Ask Me Help Desk - I miss the old days

My parents aren't together anymore and I miss the old days so badly... I neer get to see either one of them a lot at a time because I'm always at one of their houses and I've tried everything to get them back together! Im getting tired of trying to make this work.

Becca,

Your efforts are very well intended and noble but something's are better left the way they are. I know you miss the way things were when your mom and pop were together but there's a reason why they chose to part ways and certainly it wasn't you. You have to realize that people do grow apart and when they do they are no longer compatible causing problems that can result in domestic conflics and friction. All you can do rather than trying to get them together is to be grateful that they are both there for you still. If they are destined to be back together it will happen- on there own. A Sometime forcing an issue can get intrucive and backfire. Live your life and let your parents live there's. Good luck :)

Hey there, I totally know what you are going through. My parents divorced about 2 years ago when I was 14 and it was sooooo hard. I cried for weeks and still I miss that we will never have those times together as a family anymore. And my parents are really bad at finding other people to date, which makes it even worse. But it's important to know that you weren't responsible for it, which means that as hard as you might want to try, you will not be able to fix it. It's something that happened between them.. usually some kind of selfishness or just falling apart. It's not fair and it hurts, but we kids don't have a lot of say in the matter one way or another. Maybe someday they will realize how much hurt they caused, but for now you have to be strong and enjoy the time you have with each of them and just live your life for you. They did what was best for them, which sucks for us, but now we have to live our lives for ourselves. Good luck! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Becca74

My parents arent together anymore and i miss the old days so badly... I neer get to see either one of them alot at a time because im always at one of their houses and ive tried everything to get them back together! Im getting tired of trying to make this work.

Honesty is the best policy. Tell each of them that they divorced each other and not you. Let them know that you would like more time to spend with either parent without making them feel guilty. Sometimes boyfriends and girlfriends breakup. Well, sometimes moms and dads breakup,too. Don't try to get them back together. Look forward to the time you get to spend with them separately. If they can talk nicely to each other, maybe suggest 1 weekend out of the month where you can all do something together,like a movie. Its only for 2-3 hours. If they are still angry at each other, give them some time on that suggestion. Good luck. Also keep a journal and write down all your feelings, maybe you can leave it out so one of them can find it to see how you feel if you can't tell them verbally. Good luck.