All right, this is embarrassing. But I can't ask any of my co-workers, because I don't want to be made fun of. Not everyone is very Understanding in the US. Army. I'm not embarrassed of the woman I love, it's just that she lives back home, and I'm about to be Deployed to Iraq... Now, I grew up without a Dad, and my Mom was always working. So I've had to teach myself everything, how to tie I Tie, how to Shave, Everything...
Now, for once I want to do something RIGHT! But I don't know how! I KNOW we have to get Married, and I'm thinking of ways to Propose; but I don't know what Rings to buy when, and how to get a Marriage certificate. I have NO ONE I can turn to. Could someone walk through Everything I need to do to get married? Lets say I start At The Ring Store, what do I buy, and where do I go from there?

Buy something that you think she will love. The princess cuts (square) are really popular right now, as is the platinum band (looks silver) but really, it is what you think her personal style is. Or why not surprise her with an empty box, and you both go pick something out together? Believe me any ring will make her so happy... because it really isn't about the ring, its about the commitment. But any jeweler will be able to help you pick something if you want to do it on your own. They see what people pick everyday, and they'll know the current trends.

Take her out for dinner and surprise her there. Nothing better than professing your love to the whole room :) or do it in the privacy of your own home, or sitting in front of a sunset... what do you two like to do with each other... make that play in the proposal.

As for a marriage certificate... you go to your county clerk for that. You will need to look up what the law for your particular state is, as some places give you more time. Here where I live, your license is only valid for 30 days... so you can't get it more than 30 days before the wedding. There will be differen costs for each state. Here it is 25 dollars.

Some couples like to go ring shopping together; but if you want to surprise her any jewlery store would be happy to help you. If you are on a tight budget seeing you are in the military a pawn shop is a good idea. I'm sure any ring you get will make her happy. Does she like gold or the white gold (looks like silver). If you don't know a ring size someone at the jewlery store can help you with that.
Next step would be getting the marriage certificate... if you know where you want to get married go to the local court house/justice of the peace and they can help you. You have to apply for the license and I know in Oklahoma you need to get blood test done.
Good luck in Iraq been there done that!! If not contact your local JAG about getting married they can help.

Well, I think after I propose, we'd be Engaged for a while... Until after Iraq, then maybe we can go to College together. But What Rings do I buy, and when do I give her which one? And what rings do I get myself? Do I propose with the Engagement Ring? Or the Wedding Ring? Don't Engagement rings not have a Gem usually?

Yes, you propose (typically) with a diamond solitaire. It can be any size, any shape, any color. You worry about the bands (for you and her) later.

Waiting is probably good, as she will most likely want to plan her wedding (its a girl thing) and this takes time. She probably has already envisioned her dress, a reception, flowers and so forth... so I doubt she will fight you there. :)

Wise move to wait until after you get back. I would start with the engagement ring, believe me when it comes to the details of the wedding, she will have them worried about for you :)

So when I get down on one knee and say all the sappy stuff and be all charming... I put the Wedding Ring on her finger? But then do I take it back and give her the engagement ring, then give her the Wedding ring AT the wedding or something? They never show this part in the movies... It's just -Guy is charming, give her a ring with a big stone. Then they get married"... - What about the in between?

It depends I know some that only have the wedding ring and no engagement ring. You can get a ring to match what you want to give her. My husband never gave me a ring when he proposed. We went together to get a matching set. I bought his and he bought mine. It depends on what you want to do and what kind of a budget you are on.

The engagement ring often has a diamond--or a pretty stone like a topaz or an opal. It's what you give her when you ask her to marry you. She might have picked it out, or it might be your surprise to her. The wedding ring is usually a plain band and can be bought at the same time (sometimes they even fit together, or at least match) and is put on her finger when you two exchange wedding vows. The bride often buys a wedding ring to put on the groom's finger then.

Ask specific questions and we will answer you!

You put the engagement ring on the left ring finger. No wedding band at this point. As the others said, you can buy a set, or not. What we did was buy wedding bands later after the fact. You will be able to find a band that fits the ring you choose. But some people like to get a wrap, which actually fits around the ring... I would start someplace like Shane company or another jeweler. Tell them you want to surprise you girlfriend with a solitaire. Buy the diamond you want, and have them set it in a plain ring. Ask them if she wants to come back and pick a set, will they refund you the money of the ring and let you put the diamond in the set she wants.. Shane Company I know will let you do this.. You still have the element of surprise with the ring, and she can make it her own afterwards.

Hello

No one has addressed the amount of money you have to spend on the ring. Everyone is talking about a ring set where you have the big ring first and the smaller band at the wedding. If she Loves you she will Love any ring you buy her. Get a simple band to show your love for her now and after you get back then you can both go ring shopping.

Thank You for being one of the heroes that are keeping out country free...

Dennis777

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Originally Posted by Dennis777

Hello

No one has addressed the amount of money you have to spend on the ring. Everyone is talking about a ring set where you have the big ring first and the smaller band at the wedding. If she Loves you she will Love any ring you buy her. Get a simple band to show your love for her now and after you get back then you can both go ring shopping.

Thank You for being one of the heroes that are keeping out country free...

Dennis777

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I agree, she will love anything you give her, because As I said earlier, it is more about the commitment than the ring...
I also commend you on your bravery and thank you for your efforts.

An engagement ring really can be anything (my sister has a sapphire, my cousin has a plain gold band) but the common choice is a diamond solitare (of any size). Example: Diamond Solitaires
A wedding ring can be a solid band, or anything else (lots of people have solid gold bands, Eternity bands, or Diamond wrap style rings) Those should be picked out together.

For picking a ring, go with what she'd like. IF she's the type of girl who would want to pick, take her. If she'd rather be surprised, pick one out for her... chances are, that if she's that way, she's sentimetal anyway. (My husband picked my engagement ring... Thank goodness he surprised me... I wouldn't have wanted the pressure and I'm the type to love it cause he bought it ;))

As said, go to the jewelry store with a budget in mind. They will be more than happy to help you shop in that price range. Then later and closer to the wedding, you can go together and pick out bands you each like that compliment her engagement ring. (They don't have to match, I have white gold, hubby has black titanium)

Ideas to propose::
Take her to a favorite spot.
Parks, a beach, place to eat, to get an icecream cone, drive-in movie... etc.
Set up a picnic blanket, buy a bottle of wine
Get a hotel room for the night
Wait for a birthday or holiday (mine was under the christmas tree)
One idea I heard was to get a Build A Bear (or any stuffed animal) and tie it around its neck. Later, that bear could be carried by the ring bearer or flower girl and your gal will have a memento. :)

You don't have to do anything fancy, just make it memorable by showing her you thought about her when you planned it.

As for the wedding, she'll start planning it - there are plenty of resources out there.

GOOD LUCK! :)

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Originally Posted by PFC_Blank

So when I get down on one knee and say all the sappy stuff and be all charming... I put the Wedding Ring on her finger? But then do I take it back and give her the engagement ring, then give her the Wedding ring AT the wedding or something? They never show this part in the movies... It's just -Guy is charming, give her a ring with a big stone. Then they get married"...- What about the in between?

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Show her the ring and ask... when she says yes she may grab it and put it on, she may stick her hand out and wait for you to do it.

Don't worry about this part, it goes so fast its too hard to predict. ;)
(Expect either tears of joy or screaming excitement)

She will wear the ring until the wedding, then during the wedding ceremony, you'll place the wedding band on her finger, next to the engagement ring.

Also, if budget is an issue, silly as it sounds, I got my ring from the walmart jeweler LOL! It is beautiful 1 carat and we later found a diamond wedding band to match. It isn't as great of a quality as you would find at a big jeweler, but it is real and comes with a certificate of autehenticity from the gem people. I have never run across anyone who can tell the difference. We spent around 500 on the solitaire and 199 on the band. My husband got a plain gold band for around 70 dollars... when we are better off, we may upgrade, but I love my rings.

If not for right now just get a promise ring and when you get back do the whole engagement thing. You already have enough on your mind stressing about Iraq.

As everyone has said - any kind of ring will do. Just think of her and her style when you chose something. I like big jewlery - across the board, my sister likes understated stuff. So, if you were shopping for us - you would be looking at two totally different things. So, just have her in mind when you shop.
Diamond prices range from a couple hundred dollars and up. If you really want to get her something big and expensive - but can't afford it right now - then most stores offer a layaway plan (my husband did this). If you still want to get her something while you are paying for the engagement ring - the idea of a promise ring is a good one.
Just remember, you don't have to break the bank. The size of the diamond doesn't measure your love.

The proposal - again, keep her in mind. Or your relationship in mind. If there is a favorite spot - do it there. If it's your meeting place or first date place - those are options.

As for the rest - don't worry about it. It will fall into place. Every little girl dreams of her wedding day - she will walk you through the rest.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

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Originally Posted by jrb252000

If not for right now just get a promise ring and when you get back do the whole engagement thing. You already have enough on your mind stressing about Iraq.

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You have a good point. But I think I'd want something a little more Official, makes it more deffinant...

Thank you all very much for your advice and help. I now have a better idea of what I need to get done.
ALTHOUGH... As for When to get married? Are there any like old tales and superstitions or ANYTHING interesting about what time of the year or month to get married? I heard some people really care about When the anniversaries will be...

Choosing a wedding date is something the two of you can do together. I have a feb. anniversary.
The rule of thumb is to give yourself at least 6 months to plan a wedding. It takes almost that long to get a dress if it is ordered. A lot of people do summer weddings because there are more options.
But again, it is really up to you. With weddings - it is all about the bride and groom. A celebration of your love - so almost anything goes!

Lets see, I'll be able to go home in November. Then I deploy in December, then I'm in Iraq for 15 months. That seems like a long time really... But she might not want to Totally tie the knot until College is under control... But I'm a little afraid of her getting lonely over the 15 months, I might be able to have the Internet and use a web camera to convey my love... But do you have any suggestions on how I can keep her happy from so far away? Or advice I can give her about staying with me while I'm so far away?

1st off, getting married will not make you any closer - distance wise. Yes, there is a commitment there but, that isn't always honored, sadly.

The best thing I can tell is to communicate with her. If it is letters, calls (if even possible), emails. Whatever. Let her know that you are thinking of her.
You can send her e-cards. Hallmark has free ecards and you can set it up to send them on certain dates. Now, I don't know if they would do them for 15 months - but when I went on vacation - I had it set up to send him an e-card for everyday that I was gone.

You could send her taped messages - voice or audio. It would mean so much to her to hear your voice.

You just have to be creative.