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-   -   I am very confuse about my feelings towards two person (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=117950)

  • Aug 9, 2007, 05:10 AM
    simplehoney
    I am very confuse about my feelings towards two person


    I am working abroad and I have a boyfriend back in my home country. After a few months stay in abroad I met another guy and fell in love with this guy and loving the other guy at the other side of the world. I am feeling guilty for keeping two relationship. I feel more guilty with the first guy since we've been on for almost six years now and he is expecting me. He wanted to settle down and get married with me and he ask me to go home. But that is not what I want, I am still enjoying my single life and don't want to get married yet, I don't want to go home yet and wanted to build my career to where I am now and obvious reason too I cannot leave the guy I am with right now. What can you advice me and comment on my situation. Now, I don't know what to do.
  • Aug 9, 2007, 06:05 AM
    tkdgal
    Having a friendly attraction to someone outside your love life is acceptable, but considering to throw away six years of what sounds like a satisfying relationship may be a mistake. It is important that you continue doing with your life what you want to do, but it is also your responsibility as a faithful girlfriend to tell your boyfriend what you feel at the moment. Remember, you just met this guy abroad, and you don't know much about him. Forming a more serious relationship with him would mean (if you want to take the mature action) breaking up with your current boyfriend. How would you see yourself in the future if you did this? If you boyfriend truly loves you, he will accept your wish to postpone the marriage for awhile, and let you do what makes you happy. My advice is to tone down your relationship with the new guy abroad and make things clear to him that you already have a boyfriend. Think things through before you make any drastic actions - sometimes you don't get a second chance. Good luck!
  • Aug 9, 2007, 07:35 AM
    GlindaofOz
    I would imagine if the relationship was really everything you wanted you would not have strayed. This should be a big wake up call to you. People who are happy in their relationships do not stray. It sounds as if you are desiring some freedom and independence, actually it sounds as if you are starving for it. If you want to focus on yourself you are fully entitled to do so. If you are enjoying this new relationship then you need to figure out what to do about the guy back home. However, I think you really need to think about what you really need.

    I wish you luck.
  • Aug 9, 2007, 08:04 AM
    talaniman
    Be honest with yourself as it only natural to have needs, and be far away to the one you have committed to. You must make a choice and be honest with them both. I suggest with the current state of your career you give the b/f at home a chance at his own happiness. That frees you to enjoy yourself where your at, with no guilt and confusion.
  • Aug 9, 2007, 10:37 AM
    s_cianci
    You need to bo honest and straight-up with #1 and tell him everything you've told us here. It may and probably will hurt some but that doesn't excuse you from doing what needs to be done. It's the only fair thing to do.

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