Shame!
I just had an ovarian cyst surgery and it was my boyfriend pays off all my hospital bills. But before I am fully recovered he was sending me e-mail that he doesn't feel good about us and he wants to go on his way no matter how much it will going to hurt me because he can't no longer live the way we have. We are almost three years in our relationship and we mostly fights more than we have peace of time. I would say at a rating of ten we fight 10 and 2 without the fights. He had already attempted to break up third times but I keep pushing him to try all over again and even beg for it. We have lots of disagreement and a lot of fights and my jealousy issues. I know I am not mostly fair to him but I can't help it because I don't feel secured in our relationship. He keeps telling me that he loves me but I can't feel it, I can't see it. Maybe it was only me who expect much from him so I tried to understand and adjust a little. Before him breaking with me I was sending him text maybe a little annoying because I was wondering why he is no longer calling and texting not knowing he has been through with a lot of troubles between us not telling me about it just pretending everything is fine. I also figure out that he was annoyed of my mail that I brought up some old issue and maybe he feels like I was trying to let him feel guilty but it wasn't really my intention. And I was also teasing him something that he took it seriously that maybe made him more mad.
He is a nice guy but he mostly don't know what he wants especially when he is depressed when we have lots of fights. He keeps changing mind about plans and everything and it seems he doesn't have the direction in life. I hate when he seems attractive to someone else and he seems he doesn't care even if I am around and I feel insulted about it. And I get jealous. We also have problems with regards to sex because he is no longer interested having sex with me and I tried to talk to him about it and he only said that he doesn't feel like it anymore not because he doesn't love me anymore but because of our plenty fights it affects him very much. He is a workaholic type of person when he has nothing to do he get easily irritated and it affects our relationship and it feels like he sees me as a problem which is really painful. I've been trying my best to please him and be understanding about him and the situations but seems he doesn't appreciate at all.
It continues fighting over nothing, arguing and then feel like we are two people who are in love again. Same circle all the time again and again. Until now that he decided to go his own way again for the fourth times. The first time I can't feel the pain but the next day was intense. I've been sending him a dozen of mail but he no longer replying and he never call anymore. It feels like he really meant it. In his e-mail he said he cries because it also hurt him but it doesn't helps that way even though he will put his head to the sand it doesn't work and his stomach twisting. And he ask sorry because he can't make it work anymore and can't live the way we have. But I can't let him go it drives me crazy. I love him very much. And I want to get him back.
I feel that we can sort thing out again and I guess he was just confused of so many unexpected events that comes along.. financial matter.. not able to communicate for almost two months because of my line problem.. and maybe our past fights troubling him a lot.. I can understand that but making a rush decision in a middle of crisis is not a good idea. I was sending him text and giving him space to think.. no rush decision.. and assuring him that I am waiting whenever he is ready to talk to me. But this time I never beg for him to come back but just giving assurance that I am still willing to reconcile anytime when he is feeling better. I kept on searching on the web how to get my man back and want some opinions from anyone out there. Seriously I really want him back. Any suggestion to get him back again and letting him feel that not all situation has the same outcome. And I promise to myself thing would be better this time. It's not just really easy since he is a miles away at moment. He has different race and living another country. Works there for a couple of months and come home with me for a couple of months that's our agreement for the meantime.
At moment I don't have good rest, can't eat well, feel anxious about everything what had happened. I know I can't make thing just overnight. But I am willing to sacrifice and have my patience to wait.
Please help!
