I want to know how to deal with a mother in law who hasn't untied the apron strings for there 45 year old son. She keeps an eye on his bank account and seem to be checking up on what I am doing with his money. We have been in this relationship for 7 years and I have lived with him for 2. When she isn't around we have a loving relationship but he always sides with her saying she is just concerned about his finances. Please help me to deal with this as I feel I am being checked up on.:mad:

Talk to your man and let him know how you feel about it. You are adults and should be able to live your life in privacy and peace. Also the three of you sitting down and talking wouldn't hurt either. She may not know it bothers you so bad. How is it she can check on his bank accounts? If she has the number then you should get a new account if she won't stop. I saw a show about this on Dr. Phil he said the best thing to do is to tell them how it strains your life and ask her to stop. If she does not you may have to hurt her feelings a little bit so she will get the big picture. Good luck

Well his mom is just looking out for her son. Cause her son probably has been used in the past or something.

It's her nature,who doesn't love her son?be her friend and don't say bad thing about her in front your your hubby!:)

Ask his mom why she is so concerned about his finances and let her know how it's affecting your relationship with her and with your husband. If you haven't already asked him why he allows her to cause ripples in your lives, then ask him as well. Mothers have to know when to let go of their babies when their grown. Doesn't matter if they mean well. Otherwise, they may have a grown, married/separated son to dinner every night, breakfast every morning, and a pile of clothes waiting to be washed, on the floor, where ever... all the time. On the other hand, you could go with the flow, and call her every morning, and give her the lowdown of your financial affairs. Call early, call often. When you've spent any money, then call her right away, and let her know what you spent it on, when and where. Throw in some unwelcome info, like maybe, you bought "adult stuff". Keep it up for a while, and see what happens. Bet you won't wait long before there are changes. If your other half gets mad, then remind him of his own words and add a few of your own. "I'm only concerned about letting your concerned mom know of our financial welfare". Good luck