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-   -   Partner wants son circumcised.I am dead against it (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=116680)

  • Aug 5, 2007, 07:59 AM
    goldnugget
    Partner wants son circumcised.I am dead against it
    Does anyone know if it is possible for the father of a baby boy to have him circumcised without the mother's permission?
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:01 AM
    nauticalstar420
    Papers have to be signed by at least one parent. I signed for both of my kids circumcisions, and my husband didn't want them to have the procedure. So yes, one parent can sign the papers against the other parents wishes.
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:01 AM
    bushg
    Are you married to the parent?
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:03 AM
    nauticalstar420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bushg
    Are you married to the parent?

    Ahh good question. Thanks :)
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:05 AM
    goldnugget
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bushg
    Are you married to the parent?


    No we are not married and I will leave my partner if needs be to protect my son from having the procedure. I can't believe that they would circumcise a baby unless the mother agreed to it
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:09 AM
    nauticalstar420
    If you aren't married and can't come to some sort of an agreement on the issue, they won't do it.
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:09 AM
    nauticalstar420
    If you were married, all they need is the consent of one of the parents.
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:10 AM
    J_9
    Consent for this procedure must be signed by only one parent. You should address your concerns with your doctor and the hospital staff.
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:12 AM
    nauticalstar420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9
    consent for this procedure must be signed by only one parent. You should address your concerns with your doctor and the hospital staff.

    Thanks for giving the right answer.. lol. I thought it would matter whether you were married.

    To the OP : listen to J_9!
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:15 AM
    bushg
    Gold I think that you need to do whatever to protect your child. I applaud you, more women need to stick up for the children. Let the boyfriend know that it can always be done, later if need be. But I have 3 nephews that are not circumcised and they are adults now, and never no problems. Also we have 3 great nephews that are not circumcised and 1 is 5 the other 2 and 1 is a year old. IF I had known what I know now. My boys would have never been touched, I listened to the doctor and now after eductaing myself I feel that it is useless to do. Good Luck
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:23 AM
    goldnugget
    Thanks everyone for your answers and advice. I really didn't think they could do it unless they had my permission. Now I know otherwise, I will get some sort of legal advice to see if I can stop him from doing it.
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:29 AM
    nauticalstar420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by goldnugget
    Thanks everyone for your answers and advice. i really didn't think they could do it unless they had my permission. now i know otherwise, i will get some sort of legal advice to see if i can stop him from doing it.

    Also, lik J_9 said, talk to your hospital staff. I am sure they will try to work with you and your partner the best they can. :)
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:33 AM
    goldnugget
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
    Also, lik J_9 said, talk to your hospital staff. I am sure they will try to work with you and your partner the best they can. :)


    Thanks nautical. I have already spoken to them with him and even though they said that circumcision was not routine and also not necessary, he is still adamant about finding a doctor to do it so I will have to get some sort of legal advice. Perhaps the hospital might be able to advice me.
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:34 AM
    nauticalstar420
    It is possible. It never hurts to ask :)
  • Aug 5, 2007, 08:46 AM
    Dreamer10
    Why are you against it? Maybe if you researched why doctors perform it in hospitals, then you might not be reserved about it. I think besides it being a Jewish/Christian (some Christian) and Muslim thing, it's proven to be a very health thing too. I saw Steven Lewis talking about it at the aids convention. It's recommended, I think, to protect men from possible forms of infection? But of course, no one should be forced to have this done to their child. Your spouse should understand this. You two should talk about the pros and cons and then decide together.
  • Aug 5, 2007, 06:35 PM
    babieface85
    If you do not sign an agreement of paternity at the hospital he has not legal rights until a judge grants them after a DNA test. I am not saying it is the best choice or the right choice. It is however, one way to protect your son from circumcision.
  • Aug 5, 2007, 06:40 PM
    nauticalstar420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by babieface85
    If you do not sign an agreement of paternity at the hospital he has not legal rights until a judge grants them after a DNA test. I am not saying it is the best choice or the right choice. It is however, one way to protect your son from circumcision.

    Sign an agreement of paternity at the hospital? I have had two kids and have never had to sign such a paper, but then again I was in/just got out of labor, so I might not remember.

    All you need is one parents consent for the circumcision, and the hospital will do it.
  • Aug 5, 2007, 07:09 PM
    sGt HarDKorE
    Why are you so against it first of all?
  • Aug 5, 2007, 07:24 PM
    alkalineangel
    A lot of mothers don't think they have the right to make such an important and personal decision for their child... You can always have one done later, but its not like you can reverse the procedure later...
  • Aug 5, 2007, 09:58 PM
    Dreamer10
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by alkalineangel
    A lot of mothers dont think they have the right to make such an important and personal decision for their child...You can always have one done later, but its not like you can reverse the procedure later...


    True you can get it done later, but Doctors suggest earlier is better, because babies, like getting their umbilical cord cut off, will not remember getting this done. You should speak to your doctors because a reason it's done in American hospitals is because it prevents men from getting some really nasty infections out there. And it will not harm your child. But again, no one should ever force you to do this. You should explain the reasons you don't want this done, but also hear out the reasons your partner does.

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