dil is alienating all of our family and we want to love her
I have never done this before but I am just so upset and it seems there are no answers. So I thought someone one out there may help.
My husband and I have been married 5 yrs. He was divorced after 20+ years and raised 2 sons. I was widowed after 30+ years and raised 4 sons. He had been divorced a few years prior to us meeting. His oldest son is a graduate of the US Navel Academy and a very bright young man. He married after the academy to a local girl he had known in High School. He was in the Navy when I married his father. All of our children his and mine were raised in a Christian home with family values and all were grown graduated and living on their own prior to both or our previous marriages.
The problem is with my husband’s oldest son and his wife. They got out of the Navy a couple years ago and are now living a few miles from us. They have 2 adorable children a boy and a girl both under 5. His daughter-in-law was raised in a strict Christian home and her father is a pastor where they go to church. The problem is that after they moved back from the Navy she does not want anything to do with any of my husband’s side of the family. It started by her saying she did not want to be hugged or touched by my husband because she was not comfortable. That was fine with us, everything was good. Some people just are not comfortable with that we understood. But then his son called him and said she just did not want anything to do with us al all. She told her husband that his father tried to kiss her on the lips prior to all this. It happened at his grandson’s baptism at their church. They had then just returned from the Navy to our area and he was excited to see them and to be part of this wonderful event. This all was bad enough and it has went on for over a year now. They live less than 10 miles from us and we pass each others home almost daily, we sill have not seen them or the kids. We really want to love her and believe she needs some mental help and no one seems to realize that.
Now tonight my husband received a call from his youngest son who is taking care of his mother. He said that tonight his brother called him and said that his wife now has a problem with his mom and they will not be seeing them either! They live over 100 miles away form each other and have not seen them in months either. But my point is she is systematically alienating all of his family from their lives. She is a Christian as are we all but this is just nuts. My husband and his x wife as well as his other son and myself are all hurting so much. I really do not know what to do. My husband has tried to talk with her father (a pastor), but gets no response. Please does anyone out there have a suggestion other than just letting this happen? We just want a loving family and to contribute to the grandchildrens lives. My husbands family has lots to give and are good people! HELP!