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-   -   My husband keeps lying to me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=116188)

  • Aug 3, 2007, 11:38 AM
    kraziegrl637
    My husband keeps lying to me
    My husband and I have been together for 4 years. We have a 2 year old boy and we are only 18. About a year ago, he started talking to his ex and she invited him to her house at 11:00 pm! I told him to stop talking to her because she was interfering in our relationship. It took a few more calls for him to stop. Then, the beginning of 2007, he started talking to another ex of his. Again, I asked him to stop when he started talking to her more than me, he said she needs someone to talk to. I told him it's fine but I seen the text messages he was sending her and they were way too friendly, saying things like she was beautiful then tell me she was ugly. I was confused, he called me the same thing, beautiful. Then 2 days ago, I seen an email conversation between them. He told her that he will always love her and that he's tried calling her for awhile. I brought it up to him and asked him what I should do if he's in love with another woman and he said he lied to her and didn't mean it. This whole summer he has not stopped talking to her at all, is he really lying? Should I give another chance to prove he was lying by not talking to her?


    ... Amanda
  • Aug 3, 2007, 11:41 AM
    jrb252000
    I think you already have the proof you need to show he is lying. He needs to chose you or the ex. He doesn't respect you if you asked him to stop and he continues contact with this woman.
  • Aug 3, 2007, 11:42 AM
    GlindaofOz
    It seems to me like he has done a whole lot of lying to you. I don't really believe him. I can't tell you what to do but it sounds really fishy and I would be really suspicious in your shoes.

    You have to decide how much lying you can put up with and only you can judge how badly this is affecting your relationship.
  • Aug 4, 2007, 11:03 PM
    otto186
    In my personal experience when dealing with ex girlfriends while you are married, there is a very fine line between what is acceptable and what is not. If he has given you a reason not to trust him, then I would be concerned. If he hasn't, then trust him until he gives you a reason not to. Trust is the most fundamental characteristic in a relationship. And for a relationship to work you have to have trust. If you really feel uncomfortable then sit him down and explain it to him. Tell him how you feel. If he still continues I would suggest seeking counseling. At least if you end it because of this situation, you'll know you did everything in your power to save the relationship.
  • Aug 8, 2007, 03:55 AM
    mischa88
    Relationships only go on trust and trust from both people he is lying to you so there's no trust in your relationship (on his behalf)

    HE should not feel the urge to contact any of his ex partners and think about your feelings more.

    He needs to show TRUST or forget him- once a lyer always a lyer
    Goodluck sweetz :-)
  • Aug 9, 2007, 10:57 PM
    miss_confused
    Marriage is about honesty and truthfulness. And Lying is not part of marriage in any way. A great deal of respect is needed to avoid lying. If your husband really respects you and love you and you are the most important person in this world for him then he will stop his communication with his exes. You must confront and ask him once and for all if he is willing to stop or not. If he loves you that much, then he will stop. He must understand that infidelity and adultery doesn't need sexual intercourse. He can be adulterous just by getting in touch with his exes specially if they are exchanging sweet nothings...
  • Aug 10, 2007, 10:20 AM
    Marily
    Without trust and honestly there is very little left in a relationship, I am sure you hate it to sneak around and find out what he has been up to, you should ask him to get his priorities straight. He is not single anymore, he have a family now and should fulfil his duties as a loving husband.
  • Aug 11, 2007, 03:00 AM
    natetheskate
    I agree with JRB

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