Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend wants a break, what can I do to get her back

Hi my name is Andrew,

Im 27 years old and have been dating my girlfrien for 3 years and 4 months. Our relationship has been great and we have never had an argument. I am a very laid back guy and am pretty easy. I don't let many things bother me and always keep things fun an entertaining. I work full time and spend some time with my girlfriend she will normally come over 3 or 4 nights a week. I live on my own and she lives with her grandma. I also enjoy spending time with friends and I am not a clngy person but have put a bit more time into my girlfriend lately but not over the top.

My girlfriend is 22 years old and she is a full time student in her last year of University doing a five year course. She is vey attractive and I know this and get told it a lot which doesn't help but I have never put her on a pedatal as I do know this is the wrong thing to do I treat her great but never let her walk on me. I give her occasional comments on how great she's looing and buy her some presents and we have sex pretty much every time we see each other which is amazing. She is very honest and always have been, I know she will not be cheating and does not want his break for another guy.

In the last few days everything has been absolutely fine. We went shopping on the weekend and when I dropped heroff she sent me a text saying " I wish i was staying at your place for a cuddle. Then the next day she invited out and we went shopping. Then she rings me yesterday to come over to her grandmas for lunch. So i go everything is fine, we then go for a walk and then she had to go to her job so we kissed and i went home.

She then came by my house last night and came in and said "I think we should have a break" I said "WHY" She said" I need to work o myself and be more independent my whole life is with you and I don't think that is healthy. So I said" Well we can still be together and you can work on yourself at the same time". Then she said " I just want to know that i will be on my own and be ok. She said yourve done nothing wrong and now yourve lost your girlfriend but i have to do whats right for me. She then said " Im so confudsed"

She then said " I love you but don't know if its enough forever" She then said (WHILE CRYING AND HUGGING ME" I won't string you along I promise. I said " I can't just wait around for you, I want to give you time but i can't just sit here that is not fair for me. She then said "We've been out for three years and we should be planning a holiday at the end of the year, but I don't know if that's what I want and after 3 years I should no by now if you're the one that I want and what's that saying because I'm not sure" She said " I shold just know by now" " But I don't" She then said " No you shouldn't wait you can go out and do what you like you shouldn't wait for me"

I then said well you used to know what you want a year ago and she said " Well I new what I wanted then but I'm not sure now and what if Im making a big mistake,I know you're a great boyfriend and I love spending time with you but that's not all its about" I said to her but where did this come from you just decide this now!!! She said " I have been thinking about this for a year now" WOW!! I know 4 months agoshe said to her friendI have to work out weather i want to marry himcause his at the age where he needs to know what his doing.

Im not sure what to do should i contact her and tell her something?

Im in love with this girl and 8 months ago she was talking about kids and engagments, Everything was fine and now this and she can be stubborn and may jst walk away.

I want her but dont know how this could possibly happen.

As I walked herto the car she got in and said " I love you but, don't know if its enough forever"

That was it!! Hat do I do I'm dying insid, I need to call her and we even had plans this week...

That is some pretty tough stuff man. Maybe if you know she isn't doing this to cheat, then maybe she just started getting scared of being wrong about you and her. Maybe she's worried that if you two get married and she was wrong, what then? It could be that she wants to make sure what she feels for you is the real thing.

Check out this thread... very similar... he had his girlfriend all of a sudden want her space our of the blue... read what he wrote, and then read the peopl's responses... ALL OF THEM... this should help!

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...me-116355.html

She's only 22! That's a BIG commitment to try and make at that young age. You two have been together for a while. Has she been a serial relationship person? If so she might be aching to find out who she is outside of a relationship. It has nothing to do with you and you need to understand this its about her.

Let her have her space and let her have her time. If you keep jumping all over her it will make her feel that you do not respect her feelings or her wishes.

And please do read the above thread his situation is almost identical.

That sucks man... I have been in the same boat with my Ex you can check all my posts there is some great advice to be found. Keep your head up I know its hard but don't focus on the future focus on today and focus on how you are going to make Yourself happy. She needs her space just give it to her and work on you so many times we fall into the trap that we need someone else to help make us happy... you know what I have been learning that the only person that can make me happy is ME. Get to the gym, run, bike, go out with friends do anything but sit on your butt and think about this. You didn't really see this coming and most times you never do we can't predict the future so why worry about it what we can do is have fun with the day we have been given.

My advice just tell her in the eyes that you still have feelings for her if she doesn't get back just hopefully get new one

Gie her the space she says she wants. Just tell her "call me when you've made up your mind." Leave it at that. Get out and do your own thing. I'm sure you'll miss her for a while as it sounds like you had a pretty good thing going. But these things do happen, illogical though they may be and nobody can really explain why. But now's the time for you to date and meet new women and do the things you like to do, for yourself.

All good advise above. Give her want she wants. Do no contact her! Work on what you want from life and change for the better. You are single, you are no longer in a relationship and treat is as that. Do not hope!

Well she contacted me with a message 30 minutes ago. Its said " Hay if your watching tv tonight theres a good movie on" That was it??

What the hell does that mean..?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brokenheart27

Well she contacted me with a msg 30 mins ago. Its said " Hay if your watching tv tonight theres a good movie on" That was it???

What the hell does that mean..???

She's probably trying to get you into a conversation.

But here is what no contact is really all about, if they don't want all of you then they get NONE of you. That is what no contact is really about. Remember that.

Im so confused and don't no what to do, I miss her so muchand can't believe this has happened. I spoke to her tonight and she said she won't string me along and for the moment I should just pretend we are not together. I said but if we are on a break I can see why we would get back together its like a break up or not. And she said well you just don't think people can have a break and then get back together. I said well why have the break why not just stay together and work on your independenvce while your in the relationship. And she said I need to know I will be OK by myself, and I said if your OK by yourself then hat does that mean for us. She then said I might realise I can't live without you...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brokenheart27

Im so confused and dont no what to do, I miss her so muchand can't believe this has happened. i spoke to her tonite and she said she wont string me along and for the moment i should just pretend we are not together. i said but if we are on a break i can see why we would get back together its like a break up or not. And she said well you just dont think people can have a break and then get back together. I said well why have the break why not just stay together and work on your independenvce while your in the relationship. and she said i need to know i will be ok by myself, and i said if your ok by yourself then hat does that mean for us. She then said I might realise i can't live without you...

However if you do not honor her wishes and did not give her space and do not allow her to explore her independence its going to make the situation worse.

Today is your first day of no contact. Do whatever it takes to stay busy and get your focus off her.

Leave her alone and focus on making yourself happy without her. Get the balance back in your life. I think she see's how dependent on each other you both were, and a healthy change was needed. Do this for you.

Keep busy doing other things. Try your best.