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-   -   Is it wrong? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=11304)

  • Jul 26, 2005, 08:30 AM
    mr_X
    Is it wrong?
    I was wondering everyone's feedback on the question is it wrong for man to feel less of himself if his girlfriend has slept with more guys then he has women?Is it wrong for him to want to go out and match her or destroy her total?I haven't been a man to want to conquer the universe until I met my girlfriend even though I am the best she has ever had her stories of her past has awakened a beast in me that wants to rule the sexual universe and my question again is... is it wrong?
  • Jul 26, 2005, 08:31 AM
    mr_X
    One more question
    Is this what leads men to cheat?
  • Jul 26, 2005, 08:39 AM
    turtlegirl
    It's not wrong to FEEL anything in particular. It's how you choose to act on it that could be wrong. If you've got a good thing going, why botch it up? If she's had more partners than you, so what? It was before you met. It has nothing to do with you.

    You are the best she's had! It just took her a while to find you. Assuming the rest of the relationship is going well, she's got that question answered. I'm concerned, though, that she's sharing stories of her past. That doesn't benefit anyone. Stop that now.

    Ultimately, numbers don't matter, the connection does. I have had very few partners for someone my age and it really doesn't bother me. I have a sense of what's out there and I have no need to reach a quota. Neither do you. If you care about each other and are enjoying each other, that's all that matters.

    I think you know that anyway. Stop asking her questions and get those visuals out of your mind. (This also gets easier as you get older.)

    Good luck.
  • Jul 26, 2005, 09:05 AM
    Wildcat21
    I think it's REALLY wrong! First - that's a question you should NEVER ask or want to know - it's a question that can usually DESTROY a relationship.

    You got to grow up and stop asking trival, private questions.

    AND the problem is with question - PEOPLE LIE!! Some people throw out a number to make sure they have more - some CUT their number in half so the S/O does not get hurt, grossed out, think they are a whore, lose interest.

    I have heard of MANY gals cutting the number in half or more - MOST gals want you to answer first. Never answer first.

    Plus - do you really want to be with a gal who has been with 40 guys or 300 guys. I have a guy friend who's wife was # 358.

    My advice is to move from this gal and quit asking harmful questions.

    ALL THAT MATTERS IS IF SHE SLEEPS WITH SOMEONE ELSE AFTER YOU MET!! OK? You can't control what happened before you met. It doesn't matter what happened before you met.
  • Jul 26, 2005, 09:13 AM
    turtlegirl
    Amen to that!

    And I don't know what leads men to cheat. Are you asking because you're thinking of cheating? Take a deep breath here. Focus on this woman -- do you actually care about her or not? Proceed accordingly.
  • Jul 26, 2005, 09:29 AM
    Wildcat21
    Two words to WHY people cheat - respect and trust.
  • Jul 26, 2005, 01:17 PM
    artistall
    The Beast Within
    Maybe the beast that has awakened within you is a feeling of inadequacy in you're subconscious mind. You felt like a man, you had delivered sexually and that boosted you're self image. Then she tells you about her past sexual experiences, she been around, she has more experience than you so you feel less manly. OR on the other hand. Maybe the beast that has awakened within you is the beast that is telling you "what am I doing with this slut", "she's had all those men and I better get a lot of women so as we can both be sluts and be a better match" OR just tell her to keep her past sexual business to herself because you are not interested in how many men she has had sex with. So how many was it anyway?
    Inquiring minds want to know!
  • Jul 26, 2005, 01:28 PM
    Wildcat21
    You should NEVER care about other guys - that extremely insecure.

    All you should ever care about is what happens going forward. The past irrelevant.

    AND IF she IS talking about old boy friends then and guys she slept with - you don't want to be with this gal. She has no respect for you.
  • Jul 26, 2005, 05:49 PM
    BIGDADDY
    Truth About Men
    It is normal to feel intimadated about your girlfriend's history.
    You should feel some superiority that you're the best. She probably lied... i mean "WHAT WAS SHE SUPPOSE TO SAY"? Man to man... id probably bag a few more buddy.

    Ladies.. im going to remedy the age old secret of why men cheat!!
    Are you ready?? You can be a man's best friend, loving companion, and rock his world day in and day out. But you can never be this... another woman
  • Jul 26, 2005, 09:00 PM
    Wildcat21
    The best she ever had?? Hahahahaha!! That's great.

    What? Is she going to say your 4th best!

    Man this gal kills me!!

    Massive trouble she is! You picked a winner dude!

    Out the other 90 other guys she was with... 45 were told the ywere the best.

    Woman lie so as NOT to hurt your feelings.
  • Jul 9, 2007, 12:14 PM
    bigdreamer85
    wrong? No. silly? Maybe a little. If you're the best she's ever had, that's saying a lot. I wish I could say that to my current. =) I think you just need to forget the whole # thing, I don't know why partners share that info I think it's a big NO-NO. If you really like that person why would you want to feel inferior to them or them to you? I'd be more upset that I was told in the first place... If you love her forget about it other wise leave before you cheat. Macho man

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