Ask Me Help Desk - I have a father neglecting his kids and need any information I can get.

I have been married for 6 years and have 2 kids by the same guy.We are now divorced and I moved from California to Montana with the children.I have sole physical custody and am fighting for sole legal custody right now.I also want to get supervised visitation for him with the kids.What can I do to see if I can get it or not?My 2 year old is very attached to me and cries when he's with anyone else.His father doesn't spend time with him and my son actually calls my friends husband dada.My daughter is 5 and has no desire to see her father or his family.She says that he is not her father and that her grandpa is her dad.She says that all her "real" father does is yell at her,spank her, and is never around.She hasn't seen him since April of 2007.Can she talk to the court and have them hear her side of the story being the fact that she's only 5?Do you think I can get supervised visitation off that information?Can I bring in witnesses that have seen him neglect his kids to help my case?Any information will help please.

To get supervised visitation you have to prove that he is unfit and abusive and the children are in danger with him.In these cases the court usually appoints GAL/ guardian ad Litem/ who is independent .I do not think that the judge will have respect for an opinion of two years of age child or for desires of five years of age child.

The second question-do you have his or court permission to move out of California?

Quote:

Originally Posted by krisherr

I have been married for 6 years and have 2 kids by the same guy.We are now divorced and i moved from california to Montana with the children.I have sole physical custody and am fighting for sole legal custody right now.I also want to get supervised visitation for him with the kids.What can i do to see if i can get it or not?My 2 year old is very attached to me and cries when he's with anyone else.His father doesn't spend time with him and my son actually calls my friends husband dada.My daughter is 5 and has no desire to see her father or his family.She says that he is not her father and that her grandpa is her dad.She says that all her "real" father does is yell at her,spank her, and is never around.She hasn't seen him since april of 2007.Can she talk to the court and have them hear her side of the story being the fact that shes only 5?Do you think i can get supervised visitation off that information?Can i bring in witnesses that have seen him neglect his kids to help my case?Any information will help please.

I don't mean to pry, but you can abandon visitation all together and get child support, don't force the kids to see them if they don't want, They will begin to resent you for it. But if you must you have to go through the state he lives in. THe state you live in can do it but it takes longer if you do it it goes much faster. Good luck

You I have his permission to move out of state.

Quote:

Originally Posted by krisherr

I have been married for 6 years and have 2 kids by the same guy.We are now divorced and i moved from california to Montana with the children.I have sole physical custody and am fighting for sole legal custody right now.I also want to get supervised visitation for him with the kids.What can i do to see if i can get it or not?My 2 year old is very attached to me and cries when he's with anyone else.His father doesn't spend time with him and my son actually calls my friends husband dada.My daughter is 5 and has no desire to see her father or his family.She says that he is not her father and that her grandpa is her dad.She says that all her "real" father does is yell at her,spank her, and is never around.She hasn't seen him since april of 2007.Can she talk to the court and have them hear her side of the story being the fact that shes only 5?Do you think i can get supervised visitation off that information?Can i bring in witnesses that have seen him neglect his kids to help my case?Any information will help please.

In disputed cases you can bring witnesses but your children have to have appointed Guardian ad Litem.

What is appointed Guardian ad Litem?Is there a way I can get it where he doesn't visit the kids at all and only has phone visitation rights?do you think a judge would do that?

Not in California. Sorry I live here and have been in and out of court. Taking visitation from dad is most difficult if not impossible. You would really have to prove the guy is a complete loser. You could always try if you want, but you definitely want a good lawyer and a great case or it could backfire on you. Making you look like a parent who is unsupportive of a father-child relationship.

Being in Cali I know the fact that your 2 year old cries when he's with anyone else won't really matter. That is common for 2 years olds and especially if you have been the primary care taker. The fact that your daughter calls someone else dad won't be an issue either, in fact they may think bad of you for allowing it. Again, not supportive of the father-child relationship. And as far as her saying all her real dad does is yell and spank her they will consider that to be due to he is just more strict than you. A difference in parenting.

In California, you must go to a mediator prior to a court hearing. They require you to bring children in for the mediator to be able to interview all children 6 and over, so your 5 year old won't even be heard. You would both be likely ordered to attend parenting classes (or for the parent who seems to have less parenting skills) and co-parenting classes.

Guardian ad Litem is a lawyer the Court orders to act on the behalf of the children. That is really done and is usually only in extreme cases of severe allegations of abuse where the judge is having a difficult time sorting out the truth. You would have to hire a separate lawyer, paid out of pocket by you, to act on the behalf of the children if you want them individually represented. That lawyer would not be on your side or his but the children only. They would interview specialists (teachers, psychologists, doctors etc) the children have seen to gather facts and present a case. I don't see a Guardian ad Litem being likely for your case. BUT you would need to speak to a lawyer to know for your specific case.

You said there was an issue with neglect though... can you tell us what would be the specifics of the neglect charge?

Quote:

Originally Posted by tawnynkids

Guardian ad Litem is a lawyer the Court orders to act on the behalf of the children.They would interview specialists (teachers, psychologists, doctors etc) the children have seen to gather facts and present a case. I don't see a Guardian ad Litem being likely for your case. BUT you would need to speak to a lawyer to know for your specific case.

In most cases the Guardian ad Litem IS NOT a lawyer. It is likely possible for GAL to be appointed a psychologist or social worker. It is court practice to appoint GAL in cases of child neglect. In my point of view the GAL is a necessary part for getting supervised visitation.

You are correct, although they can be an attorney, that it is typically a probation officer/social worker for juvenile cases or a psychologist/social worker that is most commonly assigned as GAL in a child abuse/neglect case and a psychologist/child custody expert/social worker assigned in divorce/custody cases.

I stand corrected. Thanks GV70.

I should have said that a privately hired or court ordered attorney could present a court ordered GAL as witness. But the case would have to be a true case of child neglect, which carries serious and certain criteria. ::EDIT:: Or from my understanding in cases where there is an absence, incompetence or unfitness of both parents. They won't order a GAL because a child says someone "is never around". There has to be more than that.

It is more likely she could ask for the court to order a 730 expert.

::EDIT:: As to the supervised visitation, here at least, supervised visitation is usually only ordered when it is necessary to insure the safety of the child/children where there are substantiated charges of severe anger management, domestic violence or abuse. Not because one parent fails to use the court ordered visitation time he/she has been awarded.

Quote:

Originally Posted by juicyfruit01

I dont mean to pry, but you can abandon visitation all together and get child support, dont force the kids to see them if they dont want, They will begin to resent you for it. But if you must you have to go through the state he lives in. THe state you live in can do it but it takes longer if you do it it goes much faster. Good luck

If the visitation is court ordered she must allow them to go with him or she can be found in contempt of a court order. She wouldn't have the option to not allow him to see the kids. She has to file in the state that has jurisdiction of the children. It doesn't really matter if she lives in or moves to another state, she has to file a modification in the state/county where the current order was established.