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-   -   I accused him of cheating(I've been cheated on) (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=115565)

  • Aug 1, 2007, 02:29 PM
    MissLady210
    I accused him of cheating(I've been cheated on)
    I admit that I have trust issues. My ex boyfriend of five years cheated on me and now, I'm with a wonderful guy. It's been almost a year and I accused him of cheating. Deep down inside, I know he wouldn't do it. I asked him about it and we had a major argument. Even though we settled it and I agreed to work on my insecurities, I am afraid that I pushed him away. Any incite would help. Thanks.
  • Aug 1, 2007, 07:28 PM
    jrb252000
    I have kind of a similar situation... my husbands exwife cheated on him and he had trust issues with me. My husband got over his insecurtiy over time but it took awhile. If he had doubts on where I had been or what I was doing on the net I showed him. I told him he could go through my purse, call the people I said I was with or whatever he had to do to get the doubt out of his mind. He never checked up on me that I know of but I let him know I had nothing to hid.
  • Aug 1, 2007, 07:40 PM
    Ash123
    If you put your partner first the trust will grow. I was with a woman who was in a bad marriage that I found out later... ended up an open marriage for a while - (it ended up in divorce - a year or so later - duh!). Well, she always asked me if I was cheating... I wasn't. But ironically, I ended up having trust issues with her because I knew about her past and her interest in sexual exploration... If she had truly made me feel first (instead of her school work and EX) we would have ended up together. But I never felt #1 after our first year. Irony #2 - In some ways the laissez-faire attitude of her Ex was threatening to me, since she had a son and had to keep him in her life.

    Bottom line: If you all last, it'll be through making the other person feel a strong sense of priority to you and trust - until it becomes second nature. He can do that by answering your questions, as long as you work on forcing yourself not to test him just... because.
    If you explain why you have trust issues I think he'll forgive you if you have a past problem - as long as you work on getting better.

    Soooo, If he stays at the bar until 2am without calling you DO have a reason to be upset.
    If he goes to the grocery store to buy milk, you probably need to chill.
  • Aug 1, 2007, 08:15 PM
    happylady123
    You need to trust him until he gives you reason not to. Apologize and tell him where you are coming from, hopefully he'll forgive you. Good luck.

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