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-   -   Confused about a girl (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=115514)

  • Aug 1, 2007, 11:21 AM
    Meatbag
    Confused about a girl
    Ok well this is kind of a long story, I'm so confused as to what is going on with this girl so if anybody could help me and try to clarify what is going on, that would be a big help.:)

    Ok so there is a girl I... well I feel like saying love... like isn't strong enough of a word to express how I feel about her. I met her in January of this year in class, she was a VERY shy girl, she maybe spoke 4 sentences the entire month. But I had this strange attraction to her, not for the wrong reasons just because she was her. Whenever we would pass each other in the hall or where-ever she would get a big grin on her face, January passed and Febuarary came and she was still really very shy but she started opening up, we startd talking more and by march she started flirting with me a little, and opening up more, by April whenever we would pass each other in the hall her she would now blush and get a big grin on her face she became comfortable talking around me about her home life, so much so when the school year ended we decided to keep in touch and we exchanged e-mail addresses, a couple days into summer I couldn't take it anymore and I told her I liked her... she was surprised because no-one had ever told her that before... so we scheduled a date,with she postponed, then I did... then I really told her exactly what I thought of her and she got a little scared because she was scared to hurt me and was afraid to accept me into her life for fear that I would change on her,we decided to take dating off the table for a little while and just get to know each other a little deeper, she had some pictures of herself she wanted to send me, but she thought she was flawed and didn't trust me entirely with them, I told her she was perfect the way she was and I'd win her trust somehow, later that night she sent me the picture but she said she didn't know why she did. She asked me when I started and why I started liking her... I held back a bit on my answer cause I still wasn't sure if she liked me, then I asked her if she maybe liked me, and she said yes, A while later we began talking about her shyness, she is aparently really shy around me but still comfortable, and one night when we were chatting online she told me a really personal story, one which her best friends only know half of and one which I promised I wouldn't tell... (and I still won't tell it here because I refuse to betray what trust she has in me)... but needless to say. I'm the only one outside of her family who knows the whole story. She told me she thinks I'm sweet and a cute guy, but she is still really confused. I'm really confused mostly because she is really confused, some please help me and tell me what is happening! I feel like I'm loseing my mind! Thank you
  • Aug 1, 2007, 11:44 AM
    RubyPitbull
    Okay, what is happening is this: You have a crush on her. She likes you but (I am assuming due to the private matter she discussed with you) she is afraid of a relationship.

    You didn't mention how old you both are, so she may be in a position where her parents won't let her date until she is older.

    The bottom line is that you are kind of obsessing on this girl. Normal for most teens but it can be pretty emotionally draining. Instead of talking about formal "dates", why don't you invite her to go bowling, biking, swimming, some sort of sporting activity. That way, you can spend time with her, and she will get to know you better. You are actually going on dates by doing those things. Just don't call them that. She will probably be willing to do these things if you take away the pressure that the word "dating" puts on her.
  • Aug 1, 2007, 02:46 PM
    Meatbag
    OK well we haven't talked about dates for almost a month and a half, and in that time we have tended to stay up late in the night chating online so we've got no problem getting to know each other, However she's the one who brought up the idea of a date.
  • Aug 1, 2007, 03:47 PM
    RubyPitbull
    I am sorry that I misunderstood. I thought she didn't want to go out on "dates." Okay so you are really getting to know each other online. Is that enough for you? I am not too clear on what your problem is and what exactly you need help with.
  • Aug 2, 2007, 10:19 AM
    Meatbag
    I know this sounds stupid but I just want to know what this girl might be thinking. I wonder that because when I start in on a relationship based topic she seems to get ready to say something but holds herself back and says never mind. And I thought that meant she didn't like me until she told me "somedays I see us together"... is it just because she's really shy and doesn't want to say something quite yet or what?I just don't know and that's part of why I'm so confused, what do you think she might be thinking?
  • Aug 2, 2007, 10:22 AM
    Canada_Sweety
    Ask her:)
  • Aug 2, 2007, 10:43 AM
    RubyPitbull
    Honey, Canada has a point. No one can tell you what is going on in the mind of someone else. Especially when we don't know the person. You are the best person to be able to answer that question.

    It sounds like she definitely likes you or else she wouldn't spend all the time she has spent speaking to you. Is it possible that she is afraid of being in a relationship and all that comes with one? Without committing herself to someone, she doesn't have to worry about sexual pressure from a boyfriend. If she is as shy as you believe she is, she may just be afraid of that.

    I really don't think that this has anything to do with her not liking you. I think she does like you.
  • Aug 2, 2007, 11:13 AM
    Meatbag
    Thank you,I just wanted an opinion on this so I could reassure myself on what she told me, well knowing what I know about her everything seems to make sense, the shyness, the hesistance... thankyou
  • Aug 12, 2007, 08:32 AM
    jerseygirl12692
    She likes you she is just afraid of getting into a relationship
  • Aug 12, 2007, 03:28 PM
    xxmissconfusedxx
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Meatbag
    Ok well this is kinda a long story, I'm so confused as to what is going on with this girl so if anybody could help me and try to clarify what is going on, that would be a big help.:)

    Ok so there is a girl I....well I feel like saying love....like isnt strong enough of a word to express how I feel about her. I met her in January of this year in class, she was a VERY shy girl, she maybe spoke 4 sentences the entire month. but I had this strange attraction to her, not for the wrong reasons just because she was her. Whenever we would pass each other in the hall or where-ever she would get a big grin on her face, January passed and Febuarary came and she was still realy very shy but she started opening up, we startd talking more and by march she started flirting with me a little, and opening up more, by April whenever we would pass each other in the hall her she would now blush and get a big grin on her face she became comfortable talking around me about her home life, so much so when the school year ended we decided to keep in touch and we exchanged e-mail addresses, a couple days into summer I couldnt take it anymore and I told her I liked her...she was suprised because no-one had ever told her that before...so we scheduled a date,with she postponed, then I did...then I realy told her exactly what I thought of her and she got a little scared because she was scared to hurt me and was afraid to accept me into her life for fear that I would change on her,we decided to take dating off the table for a little while and just get to know eachother a little deeper, she had some pictures of herself she wanted to send me, but she thought she was flawed and didnt trust me entirely with them, I told her she was perfect the way she was and I'd win her trust somehow, later that night she sent me the picture but she said she didnt know why she did. She asked me when I started and why I started liking her...I held back a bit on my answer cause I still wasnt sure if she liked me, then I asked her if she maybe liked me, and she said yes, A while later we began talking about her shyness, she is aparently realy shy around me but still comfortable, and one night when we were chatting online she told me a realy personal story, one which her best friends only know half of and one which I promised I wouldnt tell....(and I still wont tell it here because I refuse to betray what trust she has in me)...but needless to say. I'm the only one outside of her family who knows the whole story. She told me she thinks I'm sweet and a cute guy, but she is still realy confused. I'm realy confused mostly because she is realy confused, some please help me and tell me what is happening! I feel like I'm loseing my mind! Thank you

    Ummm I have a question how old are you
  • Aug 12, 2007, 04:50 PM
    Meatbag
    16
  • Aug 12, 2007, 04:53 PM
    xxmissconfusedxx
    And she is how old? Older or younger?
  • Aug 12, 2007, 05:37 PM
    Meatbag
    16... why?. I think I have it figured out
  • Aug 12, 2007, 05:39 PM
    xxmissconfusedxx
    Because I was thinking if she was younger her parents don't allow her to date and she likes you but dosen't want to hurt you... But she's most likley scared give her time she'll come around
  • Aug 12, 2007, 05:45 PM
    Meatbag
    OK cool thanks... I told her the other day"Take as long you need...I'm willing to wait however long if it means I'd win your heart in the end."... when I compliment her she tends to get quite and a little nervous... is that normal for a shy girl...
  • Aug 12, 2007, 06:02 PM
    xxmissconfusedxx
    Yes it is more than normal keep doing it to and send her cute little things to her email she'll like it
  • Aug 12, 2007, 06:12 PM
    Meatbag
    OK thanks! Cute little things like pictures? Or saying... well she says they're sweet things, to her?
  • Aug 12, 2007, 06:24 PM
    xxmissconfusedxx
    Anything you think she'll like girls like anything really
  • Aug 12, 2007, 06:26 PM
    Meatbag
    OK... I know what she likes... thank you
  • Aug 12, 2007, 06:30 PM
    xxmissconfusedxx
    No problem I'm here to help

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