I just read a question of a woman asking if its wrong to fantasize during sex with her husband of many years. All of the replies to the post were people telling her that its totally Fine! Fine?

Do people really think that its okay to be making love to the person that you SAY you love while thinking of another person? Don't think that Ive never had sex before. Before I was a Christian I had a lot of sex, and I plan on it after I marry my fiancé, but never, I vow to never ever fantasize of another man. Its dishonest, and disrespectful, and selfish.

So basically, do I stand alone in this?

Nope. I think it's kind of inappropriate and if your paretner knew, I'm pretty sure ti would break their heart.
Yes, i think it's okay to allow your mind wander a little bit, but snave, you must keep in mind the difference between sex and love.

No, that's just it... there should be no separation from sex and love. But I guess I have to face the fact that people don't respect themselves or anyone else anymore.

I guess you do... it's not about respect. You see, love is something deep and true and pure and something that you can jsut feel corsing through your veins. Sex is the physical part of love, but human beings have tainted it and turned it into just another thing that people do...

No, you're not alone and I think you've identified part of the reason why the divorce rate hovers around 50%. People aren't committed to their spouses or the institution of marriage. People want to fantasize, carry on affairs, look at porn, secretly e-mail their high school sweethearts from 25 years ago and everybody wants to pretend that it's all OK. Anyone who objects gets the guilt trip laid on them by being called insecure or a prude. Well, actions really do speak louder than words, so upon observing the state of things as they are today, no amount of rhetoric is going to convince me otherwise.

Thank you

Do whatever makes you comfortable. Two people can define their relationship, according to them, but not good to tell others how to define theirs. Other peoples bedrooms are their business. Fantasy and role playing is okay in my house, plus a few more games, tricks and fun activities, and my marriage is solid, so if it works for you and him do it that way.

If it's their business why do they post it all over this site?

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SnaveLeber : if its their business why do they post it all over this site?

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To share their opinion and read other, or the same reason you did.

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SnaveLeber : No, thats just it... there should be no separation from sex and love. But i guess i have to face the fact that people dont respect themselves or anyone else anymore.

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Seems that's your attitude and not nessecarily everyyone else's. Its all good though.

I don't see a problem with it. If it helps my partner have a pleasurable time then it takes a bit off the pressure of me. :)

Its really hard to restrict oneself to ones partner alone, and there can be a desire to experience more and more, or to experience better and better. Such tendencies can be natural. But there are also cases where people don't have such cravings or desires. What is good or bad, or right or wrong can not be classified based on our physical or emotional needs. There is a purpose for every human desire or emotion, that's what drives people. But focusing ones energy on one's partner can do a lot of good to the relationship. In my opinion, owing to our physical limitations pleasure that we experience is very limited to that extent. There is no peek of the pleasure that we can reach or depth of the pain that we can record, its definitely limited to ones physical limits. Which is to say that here exists unlimited pleasure and pain that extends beyond human limitations. If that being the case, how long or how much should one chase ones desires or fantasies? Owing to such limitations, people from various faiths of life, have recommended to be devoted to a single partner, which falls in line with nature, that is to procreate and proscribed from relationship out side marriage.