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-   -   Confusing Friendship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=117247)

  • Aug 6, 2007, 08:46 PM
    x0x_gothicgal_x0x
    Confusing Friendship
    I have a friend who seems to have a few problems with/about me.

    Firstly we have had a few fights in the past about her problems with/in life but when I try to talk to her about my problems it seems as though she doesn't want to listen to me and doesn't care about them. Every time her parents threaten her to be kicked out I always offer her a place to stay.

    And she also she seems to have a habit of talking about me to my/her other friends, and says she hates me and doesn't want to be my friend but when I confront her she is nice to me and acts like a friend.

    So I don't understand can you help me.

    :confused: :(
  • Aug 6, 2007, 08:51 PM
    rankrank55
    This is called two-faceism, lol. Seriously though, it doesn't sound like your "friend" is being a friend at all. We all have the friend who'd rather talk about themselves then listen to your problems but talking about you behind your back? That is wrong and should not be tolerated. You need to confront he about this in a non-defensive way. Let her know that you care about her and that it truly hurts your feelings to know that someone that you care about doesn't seem to have the same care for you.
  • Aug 6, 2007, 08:51 PM
    Ace High
    Sounds like you are being used when she needs something. She sounds like the type that is only interested in herself and not you. Do you need this type of friend? --- Ace
  • Aug 6, 2007, 10:48 PM
    eljay1103
    You need to stop being so nice and maybe teach her a lesson by not being there for her as much as she needs you... so that she can actually see what a good friend you are... and what a friend she will loose if she doesn't stop being so 2faced... honey you don't need someone who doesn't appreciate you... try giving her the cold shoulder for a while and she if she cares..
  • Aug 18, 2007, 09:09 AM
    Marily
    I think you need to take a break from this confusing friendship.
  • Aug 19, 2007, 07:54 PM
    x0x_gothicgal_x0x
    Thanks to all of u for tell me that you make me a lot better
  • Aug 28, 2007, 01:24 PM
    lacuran8626
    Yeah, end the friendship. You cannot confide in someone who neither listens nor respects the implied privacy that exists in close friendships. She is not mature enough to be what you need.

    Also, consider getting some counseling even if life is good. Sometimes it's good to have a professional to get guidance and help from, and to feel listened to and understood and to get some life-coaching from. Then, your friendships can be a little lighter and can focus on positive things like doing fun things together, talking about music, meeting guys, or whatever you are into these days. Marinating in your problems when you are with your friends by focusing on that in your talks can wear you down more than you realize, instead of providing you some positive time to recharge your spirit and rest your mind, and get away from your troubles for a while.

    I hope this helps you and am sorry you have been treated poorly. Some people just don't know how to be a friend, and if you simply treat her in a kind way but stop being around her if you can help it, maybe she will learn something from the experience and from your example.
  • Aug 28, 2007, 02:35 PM
    s_cianci
    She's obviously totally wrapped up in herself and doesn't care about you or anyone else. You don't need a "friend" like that ; nobody does. I'd scratch this one off the list.

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