I'm jealous of my boyfriend's relationship with his 7 year old daughter
I feel ridiculous admitting this but I'm jealous of the relationship my boyfriend has with his 7 year old daughter. We've been dating almost 2 years, and there has been so much stress! We're both divorced, and met while we were separated. Both of our spouses left us.I have no children, (I'm 41) and he has 2, (he's 42). His son is 4 years old and his daughter 7 years old. The children live with their mother during the week and lives with their father every weekend, holiday, and the entire Summer. He lives 2 hours drive from their mother. Their mother is a big partier and spends very little time with them when they are with her. Their father, my boyfriend, on the other hand, is obsessed with them! We never do anything as a couple, and he refuses to get a babysitter so we can. He constantly says how much his children need him. Early in the Summer, I tried staying over at his house with he and the kids, but it didn't work out well because the children like to come into his room and sleep with him whenever they desire, and he feels they should be able to do this. So, by my being there, he'd have to get up in the early AM, when they awake, and go sleep with them in their beds. Our sex life has definitely suffered. Now we're reduced to a "quickie" occasionally after the kids are in bed, and before I have to travel across town to go back to my home.
With his children, he very loving, touching, and caring, but is not with me. He says its because the children need this kind of affection, and I should understand since I'm a grown up. Recently, during a church service, he sat his daughter in-between us, and while she sat contently coloring, he pulled her close to him, snuggling her and stroking her leg. For some reason, it gave me the creeps. She didn't solicit the attention, it was like, he couldn't keep his hands off her. Typically, when it's just he and I in church, he doesn't even put his arm around the back of the chair or hold my hand!
I don't want to be paranoid, but it seems he gets more pleasure from touching his daughter than touching me. When I tried to talk with him about this, he completely blew up, telling me I needed to see a therapist and my jealously towards his daughter was crazy.
I do not think anything inappropriate is going on between he and his daughter, but I cannot understand to over-flowing of affection directed towards his children, and it's all I can do to get a "crumb"!
I am nuts?