*my second attempt at posting so sorry if this repeats a thread

I am a HUSBAND... and I love my wife...
I am a good leaning toward very good almost even a great person... I adore my family
I worship (mostly) my wife
I was/am an idiot
I am regretful and know what I did wrong
I have a strong opinion that what I did was innocent... at the beginning of our relationship and truly the act itself warrants no unease or unrest (although maybe it would that is why I am here)
I love my wife
I did re-act when 'confronted'... I denied and lied... I kept most of the lie up for a greater amount of time...
I have NEVER this respected my family nor my marriage
BUT... my wife is morte then mad...
She says I have disrespected her/us/marriage/etc
She says I am a liar,cheat
She says I have lied for the entire relationship
She says I may not be worth fighting for

I am divorced... while single and divorced I became a user of the internet... I met people through Forums etc... we chatted... some were (I hope:o )female... and some became friends... and flirty friends... it was SAFE anonyomous and a nice way to re-accliamate myself (after nearly 7 years) to being 'social'... oh and it was also a relief to myself, uhm... well... in a very graphic flirty way...
I met my wife online
We flirted
We met
I fell in Love... she did as well...
We decided to get together... BE together... BE a Family...
She has one child... I have one child (custdy pending)... and now... we have our children... we are a FAMILY... it IS based on LOVE
:confused:
When my wife and I met I was very flirty and very immature... I didn't end any relationships online in a normal sense... I just ignored the chats... mostly... occasionaly (and especially on nights when my now-wife-then-kind-of-girlfriend told me "we would never be more then friends") well I wouuld occasionally flirt back... it was less and less... and all within a few weeks (months according to her, and I will NOT argue) anyway...
I also met someone JUST before I met my now wife... we went out... we kissed... it was nothing... I met her again... I tried again... it WAS nothing
I met my wife and I loved her from the on set...
Anyway
My wife was some how informed of these overlaps...
I was confronted, I denied... and I yes... did lie... but, and it is a small but... but I assumed that saying it wasn't anything important would make it all go away...
Well...
We have had a rocky road... BUT we have ridden the road TOGETHER
And I am here... and something has triggered her anger... and I Do NO KNOW IF I WILL HAVE A WIFE FOR MUCH LONGER
I have suggested counseling... yet she believes that I will lie... :confused:

I am at my WITS end...

I LOVE MY WIFE

I LOVE MY FAMILY

Well, sorry this is so long, any thoughts?

Well, look where you are looking at once again for your answers, the internet. Not to say internet is bad but if this is a sore spot with your wife, you might want to look elsewhere.

Speaking from a wife who found out her husband also lied to her about something, it is the fear of the unknown that bothers her. What else is he keeping from me? What else do I not know. Remember, she found out through someone else and then you lied to her.

Maybe go to counseling by yourself and if she sees you are truly committed and sorry, (your internet pals have got to go though), then maybe she will follow in time. Time heals all wounds if you use the time wisely! Good Luck and God Bless!

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Originally Posted by Kygal

Well, look where you are looking at once again for your answers, the internet. Not to say internet is bad but if this is a sore spot with your wife, you might want to look elsewhere.


Maybe go to counseling by yourself and if she sees you are truly committed and sorry, (your internet pals have gotta go though), then maybe she will follow in time. Time heals all wounds if you use the time wisely!! Good Luck and God Bless!!

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She has the internet friends I do not... but YES that is a good suggestion (Counseling)

I am so confused. Did you cheat on your wife - while still dating and she just found out about it?
You need to go to counseling. If not marriage then independent. Let her see you are trying. You need to be open and honest about how you feel. And try to see things from her perspective. It may be no big deal to you - but obviously it is to her. And if you don't want to lose her - then you have to do what you can to save this marriage.

In order to resolve the problems, you and your wife really do need to see a marriage therapist, in person. You both can share your feelings and the therapist can be there to mediate. If you are serious about saving your marriage, then this is what you need to do. Not tomorrow or next week, but now.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NowWhat

I am so confused. Did you cheat on your wife - while still dating and she just found out about it?
You need to go to counseling. If not marriage then independant. Let her see you are trying. You need to be open and honest about how you feel. And try to see things from her perspective. It may be no big deal to you - but obviously it is to her. And if you don't want to lose her - then you have to do what you can to save this marriage.

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OK... let me be clear... sorry if it was a bit rambling... when we were JUST getting to know each other I had seen one other person... when we were together (I guess dating... at least very social) I saw this same person once more and yes, was still chatting (much tamer though) with several friends... since about three months into our relationship I have since NOT chatted with anyone other then my wife... MY take is we were just getting to know each other and SHE had reservations on what our relationship was (i.e. she kept telling me and anyone else that we would ONLY be friends)
UPDATE:
I have spoke with her and WE are going for counseling... and if nothing else I am committing myself to seeing a counelor for some time...
Thanks All and if anyone else has any input let me know!

At this point, person-to-person counseling is the only thing that can help. I would even consider removing the computer from home if it meant saving a marriage. You have lots of trust to build up, ask her how you can make that happen.