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Hi I need some tips. I can give myself an orgasm no problem but when my boyfriend and I are having sex I have never had an orgasm and he has figured out that I am faking them. It is stressing him out and I fear it might mess up are relationship but I have never had an orgasm from having sex before ever! Is there something wrong with me or is it possible that I will never have an orgasm from having sex?:confused:
First of all stop faking. That's so dishonest.
I've never had an orgasm from sex, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't feel good or that it isn't special and intimate. My boyfriends always know that I don't orgasm from sex so they always make sure to give me one another way. If you fake you are letting yourself not get satisfied and that not fair and when your boyfriend finds your faking he just feels inadequate.
Honestly some woman never do some women do sometimes it all depends. Just relax and enjoy yourself.
My partner has never had an orgasm in the missionary position. Not with me. Not with anyone. She enjoys it, it arouses her, but never finishes her. She also almost always has orgasms due to cl!toral stim, not vaginal stim (g spot)... again, not to say vaginal stim isn't important, but if there isn't any direct contact at the cl!toris, it isn't going to work for my partner.
This means a few things... oral sex works most of the time. Oral sex as a build up before sex helps a lot. Woman on top driving the sex puts pressure where she needs it.
If you can take direct cl!toral stim while he's in you missionary raised off you try to self stim. I dated one girl who, luckily, liked hard stim of the cl!toris with fingers (hers or mine) in missionary. She got off almost all the time this way. It was great.
Even if you can't take hard stim like that from your partner (my partner now can't take it like the other did) you might be able to work it yourself. Don't be shy. Its sexy to have a woman WANT to get off.
Also multiple stimulations are important, and at the right time. For ex, if my partner nibbles at my ear early on it feels great... but if she waits to do this until I'm really primed and getting closer it can push me over the edge.
My partner likes a little stim at the breasts in the beginning, but not as much as id like to give. By waiting and then using her fingers or asking me to gently bite later in the game, again, it can push the sensations over the top for her.
So mix it up. Have him bite at your neck at different times. Suck on a finger and massage it with his tongue. One partner loved to have her hair pulled a little at the right time. She also loved to have her wrists held or my hands at her neck, not too hard. One liked a little minor anal stim while inside her. There's a lot to work with. Mix it up.
Personally, much of the time what would get me off fastest would not get my partner off. Men and women are just built and wired differently. So you need to help him a little. A giving lover will try to please you. Just cause he isn't doesn't mean he won't... but it helps if you know yourself well enough to start with.
And don't forget the mental side. Mental blocks can absolutely kill sex. I can be giving oral to my partner and sometimes look at her and just know it isn't going to go anywhere at all. She's interested, but she isn't getting lost in the moment.
Likewise, you are in a catch 22 now cause you've been faking it and now there's this "thing" hanging over the bed. And the pressure of getting to orgasm makes it harder to get there. Sucks.
So you need to relax. You need to talk to your partner honestly about what you like and want. Even direct him a bit. You need to be willing to try some things and to fail.
One position that is money for me isn't particularly comfortable for my partner, but it does stimulate her g spot from a good angle. Well after delegating this to being a position that was mostly just to finish me off, she found by stim her breasts and then her cl!it at the right time she could also get off. This was after a couple of years together of her never getting off in this particular position. In fact, it was the first time we had simultaneous orgasms. So keep at it.
Welcome to the club! 70% of women can't climax from vaginal penetration alone.
A good position for self-stimulation is from behind. That leaves your hands free to play with your clitoris as needed.
I have done that and it only worked one time. Oral sex gets me off but not from guys I love by boyfriend but I seam to fined myself more into girls. Also I started to masterbate at an early age could that have anything to do with it?
I do not think this is a problem on your part. Women rarely climax from normal penetration. Unless you have some clitoral stimulation going the same time I do not think you will have one if he is in you. Let him try and stimulate you while in you from the side. I find that my wife has a huge orgasm when I do this.
I mentioned it before, but don't neglect the mental side. If you aren't finding yourself really passionate, really needing it, you are starting with more work to do. Doesn't mean you can't work yourself there, but the more you can simply experience the physical pleasures without thinking too much, the better.
which is again, your hurdle. Failures beget failures. You need a few "wins" to get mentally more excited... to actually believe its going to happen. And also, since you are still trying to figure out what can work, it means you have to pay attention to being a sexual traffic cop, and this keeps you from experiencing it more freely.
for my partner, a hot bath, a rub down with lotion, and oral to get her going are the things that can help her get there not only physically but mentally... and reduce stress, be healthy, etc.
so... what about letting your boyfriend watch you get yourself off? I know, it might be embarrassing. But c'mon. He's seen you naked. He's been in you, tasted you. Maybe if he watches you he can understand what "pattern" you like... though that's misleading cause I don't think there's ever a perfect pattern...
... well maybe. With one girl I pretty much had to do x,y,z and it worked, but with my partner now I still really have to read her even though I know the things she tends to like or not...
... anyway... chances are watching you will get him excited, and maybe it's a way to open this discussion up. Just a thought.
I don't see why that should be a problem. If anything, being familiar with your body should help.Quote:
Originally Posted by loved_cutie
Hello.
Most Ladies can only climax from two places one is the clitoris and the other is her G spot. If you can find a position that he can rub your G spot as he goes in and out you will find yourself able to climax. There is always oral so he can make you climax many times before and after intercourse.
The problem from what you have said is he doesn't spend the time you need him to orally so you can climax. Talk to him as he is orally making you happy. Get him excited about your excitement. Tell him how what he is doing feels and what to do next. Unless he is a Jump on get it over with quick Guy, he will get so excited about making you happy he will soon be spending so much time with you orally you will have to beg him to stop hehehe.
Have Fun
Dennis777
Relax.
You sound young. You'll find a way. Really. If you relax and are with the right guy, now or 2 years from now, it'll only get better. I promise.
At least you know you CAN have them...
Some women can't have one with normal penetration... you need to get on top... lean forward a little bit and ride the hell out of him... believe me I know from experience... or get him to rub your... or you either way while he's on top... it doesn't matter how you get it as long as you get one.. lolQuote:
Originally Posted by loved_cutie
Someone once asked, "Do you know what your @sshole does during an orgasm???"
I said, "I think he's playing golf!" :D
Naaah, just joking! It reminded me of that joke though for some reason!
Anyway, if you can give them to yourself... then take the time to either show him what it is exactly you do, or let him watch! If he doesn't know anythings wrong, how can he possibly change! As far as he knows, what he's doing now- works... because your faking it.
There's also a lot of good advice listed above! Good luck to you! :)
I think him stressing out about it is just making the situation worse. Forget about faking it, and forget about how he is stressed about not being able to make you orgasm. You need to be mentally into it. I mentioned this on another post, but, most women need about 20 min of foreplay before sex to be able to reach orgasm. Try having your man pleasure you for a while, then when you are ready to have intercourse, be in tune with him. You be on top, that way is better for reaching orgasm, because it hits all the right spots. Then, just do your thing. Hope for the best. You need to be emotionally into it.
My girlfriend doesn't have a orgasm from intercourse but she dose from oral sex all so when I am laid on top of her rubin my penis up and down it she loves it just when she is at her peak I penetrate her and she loves it but she like penertive sex as well nice and slow and long some good tips on here
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