this? GO!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetblood_15

Lmfao...no, he's skinny....he called me last night and i had lost my phone so i couldn't pick it up for him, but i'm too scared to call him back...:(

Then how do you know he called you if YOU HAD LOST YOUR PHONE? :rolleyes:

Don't make things complicated.

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Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

Then how do you know he called you if YOU HAD LOST YOUR PHONE?!:rolleyes:

Don't make things complicated.

Apparently it wasn't where she could get to it conveniently and quickly enough. I frequently lose mine in my purse.

I hope you took Huno's advice!! Hope things went well. Just be yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

Then how do you know he called you if YOU HAD LOST YOUR PHONE?!:rolleyes:

Don't make things complicated.

Because I had lost it for that night in my friends car... my friends dropped it off sometime early morning the next day and I checked my missed calls and there was his number... doesn't sound that complicated to me...

Quote:

Originally Posted by huno

Scared? Please, don't be such a girl. :D Just call him. I can practically guarantee you he's sitting at home, worried that you didn't pick up the phone because you don't want to talk to him any more. Every minute that goes by just makes it worse for him.

So call him; let's go, let's go!

--huno

P.S.: why are you still reading this? GO!

Lmao... yea... my friend and I called him the other day... except he didn't answer... so I was like OK... whatever, then the next day when I was all by myself at 10:30 or something at night... he called... I thought it was my friend so I picked up right away, and then I noticed it was him... oops... :o anyway... he asked who it was, so I told him, but I don't think he actually remembered me and I don't think he really likes me either... my friend says he does and that's why he was hanging out with me... but then again I think he was only being nice and only did it because she told him that I wanted to, when of course, I was really too scared to even look at him and felt very uncomfortable because about an hour earlier me and my ex were fighting on the phone and he actually heard some of it... oh well...