I am soon to be 18 years old. I have been with my boyfriend (who is also 18) for a year and a half now. For a while we have been talking about getting married as soon as I graduate from high school. I know this is right. We love each other very very much and are committed to making it work. And I have no doubt that it will work. Our problem is that my parents (actually just my dad) Doesn't think that I should get married so young. The reason he says that because he got married when he was my age and it didn't work out. But I am not my father. I am sure as you are reading this you are thinking "why dont you wait a few years and then get married?" Well, my answer to that is that he is going to be a marine. The way things are planned right now is that he will go away for boot camp in the end of February. He will come back for my graduation then we will get married. Then as a family we will move to the new base he will be stationed at. We want to get married now so I can go with him wherever he goes. I don't want to stay here with out him. So, I was just wanting some advice on how to help reassure my father that things will be OK. And if you have any other helpful advice I would love to hear that too.

You know, I don't think there is anything you can do to make your dad feel better about this. What you can do is ask him to respect your decision and support you. Your Dad is just looking out for you and wants what is best for you. He has life experience that tells him it would be better to wait.

Outside of being a military wife - what other goals do you have for yourself? Do you want to go to college?
It is very honourable that your boyfriend. Wants to be a marine. Especially with the way things are today - the probablity that he will be thrown into the war. A place, you obviously, can not go to.

I know you want to be together and you think this is the only way to accomplish that - but have you thought of the pros and cons for both sides? To wait or not to wait?

In the end, you have to do what is best for you - good luck!

Funny, my grandpa just said the same thing to me and I'm 28. In fact... he ignored me for a year long engagement and the day before my wedding (last month) he told me I'd screw it up since my parent's screwed theirs up. (gee, thanks)

You can't change dad's mind... he just wants what's best and I'm sure he doesn't want to see his baby girl leave the house so soon. Have a heart-to-heart and tell him you know he wants what's best, you love him, and you know in your heart this is what's right. Let him know you understand that being young will make marriage a little more difficult, but you're ready to fight and commit to this man for life. Then ask for his blessing... that's really all you can do.
Good Luck!

Just try to understand, even if you don't agree, that you father isn't trying to sabotage your relationship.

I know young loves that have lasted. Most don't. And in the ones that fail I think every one usually believe "this is real and it will last"...

So... I have a hard time encouraging you to get married. And... at the same time, I know it can last, even when married young.

So my advice is communicate as much as you can with your potential spouse. Marriages that last are built on a foundation of work and effort. Even the best relationships need to be tended, and we tend to get lazy about ourselves and our relationships. Talk about everything. Money. Plans. Sex. Goals. The more you comminicate, the better it will be.

As for your father... try to be patient and try to take his fear as what it is... he's afraid of your getting hurt. He knows a young persons mind is still growing and developing, and that what you want at 16 or 18 or 20 isn't necessarily what you want or need at 25 or 35.

You need to be willing to listen to him and not fight. Let him have some say. He's done the time with you. He deserves to be heard. If he keeps making noise know that the only true way you'll likely win him over is with time. Until he sees you in a healthy, long term relationship he is going to worry. It is his job.

Hell... I married later than many. I was 28. My wife is a few years older. While her father thought well enough of me, I know he was cautious to some degree for a time... but after a couple of years of seeing our marriage thrive, he came to accept it more... not that he didn't recognize it before, he just had the protective daddy thing going.

So... if you choose to do it, just try to be patient with those around you making noise. They are really only concerned about you, and they have some knowledge and wisdom from their experiences, even if your path is different than theirs in the end.

You know I got married young. I was 17 my hubby 19. Everyone thought we weren't going to MAKE IT. We did and we still are, two and half years of being happily married. You can't change your Dad's mind. Tell him you love him and you want him be involved in you life. If you have plans of going to college let him know. Not cause you are getting married means your life is ending, it's a new beginning. Go to school. And there is not rush for kids. Enjoy yourselves.
Good Luck :)

I'm in almost the same situation. Except my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 yrs and 8 months and he's in the Air Force... but I know how you feel!