This is a great piece of advice and it might just be all you need to make you feel strong and able to cope on your own. I have some other bits I would like to post if I can find them. More and more people are choosing to go solo. Don’t be afraid, you are stronger than you think.
How To Be Happy
1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, enmity, grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10. Don't hold post-mortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
- Robert Louis Stevenson -
Relaxation, Meditation and Affirmations will help you connect with yourself. Get yourself some good books on the subject. Be good to yourself, treat yourself like you would like others to treat you. Do that and you will come to love and appreciate yourself. And remember, you are your own best friend.
Here are some affirmations that may help you until you find your feet in caring for yourself.
Affirmations - Positive statements created and repeated in order to cultivate a positive attitude.
I don't analyse, I utilize.
I deserve love and respect.
I enjoy the simple things in life.
I invite new choices into my life.
I do things in order of importance.
I alone am in control of my destiny.
I have faith in my plans and projects.
I deserve to have my dreams realised.
I will ask for help if and when I need it.
I say goodbye to destructive influences.
I have the power to make my dreams come true.
I will bring more peace and harmony into my life.
I treat myself with love, kindness and compassion.
I may be alone from time to time but I am not lonely.
I am learning to rise above my baser needs and wants.
I am freeing my mind of negative and limiting thoughts.
I will heed my instincts and intuition and act accordingly.
I realise even big plans must be worked out in small steps.
I acknowledge my successes with gratitude and generosity.
I deserve to experience everything that is good in the world.
I do not have to be doing something every moment of the day.
I choose to be calm rather than frantic when my day gets hectic.
I welcome all my feelings knowing they guide me to my true self.
I close my eyes from time to time and remember all I have to be grateful for.
I had a tough time as a kid and my journey in learning to like myself was pretty rough at times. I read a lot and took notes and read over and over again the stuff that seemed to be helping. I'm fine now and I enjoy sharing what helped me. That is the only reason for these posts. I hope you find something useful among the words.
Stay strong and stay above the battles.
You can do it, you can go it alone until you feel ready to share your life with someone again.
Being alone needn’t mean being lonely.
Finally.......
Take Care Of You
Support Yourself ~ You are your own best friend. You alone know what is best for you. Don't be afraid to ask for help if and when you need it. Asking for help doesn't mean you are weak, it means you are wise.
Praise Yourself ~ Give yourself a pat on the back for all the things you did well, for every mistake you learned something from, for every person you did a favour for, and remember to tell yourself how well you are doing.
Forgive Yourself ~ Let go of the past. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing and you will live life differently. Forgive everyone who ever hurt or upset you - you hurt no one but yourself by holding onto this kind of baggage.
Stop All Criticism ~ Pay attention to your internal dialogue, and stop criticizing yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive. Review the source then try to treat other people's criticism constructively.
Give And Receive Freely ~ Giving is fun, and that includes giving to yourself. The more you give to yourself, the more you have to give to others. Giving to others comes not from a sense of sacrifice, self-righteousness, or spirituality, but from the pure pleasure of giving. Giving becomes its own reward. Remember, you can't continue to give unless you are equally willing to receive.
Start Caring ~ Some people feel uncomfortable with the term "Love Yourself". Begin by caring about yourself and the world you live in. Start caring about what you want out of life, love and relationships. Begin now to care about yourself and everyone else in your life. Caring about yourself and others isn't a pain-free occupation, but you will be cultivating a positive, loving, caring relationship with yourself.
Be Gentle, Kind and Patient - Especially With Yourself ~ My well-being comes before your well-being from where I stand, and your well-being comes before my well-being from where you stand. And that's as it should be. We can't presume to take care of anyone until we can take care of ourselves. Thinking about what makes us happy and comfortable is not selfishness, it's self-awareness. When we are happy others benefit also.
Deal Positively With Negative Thoughts And Feelings ~ Negative thoughts are not bad, they're simply telling us about something that needs our attention. Our job is to discover what needs to be done and take care of it. Many people fail to see a negative occurrence as a learning experience and continue to feel victimised and helpless, ultimately blaming others for what they drew to themselves, however unaware of that fact they may be.
Take Care Of Your Body ~ The most effective healing system is in the body itself, but it will only work properly when we allow it to do so. We restrict its power to heal itself by worrying and getting over anxious about everything that 'might' go wrong in our lives. If you have a serious problem and there seems to be no answer in sight, it could be that your emotions are getting in the way and that you are working against yourself; perhaps you have the answer but you are too upset to realise it. In that case, it may be more effective and appropriate to work first on your feelings and emotions.
