I do not understand what is going on with me.
This guy disrespected me the first day we went out. In the back of my head I was thinking I should let that pass because, I want to be with him and because I am so used to my family who is closed minded about everything and I don't want to be like them. I did not want to take everything so strict either, (as strict as they were) So I still went out with him. I put up with a lot of mental, emotional abuse. I did not want to believe this was really happening to me and that somehow he would change, because I was being a good girlfriend. In several occasions he would stare at women so intently when I was around him and then nod at them like saying (you know what I want!) and if the woman paid no attention he would be angry. Then he would deny everything to me. It hurt me very much when on Father's day I had spent the entire day with him just because, and bought him a gift and took care of his children while we went to the park, his woman cousin who was much larger chested than me was there and he was almost druling at her and made the same proposal in the same way in my presence, she was laughing and I was so embarrassed, humiliated, disrespected among other feelings, till today I still feel the pain he caused me and I am very frustrated. Then on occasions I believe I should forgive him since that would seem like the right thing to do. I still believe every lie he says, I act very naïve but I actually do know what is going on. I don't want to live the truth somehow. At times I just want to get back at him any way to hurt him because I really hurt when I remember. Why can't I get rid of this jerk for good?
He is not just a jerk he is the king of them all.